Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

By: Lori Gottlieb

Narrated by: Brittany Pressley

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)

"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)

"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)

Wanted more

The book was engaging enough for me to finish in a day and I’d recommend it. The geek in me wanted more statistics and historical context of what could have changed overtime. Woman being able to financially support themselves more than ever would have been great to explore.

I’m getting married READ IT

I was on the edge of making the decision to get married to a great man that I wasn’t 100% drop dead head over heels for in all aspects & this book made me realize how dumb I’m being 😅. My marriage is in December (73 days) & I think I made the perfect choice. This book answered all the questions I had and gave me an idea of what to expect in a real marriage & relationship. No sugar coating or fairytales. Just reality. I think this is a great book to read especially irony this very heavy social media time where there is always someone else to compare your partner too. READ IT

Every girl 25+ MUST READ THIS!

I am a man. Being through so many dates where women have immediately wanted me to kiss them and sweep them away, or the total opposite, dismiss me without even getting to know basic things about me---the problem is the same: they are imposing their fantasy unto me. They are not thinking about my potential towards their life goals. Instead they just go with whatever feelings they happen to have that day, and make or break me or any other guy based on small details that DO NOT MATTER for long-term relationship satisfaction, and potentially developing a family. BE CLEAR: It's not about settling. It's not about getting what you deserve. It's not about comparing yourself to what your girlfriends have or how your current guy compares to your ex's. It's about having the right mindset that will get you to the long-term goals that you will cherish for the rest of your life. Don't sweat the details, build your life.

Finished listening in three days

This was an easy listen as far as audiobooks go. The narrator was engaging and it almost felt like conversing with a friend. Sure the message was uncomfortable at times (inner feminist had some fits) but overall, I’m really glad I listened to this book. Highly recommend!

Understood

I loved everything about this Precautionary Tale! I am definitely taking heed to the Author's message. I understand the assignment.

Must read/listen for all singles

Do yourself a favor and listen!!!
Seriously, every single person needs to hear these words!

Amazing!

I’d recommend this to anyone who keeps thinking they can find someone “a little more perfect” when they have a perfectly good, honest, loving man right in front of them.
Especially when they’re not so perfect themselves! Loved this book.

Changed my life

Absolutely changed my life! If you are an unmarried woman—- or an unhappily married woman, PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND READ THIS BOOK.

Overall, amazing!

It was such an eye opener for me and it’s like a lightbulb switch went off! I already recommended it to my friends & I definitely will read it again!

Breaks Down Dangerous Female Pattersn

I realized many things about myself in this book. I'm now more self aware and able to think about why I've had the dating patterns I've had. Where I've been too critical towards men and how I looked at men for what they have versus what they're putting up with on the opposite end. This is entertaining to listen to and informative in a scientific, personal and spiritual aspect. This book is for any single woman who is getting back into dating or is currently dating.