Making Motherhood Work

How Women Manage Careers and Caregiving

By: Caitlyn Collins

Narrated by: Xe Sands

The work-family conflict that mothers experience today is a national crisis. Women struggle to balance breadwinning with the bulk of parenting, and stress is constant. Social policies don't help. Of all Western industrialized countries, the US ranks dead last for supportive work-family policies: No federal paid parental leave. The highest gender wage gap. No minimum standard for vacation and sick days. Can American women look to European policies for solutions?

Drawing on interviews with 135 working mothers in Sweden, Germany, Italy, and the US, Caitlyn Collins shows that mothers' desires and expectations depend heavily on context. In Sweden - renowned for its gender-equal policies - mothers assume they will receive support from their partners, employers, and the government. In the former East Germany, with its history of mandated employment, mothers don't feel conflicted about working, but some curtail their work hours and ambitions. Mothers in Western Germany and Italy, where maternalist values are strong, are stigmatized for pursuing careers. Meanwhile, American working mothers stand apart for their guilt and worry.

Policies alone, Collins discovers, cannot solve women's struggles. Easing them will require a deeper understanding of cultural beliefs about gender equality, employment, and motherhood.

©2019 Princeton University Press (P)2019 HighBridge Company

Eye-opening — must read

Illuminating research told in an accessible and engaging way. Collins makes the case — through the words of working mothers she interviewed in Sweden, Germany, Italy, and the United States — that government policies and cultural norms *together* impact women’s experience of work and family in each country.

I wish I had read this book before moving from the United States to a very conservative area of Germany, as part of an ambitious two-career couple with three young kids. The family supports in Germany are mind-boggling; but so are the fact that school ends in the middle of the day, supposedly guaranteed childcare spots are rare, and full-time babysitters are unheard of. Soon enough, I learned the slur “raven mother.”

My US employer’s expectations of workers crashed into Germany’s expectations of mothers, and the result was a stressful mess. This book put my personal experience in the context of western Germany’s changing policy and cultural landscape.

While Collins takes pains to point out the up- and downsides of each country’s system, I imagine many readers will want to move to Sweden :)

The narrator gives life and dimension to the interviewees’ stories — very well done.

Socialist manifesto disguised as feminist manifesto

This book is yet another drop in the ocean of poorly produced “girl power” books. I’m not upset that it is one-sided and opinionated. I’m mostly upset that the author, Caitlyn Collins, fails to propose any real solutions to the problems she recognizes. That, and the fact she never owns her socialist identity. She hints at the ideal utopia throughout the book but lacks the confidence to argue in favor for it outright.

If you’re the kind of person who loves to whip out fast facts about “gender wage gaps” to impress people at parties, this book is for you. Collins offers a variety of new material for you to use as sexism argument fodder.

If you’re the type of parent who resents your partner and children, this book is also for you. Collins does a great job making mothers, fathers, and children alike all sound like horrible mistakes.

However, if you are a truly exhausted parent looking for real applicable solutions to balancing work and life, this book is a waste of your time. I can almost guarantee no working mother ever read this book and said “that’s it! Cooperation is key! Compromise is the answer! I should communicate more openly with my spouse.”

This book is a disappointment, but it actually inspires me. If Collins could get this dumpster fire published, maybe I can be a published author one day.