Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

By: Natalie Hoffman

Narrated by: Natalie Hoffman

Do any of the following quotes sound like you?

“Why do concerns I bring up never seem to be resolved? Why do I feel like Charlie Brown, flat on his back from having the football snatched away? Why, when I bring up a concern, do I always end up justifying my existence or being the one to apologize? How do things seem to get turned around on me?”

“I feel like I walk on eggshells, and I’m scared of his reactions to grievances I express, so I keep them to myself.”

“I knew something was off for years but didn’t know what it was exactly. I knew that we were different - I would hear of other husbands supporting their wives in pursuing their dreams and be absolutely blown away. I would hear of husbands encouraging their wives to go out with friends and not be able to relate at all. I would hear of decisions being made mutually and not understand how that even looked.”

“I remember as a young wife thinking, ‘Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way? Maybe this is why old wives seem bitter?’ It wasn’t until year seven that I finally acknowledged something was wrong, and there wasn’t anything I could change to make it better. It was years 15 to 24 that I became unsure of reality and questioned my sanity.”

“He always apologizes after looking at porn or after blowing up at me or the kids. But nothing ever changes. And he gets mad if we don’t ‘forgive and forget.’”

“He was a mechanic by trade, yet I was afraid to tell him whenever the car was acting up or making a noise. He would tell me he didn’t want me putting miles on my car, so I would tell friends ‘no’ anytime they wanted me to come see them. I acted like a little kid afraid to ask permission to do stuff.”

“Nobody yells ‘Emergency! Call 911!’ or ‘Divorce!’ with all those tiny little ‘Hmmmm, that’s-a-bit-off?’ moments or maybe the ‘Ouch! He hurt me!’ scenes or the ‘What the heck was THAT all about?’ confusing moments that pile up over a period of years. All those tiny little pieces of the puzzle are things you just toss out with the trash because you’re too forgiving, too patient, too loving, too empathetic, too kind, too giving, too enamored with him - until you start to secretly collect them and put the real pieces of the puzzle (the truth) together and see a much clearer picture.”

One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. These women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.

©2018 Natalie Hoffman (P)2019 Natalie Hoffman

fantastic

this book is great for any woman of faith that finds herself in a relationship with a narcissist or any other emotionally/psychologically/spiritually abusive male. I been trying to know the right thing to do for years and I've been in complete confusion and denial. I've held on to hope that a miracle would happen and prayed so many times that God would touch his heart. The thing is, the abuser doesn't want to change because they don't think they do anything wrong. This book really helps you understand the biblical support in getting out of abusive relationships and the book also helps you with healing process. The author notes many other helpful books throughout the book and she is absolutely wonderful to listen to or read. I'd give it 10 stars if I could.

Outstanding & Validating

What an incredible book this is! The author came to feel like a friend, walking beside me and encouraging me along the way. I am so grateful for Natalie Hoffman and the work that she’s doing to help shine a bright light on emotional abuse. Thank you, with all my heart for this invaluable resource.

cleared up so much I struggled with

it is not going to be easy. there are 3 choices i must choose one. God will live me and be with me no matter what I choose. thank you Natalie!

Everything I needed to hear

So comforting to hear someone explain what I was dealing with in a way where I didn't feel guilt or ashamed of what was happening and that it wasn't my fault. Gives me confidence to move forward with my life without having to live in abuse and then pretend like everything is good. I feel like God answered my plea for help.

Thank you Natalie

This book is life giving, I’m grateful to God for the truths you are sharing to free so many of us in the road to recovery from abusive marriages.
You are a truth gift. Thank you for honoring God in seeking truth and not wavering when God showed it to you.
Love, Nancy O Kaye

Better than I could have imagined!

After a similar experience, I considered writing a book. I'm thankful she nailed all the key points and more! I don't need to write this book! It is so well done!!! I just need to point all others to this one! Thank you Natalie Hoffman!!!!

Amazing

Thank you for the validation! I am so thankful there are resources for hurting woman like me.

This book came right on time

From the very beginning I related to the author. I too have lived a very confusing marriage. What struck me was that Audible recommended the book to me, and it was just what I needed. It helped me make some very difficult decisions. I highly recommend it for Christian women who sense something is very off with their marriage.

Healing

This has been one. of the most healing books I have ever read!! I too have a very confusing marriage and have never understood why my attempts to fix things have failed and with no rational explanation from.my husband the majority of the time, other than to blame me for why it's not working....so many long and wasted arguments over things I was trying to negotiate with him on so it could be a win win for both of us and they always simply ended in his way or no way.....and with no explanation of why I should accept such an unfair situation....so confusing....this and so many other things have kept me confused in this relationship leaving me feeling like it must be me...even knowing it's not all me....but still wondering why anything I say or do never seems to help....makes me feel like suchban immense failure not knowing where to tirn....this book really has shpwn me so many things and reasons why nothing has worked....I can't thank the author enough for writing it in order to help me and others....it is part of my journey going forward to help myself to climb out of this pit I'm in

God’s lifeline for women in crisis

This is such an amazing book to help clear up and turn around the misconceptions that the enemy has allowed to infiltrate the church about marriage and relationships. I highly recommend if you feel lost and confused and other despair and trapped in your situation. Between your husband between your family between your church between yourself this is a very good reason to help you sort out the correct information advice and details about your situation.