Living and Loving After Betrayal

How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment

By: Steven Stosny

Narrated by: Arthur Morey

Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well-being and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and to build new, loving relationships.

In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful Compassion Power program. He founded the Compassion Power agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values.

In this audiobook, you'll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach. Most audiobooks on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This audiobook explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the audiobook helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.

©2013 Steven Stosny Ph.D. (P)2013 Tantor

Critic reviews

"May help sufferers gain insight and move along with life." ( Kirkus)

My thoughts and feelings were validated.

I am so thankful that this book existed, and that I listened to it. I will listen again and do the exercises

One of the best books on betrayal recovery

The book provides a roadmap to work on healing after betrayal, whether you decide to stay with your spouse or not.

A lot of great information and views

Although some have complained in their reviews about the book having lessons at the end of each chapter and found it hard doing them, I just paused where I needed, did the ones I wanted and took notes on things I felt were important reminders for me to use in the future. I REALLY enjoyed this book, it had A LOT of great information, different ways to view situations and I'm sure I'll be referring back to it and listening to it again as I complete my healing.

My Power is within

This book has helped me realize the healing is within myself and I do have control of my own life.

Read This For You And Them

to be betrayed by the one you gave your heart to can hurt. For me it led to self distructive behaviors which of course just adds to the pain. This book is an excellent map of how to go through the jungle of resentments, pains, and depressions..... life is short so use all the tools you can :-)

emotional pain is real but so is the healing

I am not going into details about my personal experience but I want to say that if you are being overwrought with emotions that are overwhelming you because of a sense of emotional betrayal you should consider this book as a potential tool with real exercises that actually can work to at first break the spiral of sorrow, fear, despair and anger that can drag you down if you don't take positive steps to heal yourself and that if you not try you are very likely to fail to recover. My favorite "qoute", if I recall correctly, the feelings you might be acting on are "not you" and you need to seek values the reinforce who you really are but please , if you are hurting now, go to the source before rejecting it out if my poor effort to praise it and of course do not rely upon it as your sole support, friends, family even strangers or maybe professional counselors if course but know this, people do care. Good luck.

Highly recommended book for healing

I found myself at a place where I didn’t like who I was becoming. I fluctuated between moods of depression and anger. I always thought of myself as a kind and loving person, but I had lost who I was during a three year period after I discovered my husband’s infidelity. This book has helped me rediscover my core values and live my life more fully as I act upon them. Although the betrayal wasn’t my fault, no one could do the heart work of healing that needed (and continues) to be done but me. This book is like a breath of fresh air and just what I needed to find myself again.

Best book Ive found for recovery.

2.5 years ago my husband of 25 years had an affair with his co worker who was 21 years younger than me. He told me he never really was in love with me but now he knew what real love was. Ive listened to dozens of these books and this is absolutely the best. If you can follow this advise you will recover. Ive listened to it ten times now. It has changed my life.

A complete explanation of how betrayal impacts humans

This book was recommended to me by a very good therapist who was helping me work through betrayal trauma. I read many good books in search of healing but none of them hit the nail on the head the way this book did.

One particular part that helped me immensely is Stosny’s explanation of resentment, how it is created, the power it has to impact our behavior and how to let it go. It is so good, I have used a simplified version of it to teach others about resentment. The other really good part is how it clarifies what a person’s options are when a partner has been unfaithful. It’s common for people to feel like they don’t know what to do, but Stosny lays out what your only options are.

There is really only one part that I believe is inaccurate, wrong, and not helpful. There is a reference to men being ‘visual’ and not being able to refrain from ‘checking out’ (objectifying) other women they find attractive. Stosny says something to the effect that a female partner would just have to accept that her partner does this. It is wrong because 1. Men are not more visual than women. 2. Men are perfectly capable of controlling their actions. Ogling at women is a cultural conditioning that says ‘women are sexual objects for males, therefore it is acceptable that men do this because they are sexually entitled to women.’ 3. It can be very painful and humiliating for a women to have her partner do this. A man can end this base habit by being mindful about it. It would be much better to raise the bar than to give men another pass on harmful behavior.

With the one exception, the book is very very good and I have recommended it to several people. : )

Insightful rewarding

I could not stop listening to it. So truthful and on target. Very helpful to those hurt by betrayal.