Nuns with Guns

By: Seth Kaufman

Narrated by: George Kuch

The most hilarious man in hollywood is unarmed and dangerous!

Out-of-control producer Rick Salter wants to leave reality TV behind, get married, and make movies. But it’s not easy. When a senseless murder touches his life, Rick knows exactly what to do - enlist his pal Sister Rosemarie to make a TV series called Nuns with Guns, about four nuns competing to collect the most firearms. Protests and death threats pile up as the sisters travel the country running gun exchanges. Propelled by the show’s spirited stars and crazy stunts - and the shadow of death that looms over every episode - the series becomes a smash hit. As Rick pushes the envelope, trying to save America from itself, a question emerges: Who will save Rick?

©2016 Seth Kaufman (P)2019 Seth Kaufman

Critic reviews

“A smart, witty and engrossing satire! Kaufman is a wonderfully sharp-eyed observer of modern American lunacies." (Zoe Heller, Notes on a Scandal)

"Literary gold!" The year’s best new reality show concept is actually a book... It's as hilarious as it sounds!" (RadarOnLine.com)

"Rick is a charismatic antihero bolstered by credible side characters, and in the midst of Kaufman’s sardonic humor, there rings out an earnest outcry for gun reform." (Publishers Weekly)

Disarming Nuns

This is the second audiobook I've read by Seth Kaufman and enjoyed this possibly even more than the first. It had been sitting in my "to read" list in my library since I picked up a promo code for it a short while after getting the first book "King of Pain".

Again, we follow Rick Salter this time a short while after the events of the first book. He's recovered, some might say reformed, after his experiences but is still dead keen on producing a hit TV show, the idea for which lands in his lap thanks to one of the characters from the first (guess which, based on the title!)... which after a tragic event spurs him into action.

With another unstoppable juggernaut of a reality show on his hands, Rick launches the show into the stratosphere with people loving and hating the show (Rick's standard move) in equal measure. With the NRA and other 2nd Amendment enthusiasts trying to thwart him at every step, will Rick finally make it through an entire first season of a show he invented?

Kaufman doesn't pull any punches when hitting hard with stories and facts about gun violence. He even paints good arguments for the "pro" side as well. The story isn't trying to promote taking away people's rights, it's a show where people touched by gun violence can share their stories and hand in the guns in a show of solidarity.

I blasted through this book in two sittings (first a 5 hour stretch and then the remaining 3), as listening to George Kuch portray the razor-tongued Salter is a delight to listen to.

The only problem I have with Kaufman's books? The TV shows aren't real! I'd watch the hell out of Nuns with Guns!

I was given this audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. I have not let this affect nor influence my opinions of this audiobook, and have left an honest review.

Since this is a free review copy, I will be nice.

The book's author paints all gun owners, gun groups and gun sellers as HATERS. The director is okay with being a thief, corruption and even abortions that kill millions, but gun owners are bad, bad, bad.
The one shining light of the book was it's narrator.

Nuns Disarm the Public for a TV Show

I really had no idea what I was getting into with this book when I selected it. The title can suggest so many options, so I just dived in head first. I enjoyed the story, certain aspects not so much, but the story itself was interesting. As the title implies, this has to do with nuns and guns. The gun aspects are centered around a gun turn-in effort for a TV show and as a gun enthusiast, I will say Seth gets a lot of things about guns wrong. Doesn’t detract from this being a good story, unless you are adamant about accuracy or know a lot about guns and don’t like to hear made up details.

I really enjoyed the characters. I liked them more than the story, even though I really only thought there was only one real main character. Everyone else seemed to be in a static supporting role and while they had interaction with Rick, they didn’t develop throughout the story like he did. His quick wit, sharp tongue and overall sense of humor provided the needed levity to the subject this dealt with.

Gun control aside, I really enjoyed the story. I thought it was unique and interesting and kept listening even though I am not for gun control or buyback programs. The events that occur and even the human interactions are quite out there, so it was a great diversion from the books I typically listen to. I haven’t listened to King of Pain, so this is my first introduction to Seth Kaufman and have to say I want to listen to more.

As a 2nd Amendment enthusiast, I found tons of fault with this story. I don’t believe the author knows much about guns except how they are depicted in movies and that they are bad. I don’t assume this was meant to be a sermon on gun control, although I could be wrong. While it is clear some research on the subject was done, I found errors in the logic, statistics, and even names of guns. Telltale sign of all of this is that it is called a magazine and not a clip. The only people who switch those two are people who don’t know what they are talking about and Hollywood. I enjoy listening to opposing opinions of my own and assume that I am probably in the minority on that. If you are a hardcore 2nd Amendment fan you might do well by skipping this one, even though it was an interesting story.

George Kuch did a great job narrating. I think he provided the voice of Rick exactly as his personality was and enjoyed all the different voices he provided. He put a lot of energy into his narration and I think that is what helped me to really enjoy the story.

I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

A Misfire in the World of Audiobooks

I was going to keep this short because I don't like tearing down someone's work unless it is simply awful. The more I reflected on this the more my mind shifted. I'm here to give honest reviews, good and bad, and that's what I'm doing here. Bear in mind, I don't like to give out 3's because amazon and audible see those as negatives, not middle of the road like all sane people, so if you see a 3 or less from me, its earned.

That Being said:

Seth Kaufman's "Nuns with Guns" is, without a doubt, one of the kookiest audiobooks I've had the misfortune of listening to. This audiobook, narrated by George Kuch, left me with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. I'm relieved that it wasn't "Nuns with Big Buns" or a sequel to "Nuns on the Run." But while the premise promises hilarity, the execution falls flat on several fronts.

The story revolves around Rick Salter, an out-of-control producer who dreams of leaving the reality TV world behind, getting married, and making movies. However, his journey takes a bizarre turn when he decides to create a TV series titled "Nuns with Guns." In this series, four nuns compete to collect the most firearms, all under the guise of a gun turn-in effort. As you might expect, protests and death threats ensue as the nuns travel the country running gun exchanges.

Now, let's get to the heart of the matter. The most significant issue with "Nuns with Guns" is its portrayal of firearms and gun culture. As a gun enthusiast myself, it's painfully evident that Seth Kaufman gets a lot of things about guns wrong. While this might not be a deal-breaker for everyone, it can be a real annoyance if you value accuracy or have a deep knowledge of firearms. Hell's Bells, if nothing else it just demonstrates how little he knows about something he absolutely and obviously hates with a passion.

It's clear that the author is not an NRA member, and his understanding of guns seems limited to how they are depicted in movies and a simplistic "guns am bad" perspective. Not dissimilar to Frankenstien's Monster's mantra of "Fire Bad!"
It's evident that this book aims to convey a message about gun control, despite its insistence to the contrary. While it does make an effort to incorporate research on the subject, it's hard to ignore the flaws in its reasoning, statistics, and even the terminology used to describe firearms that are peppered throughout the story.

Furthermore, the story lacks a clear central theme, with the only recurring motif being the constant insistence that "guns are negative." This message is hammered into the reader's consciousness chapter after chapter, to the point of becoming tiresome. If you are a fan of Doctor Who, just imagine yourself as the Master, who hears the sound of drums continuously, to the point of driving him insane. That's the way this message felt to me. It's a one-dimensional approach that doesn't do justice to the complexity of the gun control debate.

As the story progresses, we see Rick Salter launching his reality show into the stratosphere, with people either loving or hating it, which seems to be his standard MO. With the NRA and other Second Amendment enthusiasts portrayed as villains trying to thwart him at every turn, the audiobook's agenda becomes all too clear. It paints all gun owners, gun groups, and gun sellers as nothing but haters, perpetuating stereotypes that don't reflect the diverse perspectives within the gun community.

While the audiobook takes liberties with its portrayal of guns and those who own them, the one saving grace is its narrator, George Kuch. Kuch's performance is commendable, breathing some life into an otherwise lackluster narrative. His skillful narration is the audiobook's sole redeeming quality.

In summary, "Nuns with Guns" left me less than enthusiastic. The author's apparent disdain for guns and lack of understanding about them is evident throughout the story. It feels like a platform for pushing a particular agenda, rather than a well-crafted exploration of a complex issue. While the premise might pique your curiosity, be prepared for a heavy-handed and one-sided approach that fails to do justice to the subject matter. If you're looking for an entertaining and nuanced take on the gun control debate, this is not it. "Nuns with Guns" may have its moments, but they are overshadowed by its shortcomings and its persistent preaching against firearms. The concept of nuns collecting guns to get them off the streets is, quite frankly, a ludicrous idea that doesn't hold water in the real world.

An unfortunate case of sequelitis

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

I really wanted to like this book, but it's impossible not to contrast it vs its predecessor, The King of Pain. If you're somehow considering reading this and haven't read KoP, I suggest picking up KoP and forgetting that Nuns exists.

KoP works because it orbits around the central theme of imprisonment and the reader and protagonist are both exposed to a bunch of different views of it, yet the protagonist never really seems to be able to connect the dots and relate the short stories he's reading or show he's reminiscing about to his current situation. He never really 'gets' the joke that the book runs on, and this makes the narrative hilarious. KoP is also written with a sort of Roald Dahl-ish approach to characters by casting them into stereotype roles and only fleshing them out enough to set up funny situations. Given a third of the narrative is about a TV reality show in which the majority of the contestants are participating, this works well.

Nuns, for better or worse, is a direct sequel to KoP and attempts to bring back and flesh out several characters from it who were much more effective as simple stereotypes. There's no real central theme unless you count the overly weightly drumbeat of 'Guns are bad' which reoccurs chapter after chapter. Worst of all, the protagonist is acutely aware of it and never lets you forget about it - why be amusingly neurotic when you can worry about your show for a sentence or two and then gloat about its success for a page? All in all, the book feels like an oddly structured morality play instead of a comic narrative, and the level of panic and introspection present in KoP is sadly absent.

Overall, this is book is ultimately forgettable and lacks any of the standout funny moments that made KoP shine.