My Footprint
Carrying the Weight of the World
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Narrated by:
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Jeff Garlin
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By:
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Jeff Garlin
About this listen
Jeff Garlin's hysterical, eye-opening journey to reduce his waistline and his carbon footprint - as told to Leonard Nimoy!
Jeff Garlin has dedicated the filming of an entire season of Curb Your Enthusiasm to completely make over his lifestyle in two major ways—by lightening his physical and his ecological footprints. After many false starts, he believes that writing a book about the experiment is the only possible way to help him lose weight and go green.
The hardest part of the endeavor is overcoming his food addiction—especially when craft services has a constant buffet of everything delicious you could imagine on set. In addition to cutting calories, Jeff accidentally falls into a love affair with pilates, sweats with Richard Simmons, and twice visits the Pritikin Longevity Center, which he says is “rehab for people who eat too much pizza.” Larry David’s rooting for him. Jerry Seinfeld’s plotting against him. And his wife is just plain annoyed by everything.
As far as going green, Jeff has always been a big recycler, but he has a lot to learn. For example, actor Ed Begley, Jr. is the guy to call if you want to reduce your environmental impact. Jeff does, and it changes everything.
He hopes that being healthy and green becomes a big part of who he is—if not now, when? My Footprint features exclusive audio material unavailable in any other format.
Read by the author as told to Leonard Nimoy.
©2010 Frosty Productions, Inc. (P)2010 Simon & SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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Greta Gleissner, a longtime professional dancer, dreamed her whole life of becoming a Rockette. Then she became one and she fell into the grips of a powerful eating disorder that began poison her life from the inside out. Something Spectacular is Gleissner's raw, personal chronicle of the devastating effects bulimia exacts upon her life during her time as a Rockette. As her disorder takes over, she begins to lead a dual life: happy-go-lucky on the outside; tortured by obsessive, self-destructive voices on the inside
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A Good Memoir, Badly Narrated
- By NNN on 10-09-17
By: Greta Gleissner
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
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Spelling It Like It Is
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Tori Spelling is the first to admit that the "reality" behind her popular television show, Tori & Dean, isn't always real. Not even Star magazine could invent the true chaos that happens behind the scenes. Luckily, Tori is famously honest and self-deprecatingly funny when it comes to her personal life - she's always "Spelling it like it is". Tori here shares her stories, her biggest challenges, and more with the usual humor, candor, and down-to-earth charm that her fans love.
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I Spell Opportunist: T O R I S P E L L I N G
- By Hilary on 07-22-14
By: Tori Spelling
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Confessions of a Carb Queen
- A Memoir
- By: Susan Blech, Caroline Bock
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time Susan Blech was 38 years old, she weighed a staggering 468.1 pounds. She binged. She was "only a little chubby," or so she convinced herself. Gripping, sometimes shocking, and ultimately inspiring, Confessions of a Carb Queen is the story of how Susan changed her life to save her life, ultimately losing 250 pounds without surgery. Susan speaks candidly about eating binges, fat sex, and other topics no obese person has dared to address.
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Negative reviews are ridiculous.
- By Heather Marie on 01-07-16
By: Susan Blech, and others
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- By Heather on 03-10-15
By: Amanda Beard, and others
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
What listeners say about My Footprint
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JUDY
- 11-27-15
Hysterical
Would you listen to My Footprint again? Why?
Yes. Jeff is a riot and I could relate to the food issues.
Who was your favorite character and why?
His wife- loved the parts about her. It felt like my marriage.
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Overall
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- Sunny
- 10-10-17
I enjoyed this book.
I struggle with food addiction and was able to relate to so many things in this book.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Brett
- 04-19-10
Thoroughly enjoyed every step of the journey
This has to be one of my favorite audiobooks. Jeff's story is very funny and he is brutally honest with his struggles at weight loss and recycling. I loved the concept of "as read to Leonard Nimoy". Leonard played a small but funny part chiming in occasionally.
If you are looking for a good laugh you absolutely cannot go wrong here. Plus you'll learn a little about reducing your own footprint (actual and carbon).
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Overall
- Doctor Robert
- 03-04-10
Honest Account of a Difficult Journey
Thanks, Jeff, for sharing your many lapses, slips and other mishaps along the way to a more healthy and environmentally-conscious lifestyle. You managed to keep it funny and you demonstrated the value of authenticity and openness about matters that are a source of shame.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall
- keynotes
- 08-01-10
An ok listen
I wouldn't consider this a largely funny listen, lot of truths in the authors statements but had only a couple of laughs from the entire book.
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- Ann Right
- 10-30-13
Don't waste your time
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
This is not an enjoyable book, it doesn't even have a couple laughs in it. This is a log of Jeff Garlin's food intake and daily activities. Please save yourself the hours that I lost.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Zeus
- 09-05-14
A Daily Log of a Food Obsession...Tiring Listen
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
I can't imagine anyone truly enjoying this book. It's a sad account of a man's obsession with food and lack of self control.
What do you think your next listen will be?
I have plenty to listen to, so have moved on already. Just starting "How I Slept My Way to the Middle".
How did the narrator detract from the book?
I don't feel Jeff Garlin detracted from the book. I always prefer when an author reads his own work. In this case, I was truly looking forward to an Actor reading his own story. Thought he'd add a great deal of fun to it. The material was just overwhelmingly repetitive and sad (in my opinion).
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
Not sure as I couldn't take it anymore and gave up on the book in chapter 3. If there's a redeeming quality to this story, it may be that he was very honest in his telling of his food addiction.
Any additional comments?
I wish I 'd read some of the reviews here prior to downloading this title. The negative reviews are dead-on point (unfortunately). I often tend to dismiss the negative reviews thinking this person is just being mean and over-the-top but rarely do I give up on a book. I look for that redeeming quality to pull out for my time invested. But like a bad movie, sometimes you just have to get up and walk out on it and cut your losses.
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