Just by Looking at Him
A Novel
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Just by Looking at Him
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Narrated by:
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Ryan O'Connell
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By:
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Ryan O'Connell
About this listen
From the star of Peacock’s Queer as Folk and the Netflix series Special comes a “funny, tender, and beautiful” (Gary Janetti, New York Times bestselling author) novel following a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world.
Elliott appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.
After falling down a rabbit hole of sex, drinking, and Hollywood backstabbing, Elliott decides to limp his way towards redemption. But facing your demons is easier said than done.
“With his singular voice and unforgettable wit” (Steven Rowley, author of The Guncle), Ryan O’Connell presents a candid, biting, and refreshingly real commentary on gay life, laugh-out-loud exploration of self, and a rare insight into life as a person with disabilities.
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Enrique “Quique” Luna has one goal this summer—get over his crush on Saleem Kanazi by pursuing his other romantic prospects. Never mind that he’s only out to his best friend, Fabiola. Never mind that he has absolutely zero game. And definitely forget the fact that good and kind and, not to mention, beautiful Saleem is leaving LA for the summer to meet a girl his parents are trying to set him up with. Luckily, Quique’s prospects are each intriguing in their own ways.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Performance; Strange Obsession with White People
- By Legio Evocati on 02-21-23
By: Aaron H. Aceves
-
Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
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Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 835
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 745
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 737
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
-
The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy
- By: B. T. Gottfred
- Narrated by: Alex McKenna, Maxwell Glick, B. T. Gottfred
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
Everyone assumes that Zee is a lesbian. Her classmates, her gym buddies, even her so-called best friend. Even Zee is starting to wonder. Could they be on to something? Everyone assumes that Art is gay. They take one look at his nice clothes and his pretty face and think: well, obviously. But there's more to Zee and Art than anyone realizes.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just WOW!
- By L. Caplan on 09-07-18
By: B. T. Gottfred
-
Gemini
- By: Penelope Ward
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,100
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,016
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,015
Diner waitress Allison Abraham has no idea her mundane life is about to change dramatically the day she serves a devastatingly handsome customer. Allison is immediately captivated by the mysterious man who stares through her soul with his electric-blue eyes. After he abruptly leaves the restaurant, she can't get him out of her head. She has no idea that he actually came on a mission to find her. Cedric Callahan wasn't expecting to fall in love at first sight with the pretty waitress he'd set out to find.
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5 out of 5 stars
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WHAT A JOURNEY, WHAT A LOVE STORY & WHAT AN AUTHOR
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 11-14-16
By: Penelope Ward
-
I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 463
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 402
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
-
Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 407
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 357
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 357
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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2 out of 5 stars
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
-
Come What May
- All Saints, Book 1
- By: A. M. Arthur
- Narrated by: Tyler Stevens
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 502
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 460
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 464
Jonas needs Tate. He just doesn't know it yet. Or at least he doesn't want to admit it. Because there is no way Jonas Ashcroft is gay. He's a straight, carefree frat boy player, just like any good son of a conservative state senator. If only his struggle to convince everyone - especially himself - didn't leave him so miserable. No matter how many girls or bottles he drowns himself in, Jonas can neither escape nor accept who he is.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A simple feel-good read.
- By Keith G on 12-28-17
By: A. M. Arthur
-
Pretty Much Screwed
- By: Jenna McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 313
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 283
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 284
For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Meh
- By Miss Bishop on 10-31-16
By: Jenna McCarthy
-
Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 653
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 575
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 573
Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
-
Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 222
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 196
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 193
Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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5 out of 5 stars
-
What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
-
God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 132
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 123
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
-
Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
-
30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
-
You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 295
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 268
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Di Canzio follows their story past the end of Maurice to the front lines of battle in World War I and beyond. Forster, who tried to write an epilogue about the future of his characters, was stymied by the radical change that the Great War brought to their world. With the hindsight of a century, di Canzio imagines a future for them and a past for Alec—a young villager possessed of remarkable passion and self-knowledge.
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Wonderful continuation of Maurice
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In the era of Grindr and same-sex marriage, gay bars are closing down at an alarming rate. What, then, was the gay bar? Set between Los Angeles, San Francisco, and London, Gay Bar takes us on a time-traveling, transatlantic bar hop through pulsing nightclubs, after-work dives, hardcore leather bars, gay cafes, and saunas, asking what these places meant to their original clientele, what they meant to the author as a younger man, and what they mean now.
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As his family falls apart day by day, Robin finds himself pulling away from the unquestioned, unexamined life that has been carefully laid out for him. Small acts of rebellion lead to larger questions of what it means to stand on his own. Falling into a fevered triangle with two other outcasts, Todd Spicer and Scott Schatz, Robin embarks on an explosive odyssey of sexual self-discovery that will take him beyond the spring-green lawns of suburbia, beyond the fraying fabric barely holding together his quickly unraveling family, and into a complex future, beyond the world of normal boys.
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It’s London, 2014, and Hal Lancaster, son and heir of Henry, Duke of Lancaster, is in a holding pattern: his mother is dead, his father is dying or remarrying or both, his siblings are fighting, his internship is pointless, and nobody will leave him alone. Everything is as it should be and yet nothing is right. Over the course of a year of partying, drinking, and flirting to dubious consequence, Hal is tested by brutal family legacies, Catholic guilt, and the terrifying possibility of being loved. The House of Lancaster will never be the same.
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Well written -Dissapointing
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In a world of bare-knuckled ideology and secret dossiers, Timothy Laughlin, a recent college graduate and devout Catholic, is eager to join the crusade against Communism. An encounter with a handsome State Department official, Hawkins Fuller, leads to Tim's first job and, after Fuller's advances, his first love affair.
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In 2018, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost vision in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatric hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday. As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time and discovered profound self-awareness. He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him.
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Amazing Story and Young Man
- By Carl Allen on 10-18-22
By: Colton Haynes
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Disorderly Men
- A Novel
- By: Edward Cahill
- Narrated by: Eric Fox
- Length: 14 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 24
Three gay men in pre-Stonewall New York City find their fates thrown together in the police raid of a Village bar. The three men find themselves in a police wagon together, their hidden lives threatened to be revealed to the world. Blackmail, a private investigator, Gus’s disappearance, and Danny’s quest for retribution propel Disorderly Men to its piercing conclusion, as each man meets the boundaries of his own fear, love, and shame. The stakes for each are different, but all of them confront a fundamental question: How much happiness is he allowed to have . . .
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Sneailky Relatable Book!
- By John Latona on 10-09-23
By: Edward Cahill
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Providence
- A Novel
- By: Craig Willse
- Narrated by: Marcus Zarco
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 9
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Story3 out of 5 stars 9
Mark Lausson has everything he thought he wanted: a coveted job at elite Sawyer College in Ohio. But at the start of his second year, stuck in a small town with deadlines piling up and paychecks falling short, Mark can already feel the fantasy crumbling. And then, a few weeks in, sophomore Tyler Cunningham shows up in class. In Tyler—confident, mysterious, and popular—Mark glimpses another way of being in the world. He finds Tyler’s self-possession both compelling and unsettling. Caught in the rush of sex and secrets, Mark ignores the increasing evidence that Tyler can’t be trusted.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Time I can never get back
- By A. Gaglione on 07-09-24
By: Craig Willse
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All Down Darkness Wide
- A Memoir
- By: Seán Hewitt
- Narrated by: Seán Hewitt
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
When Seán Hewitt meets Elias, the two fall headlong into a love story. But as Elias struggles with severe mental illness, they soon come face-to-face with crisis. All Down Darkness Wide is a perceptive and unflinching meditation on the burden of living in a world that too often sets happiness and queer life at odds, and a tender and honest portrayal of what it’s like to be caught in the undertow of a loved one’s deep depression. As lives are made and unmade, this memoir asks what love can endure and what it cannot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The very deepest end of the pool
- By Gary Francis Burnham on 05-27-23
By: Seán Hewitt
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Young Mungo
- By: Douglas Stuart
- Narrated by: Chris Reilly
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 686
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 601
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 600
Born under different stars—Mungo a Protestant and James a Catholic—they should be sworn enemies if they’re to be seen as men at all. Their environment is a hyper-masculine and sectarian one, for gangs of young men and the violence they might dole out dominate the Glaswegian estate where they live. And yet against all odds Mungo and James become best friends as they find a sanctuary in the pigeon dovecote that James has built for his prize racing birds.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Suffering Sappho!
- By Richard Stewart on 04-12-22
By: Douglas Stuart
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I'm Special
- And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves
- By: Ryan O'Connell
- Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 119
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 100
This hilarious part memoir, part manifesto reveals what sets apart the latest generation of young people coming of age in an all-wired, overeducated, and underemployed world. People are obsessed with Ryan O'Connell's blogs. With tens of thousands reading his pieces on Thought Catalog and Vice, watching his videos on YouTube, and hanging on to each and every #dark tweet, Ryan has established himself as a unique young voice who's not afraid to dole out some real talk.
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5 out of 5 stars
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loved it!
- By Felix on 06-22-21
By: Ryan O'Connell
What listeners say about Just by Looking at Him
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Tracy Casanova
- 02-04-23
I hope the author went to therapy
The whispering was hard to hear.
It was enlightening to hear the author's perspective on his experience with a disability and being gay. I truly hope he received professional help for his low self-worth and self-loathing.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 07-30-22
Waaaaao! What a read!
Great book! So happy I read it! Super funny. He is a genius to narrate and i can not imagine this book wothout his voice to read it. Also a book that touches so many important topics! Great representation for the minories as well. Just great read. You have to listen to it! ❤️
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Felix
- 06-19-22
Couldn't put it down!
Love hearing Ryan's books in his voice. Inflection, reflection, humor. A+ would listen again
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kimberlee
- 12-27-23
Cock 🙈🥰
I was on the set of Miracle Workers with Steve Busemi 10 feet away slapping muscles guys asses in an episode. one of the set boys was reading this book and I saw the cover and thought that sounds/looks interesting and on my way home I looked it up. I heard the first paragraph read aloud with him describing his boyfriends dick on audible here and I was hooked. The narration is so cute and the whole book was very lovable and funny and real. I liked how everything worked out in the end too. Him impressed by his perfect clean asshole and his eating lunch with his dad and a fling in the bathroom were some parts that stood out. I think of it as a sweet bedtime story I was told when I think back. ❤️
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ds
- 06-12-22
Transformational
The author takes a journey to accept (or not no spoilers) his disability. As a 50 year old disabled woman, I enjoyed this novel although I think non-disabled people would get a lot out it too as author reflects on relationships (romantic, familial, work, friendship) One warning do not get if you’re squeamish about descriptions of bodies or sex.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Matthew Everett
- 07-13-22
Memoir?
I'm familiar with the author and actor. The story seems like a autobiography; He's quite talented, but as the author of the book I have some issues. He talks too fast, and I found it difficult to understand some of his prose. I'm from NYC, so I'm used to fast talk, but this is much to fast, and often not understandable. I found little that brings this book an interesting read. I do like the author/actor personally, but can't recommend this read, even if LGBTQ or disabled persons are the main the theme. I recommend you skip this for BB now, unless you're interested in his casting in Queer as Folk. I was hoping for more.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- JoJo Bear
- 11-08-22
Beautiful journey
Wonderfully read & written by Ryan O’ Connell! This book is witty, endearing and is relatable to all! I strongly recommend it! ❤️❤️
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Gray
- 09-28-23
Such a great listen!
This book had me laughing out loud quite often and also tearing up at times. I loved listening to Ryan read his own story. It really brought it home for me.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Matthew Walker
- 06-08-22
Must read
I think Ryan O’Connell is an essential voice in media today. I have loved everything he has written and his show Special. His work, expounding the experience of otherness, of being a minority within a minority, while showing the vulnerability and uncertainty that is universal to all. Brutally honest, sexy, funny, embarrassing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I was sad that this book ended. Looking forward to his next work.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Scott Chance
- 06-24-22
This book is a moment
I am so thrilled, inspired, shocked, (not really) delighted and inspired that a book like this finally exists. This book is funny, horny, educational and stylish.
I love how Just by Looking at Him so easily toggles between ordinary life and filthy scenes, it’s just a joy.
Ryan O’Connor is the next queer, pop it-girl and I’m here for it.
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