Ill Met by Moonlight

By: Gretchen Rix

Narrated by: Bill Oberst Jr.

Walking death, they're called.

And those horrible macadamia trees.

But their real names are Whig, Mary Jane, and Quetzalcoatl, just to name three of them.

Trees don't walk. But here they do. In Ill Met by Moonlight they walk, they kill, they eat people, and then they're....

Nope.

Telling you more would spoil the fun.

Welcome to this horror collection about the walking macadamia nut trees of Hawaii. Believe it or not, you're going to laugh. A new addition to the humorous horror genre.

Enjoy.

©2016 Gretchen Rix (P)2017 Gretchen Rix

day of triffids on steroids!

Vivid imagery and imagination take this collection over the edge! Fun and colorful from start to finish.

Feed me. Feed me now. Now. NOW. Right NOW.

Ill Met by Moonlight, is a delightfully unexpected pleasure: a book of nine short stories with a continuity of theme: the macadamia trees of a small estate in Hawaii which had been transplanted to the other side of the island by a research company, up to and including their relocating to a new place, an island grouping suitable named No Mans Land. Every story is refreshingly different, from the (almost) conventional private eye investigation - the title story - through to the discovery of what a man's cat really thought about his owner. The reader will be introduced to murderous attacks, the quest for an homeland, the escape and transformation of a killer from jail and even a recipe for Brown Betty, a form of apple pie (although I am unable to verify how good this is as I have not yet cooked it, but if it was good enough to create an ambassador....).

These tales could be construed as horror stories were it not for the delicious naughtiness and humour each brings, as we!l as being well written. The first story instantly draws in the reader with three quirky characters, thrust briefly into focus and as quickly dispatched again, but cleverly glimpsed at different moments of time to bring them onto a collision course. Despite their brief presence, all three make a big impact. Readers will be delighted to find literary references peeping out of some chapters, too. Bill Oberst Jr., the narrator of this audiobook, creates his own impact with his excellent performance. He has a pleasant voice and reads with good humoured clarity, allowing the stories to flow seamlessly through him, his own character disappearing behind that of the beings in the book. Each protagonist is individually and appropriately voiced and the whole is a pleasure to hear.

Each chapter of the book, after the initial dedication, is a separate story, so they are easy to find. The titles are:
1) I'll Met by Moonlight
2). Macedonians on the Move
3). The Curious Case of the Brown Betty
4) The Sitter Tree
5) All's well that Ends
6) Hunzel Monday
7). No Mans Land
8) Expiation
9) Taba Mori

The individual chapter titles also each have their own dedication, some to folks personal to the author, some more widely known, such as Steven King, Ray Bradbury, and Richard Branson. A daring move by this adventurous author: but she has successfully delivered the horror wrapped up in laughter and smiles. A pretty amazing achievement.
My thanks to the rights holder of Ill Met by Moonlight, who, at my request, freely gifted me with a complimentary copy, via Audio Empire. Definitely recommended to ease away the tensions of everyday, mundane, life. I had thought this book might be fun but it surpassed my expectations.

High 4s

I love horror comedy. so walking talking trees are something I dig. I honestly think this is my first read with mutated macadamia trees, so kudos to the author for their brilliant imagination!!!

Nice and creepy!

A very good series of short horror stories, brought vividly to life by Bill Oberst Jr. I love that Ms. Rix took ordinary macadamia trees and made them creepy, sentient characters. I hope to see more stories about them! :)

I really enjoyed listening(and I would recommend listening in the dark; I didn't, but the next time I definitely will).

The stories will make you look over your shoulder, any time you're around any trees!

So if you love horror, and are looking for something different, check this out. I very much recommend it!

--DystopiaGrrl

We are not alone!

Plant life is alive and well living alongside us in our existence. They have natural defense mechanisms that are meant to protect them from being eaten by us, such as lectins, phytates, and oxalates. Enough micro nutrition, the point is, this book offers some insightful views about how plants and people may need to eventually get on board together. I enjoyed the detailed writing that incorporated lots of action, sensory imaging, and as always the narrative stylings of Bill O'Berst Jr added amazing depth and colour to the characters, as well as the Trees!!! I thought the idea of using a Macadamia tree was brilliant. Their menacing leaves and seed pods play into a tree that might give you some fits; like a Magnolia tree with its many weapons. Overall the author, Gretchen
Nix, shows the connection that we all have on each other and warns us to make sure we weigh all the consequences before we act. I enjoyed the Brown Betty recipe and always appreciate a shoutout to the great Magnum PI!!!

Hilarious stories!

This is a side-splitting set of stories about walking macadamia trees that pose a significant health risk to humans.

You do not want to get in the way of these bad boys! I laughed out loud more than once.

Ms. Rix is not afraid to have her trees chomp down on a few humans. But for the most part, they deserved it.

Bill Oberst Jr provides enthusiastic narration that fits the tone of the stories well. He really made the stories come to life.

Hilarious and fantastic!

A fun listen from beginning to end! Written in a similar fashion to Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles, which guarantees something everybody will enjoy (even if you don't like the whole thing, you'll probably like at least one story). Bill Oberst Jr brings the stories to life with unique voices and a wonderfully smooth way of talking that really engages the listener. Dramatic and comedic timing was downright perfect and I thoroughly enjoyed his Winnie-The-Pooh-sounding cat. Gretchen Rix leaves plenty to the imagination while also managing to build a unique world around the concept of walking, talking, murdering macadamia trees that (unlike most horror stories) doesn't end in the total annihilation of the threat in question. I enjoyed it immensely and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes a creative concept (or to those who know a good tree).

Great narration, gory silly fun stories

This performance really is superb and brings a delightfully weird set of stories to life. The characters are well written by Rix, whose wicked sense of humor is most effectively deployed by Oberst's gift for character voices and engaging narration. I highly recommend it.

Not My Cup of Tea

I was given this story for an honest review. On that note, I'd like to apologize that I wasn't able to finish this batch of short stories. In all honesty, I wasn't a fan at all. I got through the first three stories and, after having not liked any of them thus far, I decided to stop.

I think instead of having written multiple short stories about attacking, human eating, macadamia trees, the author should have condensed them down to a single story. That way there would have been a better flow to the stories and they would have had some meat to them. As they stand, there's just nothing there. There are no real descriptions of the characters besides a lady (Betty) being fat. There was no reason or urge to continue listening because nothing really happened.

I didn't like the authors writing style; instead of experiencing the story alongside the narrator, it was more like listening to someone simply tell a story. Boring. One might imagine these being good stories (this batch was under the Horror label on Audible) to be read at night or something along that line, but no. These were just boring. Like the author and story, I wasn't a fan of the narrator either. There were so many random pauses throughout the part I listened to, it's like he got tired after reading a couple of sentences, stopped recording and then started up again. There were times when he would incorporate these long pauses between words that made no sense. There were many times, when... not sure if this was because there were misspelled words in the stories or because the narrator couldn't read properly...but lots of words were pronounced wrong. For example, instead of saying "amBulance" the narrator pronounced it as "amUlance."

Question for the first story: why would a couple of robbers think a laboratory would have been a good place to rob for money? That made no sense.

Question for the second story: What happened? I swear the story started and like 2 seconds later it was done.

Needless to say, I wouldn't recommend this author, story, or narrator to others. No thanks.