I'm Your Emotional Support Animal
Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture
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I'm Your Emotional Support Animal
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Narrated by:
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Adam Carolla
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By:
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Adam Carolla
About this listen
Three-time New York Times best seller Adam Carolla is back to take on social media, social justice warriors, and a society gone to s**t.
In I’m Your Emotional Support Animal, Adam Carolla examines how our culture went careening off a cliff. We used to have one that created real warriors who fought world wars. Now it spawns social justice warriors who fight Twitter wars. He takes on those who are traumatized by Trump and “emotional support animal” owners who proclaim their victimhood at every airport. He stands up for the collateral damage of the #MeToo movement and for freedom of speech on “safe space” filled college campuses.
Examining the calculated commercials churned out by Madison Avenue, like the ones about cars “made with love,” Carolla rants on ads designed to either bum us out or make us think the corporation is run by Mr. Rogers. Turning to social media, Adam takes down the “hashtag heroes” who signal their virtue daily from atop Twitter mountain. And in the era of the Roomba, performances by dead celebrity holograms, and meals-on-demand delivery services, he looks down the road at our not-so-bright future as a species.
Frank, funny, and utterly unapologetic, this is not a book for those who need a trigger warning, but is THE book for everyone who wants to hit the snooze bar on the “woke” culture.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 478
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
- Life Lessons from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 256
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 214
An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Clever!
- By Sharlotte on 01-31-17
By: Dave Barry
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 248
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 249
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,185
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,070
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
-
Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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The Beast Side
- Living (and Dying) While Black in America
- By: D. Watkins
- Narrated by: Brandon Rubin
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 161
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 144
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 144
To many in the age of Obama, America had succeeded in "going beyond race", putting the divisions of the past behind us. And then 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was shot by a wannabe cop in Florida; and then 18-year-old Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri; and then Baltimore blew up; and then gunfire shattered a prayer meeting at a church in Charleston, South Carolina. Suddenly the entire country awakened to a stark fact: Young Black men are an endangered species.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent
- By Bruce Cline on 03-28-23
By: D. Watkins
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 359
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 323
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 320
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 116
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 116
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Thank You for My Service
- By: Mat Best, Ross Patterson, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Mat Best
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 14,281
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 12,891
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 12,833
Members of the military’s special operations branches share a closely guarded secret: They love their jobs. They relish the opportunity to fight. They are thankful for it, even, and hopeful that maybe they’ll get to kill a bunch of bad guys while they’re at it. You don’t necessarily need to thank them for their service - the pleasure is all theirs. In this hilarious and personal memoir, listeners ride shotgun alongside former Army Ranger and private military contractor and current social media phenomenon Mat Best, into the action and its aftermath, both abroad and at home.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If Deadpool was a ranger...with less cancer
- By Rick Valkyrie on 08-21-19
By: Mat Best, and others
-
Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,949
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,463
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,413
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
-
What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker
- A Memoir in Essays
- By: Damon Young
- Narrated by: Damon Young
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 595
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 533
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 533
For Damon Young, existing while Black is an extreme sport. The act of possessing Black skin while searching for space to breathe in America is enough to induce a ceaseless state of angst where questions such as “How should I react here, as a professional black person?” and “Will this white person’s potato salad kill me?” are forever relevant. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker chronicles Young’s efforts to survive while battling and making sense of the various neuroses his country has given him.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Reviewed by a B
-
Canada
- By: Mike Myers
- Narrated by: Mike Myers
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,868
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,715
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,713
Comedy superstar Mike Myers writes from the (true patriot) heart about his 53-year relationship with his beloved Canada. Mike Myers is a world-renowned actor, director and writer and the man behind some of the most memorable comic characters of our time. But, as he says, "No description of me is truly complete without saying I'm a Canadian". He has often winked and nodded to Canada in his outrageously accomplished body of work, but now he turns the spotlight full-beam on his homeland.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Thoughtful and perfect for any X-Pat from Canada
- By Hugh Burnham on 05-02-17
By: Mike Myers
-
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
-
BRAVE
- By: Rose McGowan
- Narrated by: Rose McGowan
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,317
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,198
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,196
In a strange world where Rose McGowan was continually on display, stardom soon became a personal nightmare of constant exposure and sexualization. Rose escaped into the world of her mind, something she had done as a child, and into high-profile relationships. Every detail of her personal life became public, and the realities of an inherently sexist industry emerged with every script, role, public appearance, and magazine cover. The Hollywood machine packaged her as a sexualized bombshell, hijacking her image and identity and marketing them.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
I always wondered what it was like to be Rose
- By Bobbie J Daniel on 03-01-18
By: Rose McGowan
-
Trejo
- My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood
- By: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Narrated by: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,478
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,245
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 2,247
On screen, Danny Trejo the actor is a baddie who has been killed at least a hundred times. He’s been shot, stabbed, hanged, chopped up, squished by an elevator, and once, was even melted into a bloody goo. Off screen, he’s a hero beloved by recovery communities and obsessed fans alike. But the real Danny Trejo is much more complicated than the legend.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The best book ever!
- By Nicolas Rocha on 07-08-21
By: Danny Trejo, and others
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Ever wonder what you would say or do if you didn’t give a f--k? Adam Carolla can tell you. In his sixth book, the comedian, podcaster, and provocateur does what he does best—doles out advice and opinions with utter disregard for our politically correct, self-righteous, virtue signaling, woke times.
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2 out of 5 stars
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In President Me, Carolla shares his vision for a different, better America free from big issues like big government down to small problems like hotel alarm clock placement. Running on an anti-narcissism platform, President Carolla calls for a return to the values of an earlier time when stew and casserole were on every dinner table and there were no “service dogs” on airplanes. President Me hits right at the heart of what makes our country really annoying, and offers a plan to make all of our lives, but mostly Adam’s, much better.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Quite entertaining, but repetitive...
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Not Taco Bell Material
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Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories and debuts some never-before-heard tales as well. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for over 15 years. Yet he never lost his underdog demeanor.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must have for any Adam Carolla Fan!
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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...
- . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy
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It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Save your money: racist, ignorant, loud babble
- By elpeposo on 11-24-10
By: Adam Carolla
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Daddy, Stop Talking
- And Other Things My Kids Want But Won't Be Getting
- By: Adam Carolla
- Narrated by: Adam Carolla
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,520
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,371
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,370
Adam rips parenthood a new one, telling it straight about what adults must do if they don't want to have to support their kids forever. Using his own crappy childhood as a cautionary tale, and touting the pitfalls of the kind of helicopter parenting so pervasive today, Daddy, Stop Talking is the only parenting book you should ever read.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More than just hilarious
- By Sparky on 07-29-15
By: Adam Carolla
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No Safe Spaces
- By: Adam Carolla - foreword, Dennis Prager - editor, Mark Joseph - editor
- Narrated by: John McLain
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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You have the right to to remain silent.... Terrifying violence on college campuses across America. Students lashing out at any speaker brave enough to say something they disagree with. Precious snowflakes demanding "Safe Spaces" to protect them from any idea they haven't heard from their liberal professors. In this book and the accompanying movie, Dennis Prager, Mark Joseph, and Adam Carolla expose the attack on free speech and free thought. It began in the universities, but - fair warning - it's coming to your neighborhood and your workplace.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A very important book for our times
- By John Parker on 09-28-20
By: Adam Carolla - foreword, and others
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Ever wonder what you would say or do if you didn’t give a f--k? Adam Carolla can tell you. In his sixth book, the comedian, podcaster, and provocateur does what he does best—doles out advice and opinions with utter disregard for our politically correct, self-righteous, virtue signaling, woke times.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I tried.
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In President Me, Carolla shares his vision for a different, better America free from big issues like big government down to small problems like hotel alarm clock placement. Running on an anti-narcissism platform, President Carolla calls for a return to the values of an earlier time when stew and casserole were on every dinner table and there were no “service dogs” on airplanes. President Me hits right at the heart of what makes our country really annoying, and offers a plan to make all of our lives, but mostly Adam’s, much better.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Quite entertaining, but repetitive...
- By Matthew on 05-17-14
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Not Taco Bell Material
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Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories and debuts some never-before-heard tales as well. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for over 15 years. Yet he never lost his underdog demeanor.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must have for any Adam Carolla Fan!
- By Ron on 06-13-12
By: Adam Carolla
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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,540
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,885
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,876
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
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1 out of 5 stars
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- By elpeposo on 11-24-10
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5 out of 5 stars
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More than just hilarious
- By Sparky on 07-29-15
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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You have the right to to remain silent.... Terrifying violence on college campuses across America. Students lashing out at any speaker brave enough to say something they disagree with. Precious snowflakes demanding "Safe Spaces" to protect them from any idea they haven't heard from their liberal professors. In this book and the accompanying movie, Dennis Prager, Mark Joseph, and Adam Carolla expose the attack on free speech and free thought. It began in the universities, but - fair warning - it's coming to your neighborhood and your workplace.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A very important book for our times
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By: Adam Carolla - foreword, and others
What listeners say about I'm Your Emotional Support Animal
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Gunther LeCroix
- 08-02-20
those who need to read this probably won't
hilarious...insightful...thought and discussion provoking...irreverent.
everything that you want from Adam Carolla and more.
sadly those who most need to read this book won't.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- abraham assad iv
- 06-26-20
Glad I got the audio version
I would be reading this in my head in Carolla's voice anyway. Plus there are some great sidebars added in. The content is good as well.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tanya
- 06-26-20
Hey Man
I listen to Adam carolla show daily and love it.
you won't be disappointed if you add this book to your collection. the only downside I could foresee is if you listen to this with almost invisible earphones people are going to think you're crazy with your outburst of laughter.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sherry s
- 06-26-20
Finally
Who would have thought that one of the guys from The Man Show would be the voice of reason we’ve all be waiting for. Adam comes at each subject with an honest assessment while at the same time being funny and entertaining.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- J. Scott
- 01-18-21
Loved it!
Hilarious and poignant. Highly recommend this book! I will definitely be listening to this one again.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- shain a.
- 07-23-20
Adam should be president
Adam’s views, perspectives, and opinions are brilliant! If more Americans embraced his philosophies we’d be golden!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lisa J. Fedie
- 06-24-20
disappointed...
Sad Adam didn't talk about the Linzess commercial- the one where the lady does a double fist pump after taking a giant satisfying dump on an airplane-before it takes off! Thanks, lady (and Linzess for this flight). Neveerheless, still highly recommend.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Holly
- 06-17-20
HILARIOUS!
Adam is so hilarious in his criticisms and observations of our increasingly ridiculous culture. No one is safe!! Major trigger warning but those that would need the trigger warning aren’t likely to ever read it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Eric Z
- 07-21-20
Facts!
Great book and amazing take on our society! More need to read about what most people look and act like in our lives!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Andrew R. Durham
- 12-28-20
The Best.
Adam is my clone, much to my wife’s dismay. Loved it and his podcast! Can’t wait for the next.
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