I'm Just Here for the Free Scrutiny

One Model's Tale of Insanity and Inanity in the Wonderful World of Fashion

By: Abby Rosmarin

Narrated by: Allyson Ryan

How do I break into the modeling world? Do I have what it takes to become a supermodel? Where did I leave my keys? I will answer none of these questions in my new book I'm Just Here for the Free Scrutiny. But I will provide you with a few laughs as I talk about my time in the fashion and commercial industries. From when I learned I don't have a sex-phone operator voice to when I fainted in the middle of a shoot. From when I bombed a movie audition to when I was upstaged by the modeling equivalent of a soccer mom. It's all here. So sit back, relax, and listen to a few stories that will remind you that modeling is about as glamorous as babysitting a bunch of toddlers. Toddlers on a sugar rush. By the way, your keys are underneath your jacket in the kitchen.

©2014 Abby Rosmarin (P)2014 Audible Inc.

The Real Story

This was a witty tongue-in-cheek look at the modeling industry from the middle. Like the author I tried modeling, like the author I was plus sized; unlike the author I got very little work. At 6-4 and anywhere from 205 to 220 my size was a major drawback; the model has to fit the clothes, not the other way around. I do have wonderful memories of my time in the garment industry. Like the time in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina standing hip deep in the Atlantic ocean in March, hoping not to die of hypothermia as I modeled swim trunks.
Her story of trying for a part in a movie was poignantly amusing; I remember being told to "walk bigger" in my one and only stab at being in the movies. Evidently I didn't walk big enough and alas, my career as a big Hollywood star never came to be.

As with with most facets of life in pretty much any country in the world it's a huge advantage to have been born with a Y chromosome. The few times that a booker or photographer actually spoke to me as if was a insect a hard glare was enough to cut off any continuation of the diatribe. Well that and an expression that said "crazy redneck musclehead" is pissed, and maybe a step or two in their direction as if I were about to ' hulk out. though satisfying at the time it was most likely didn't help in getting me jobs in the future.
She touches on wannabe parents, runway mothers, insensitivity to the point of heartlessness and the lack of the humanity in a business that isn't nearly as glamorous as it might appear to be from the outside. This is a very good two and a half hour listen.

Good if you're just looking for some modeling tips.

Audiobook thankfully was free. It reminded me of a lecture you might get at a modeling school, rather than a traditional book. It's good if you're just looking for some modeling tips.

I gave it an extra star because I found the 'Buckingham princess' comment kind of funny. Apparently, things like that do happen if you know how to manipulate situations.

Quick entertaining listen

Well-written, humorous anecdotes about the day in the life of a not so famous model.

Rejection Can Be Fun and Informative!

I'm Just Here for the Free Scrutiny by Abby Rosmarin was surprisingly entertaining and well written. I was happy to learn more about Abby's life as a model making a living in the more mundane areas of the fashion industry. She managed to write about negative comments and embarrassing experiences in a relatable, humorous way. Her brand of snark contains the right mixture of self-deprecating humor, insight, and sarcasm. A book about rejection can come off as sour grapes. Fortunately, this book does not. The author navigates the edge between self parody and pity party expertly. Allyson Ryan's narration performance was very strong and added to the overall impact of the story. I would recommend this book to anyone who has worked in fashion, photography, or advertising and also to anyone who is interested in any of those pursuits.

Horrid, simply horrid

Listening to it was as torturous as being stuck on a plane in coach listening to somebody who wouldn’t stop whining and who thinks she is funny.

The tone and stupidity never changed. I did not finish it.

How did this diatribe ever get on Audible. Even if the screener didn’t speak English the nasally voice and “personality?” of the narrator would have felt as pleasant as a root canal.