If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You
A Novel
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If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You
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Narrated by:
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Mia Hutchinson-Shaw
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By:
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Mae Marvel
About this listen
Ms. and Ms. Smith meets The Pairing in this heart-racing romance of secrets, spies, and steam.
A few rules for the international superspy:
(1) Never blow your cover.
(2) Never accept the first plan.
(3) Never fall for anyone at the agency. Especially if she’s your ex-girlfriend.
Yardley Whitmer, code name “the Unicorn,” can do no wrong. She’s honed her spycraft and become an instant legend in the field. If only breaking up with her girlfriend were as easy as rappelling off the Eiffel Tower. Living a full-time cover story has slowly eroded her relationship until there’s nothing left but lies.
KC “Tabasco” Nolan, hacker extraordinaire, can crack any code—except the one that would tell her the right moment to confess her secret job to Yardley. Now it’s too late, and she’s in danger of losing the best chance at love she’s ever had.
When an undercover shakedown goes wrong, Yardley and KC discover the unbelievable truth—that they’ve both been working at the agency for years. To salvage the mission, they partner up and fly across oceans, race through winding European streets, and give in to inconvenient passion while hiding in an ambassador’s linen closet. But can they throw away their rules and fight through their secrets to fall in love with each other’s true selves?
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2025 Mae Marvel (P)2025 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
Most Anticipated by Goodreads
“The international intrigue and well-plotted action sequences evoke James Bond, but the story keeps a sense of cozy sweetness at its core and wears its politics on its sleeve, extolling the virtues of diversity, public service, and queer love. It’s a delightful diversion.”—Publishers Weekly, Starred Review
“Engrossing and highly unique… This slow-burn, fascinating novel reads like a spy thriller that is laced with angst and sexual tension… an exciting addition to the sapphic genre.”—Booklist
"The action is fast, and their inconvenient make-out/make-up sessions are hot, while the covert operation is expertly woven through the romance. Marvel sends readers on a thrilling ride in this steamy spy romance.”—Library Journal
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1
Juliette Ricci dreams of only one thing: being the best women’s tennis player in the world. She’s worked nonstop with her strict father/coach to prepare for her big chance in the Australian Open. Unfortunately, she’ll be playing Lucky Luca Kacic, an aloof player whose unorthodox style and reigning popularity deeply irritate Juliette. For months they’ve traded sly insults in their press conferences leading up to their showdown on the court, and their first ever match is the most anticipated of the season. But Juliette refuses to let her nerves—or Luca’s perfect abs—get the best of her.
By: Katie Chandler
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In Her Sanctum
- By: Emma Bailey
- Narrated by: Amber Lote
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Elise Hahnfeld is the "perfect", obedient, high-performing office worker. She’s been a doormat for so many years it felt second-nature, but she’s growing exasperated at the drudgery of her normal life, her job that’s taken more from her than she can afford to give. If only someone was there to show her a different path, one where the unknown can be exciting instead of terrifying. Someone who could distract her from the mundane. When Elise loses everything, desperation drives her to do something unthinkable.
By: Emma Bailey
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Same Time Next Week
- By: Emily Smith
- Narrated by: Lula Larkin
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Is it really ever too late to be happy? That’s what young attorney Alex Harris finds herself asking while married to her bartender wife, Beth. For several years, Alex has resigned herself to a mediocre relationship, feeling doomed by the marriage vows she’s already taken. But everything changes when she walks into a small café one afternoon and meets Michelle Masters. As their friendship flourishes, Alex’s marriage crumbles around her, and she’s forced to question the only life she’s ever known.
By: Emily Smith
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The Next Chapter
- A Novel
- By: Camille Kellogg
- Narrated by: Mara Wilson
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Katrina Kelly might have eight million Instagram followers and a multipage IMDb listing, but she also has a completely stalled-out career and some major questions about her sexuality, which seems to be moving closer to raging lesbian every week. Yet maybe she can solve both of those issues at once. . . . After all, rebranding as a queer icon is a great way to jump-start an acting career.
By: Camille Kellogg
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Sweet Home Alabarden Park
- By: TJ O'Shea
- Narrated by: Jen Jayden
- Length: 19 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 11
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 11
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Story5 out of 5 stars 11
Fiona Turner wonders which challenge will be the death of her: the renovation of a massive, crumbling, centuries-old English castle to make it fit for the King and Queen of England, or turning an American into a proper English duchess. As Princess Beryl's lady-in-waiting, Fiona's duties are usually limited to the tedium and tradition of royal functions. However, in preparation to host the king and queen's anniversary party, Princess Beryl has tasked Fiona to spearhead the renovation of a neglected but beautiful estate called Alabarden Park.
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5 out of 5 stars
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great story and it avoided pitfalls
- By Andrew Ratka on 06-14-25
By: TJ O'Shea
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Unadulterated Something
- By: MJ Duncan
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Emma Beauchamp and Campbell Jordan’s rivalry on the ice was legendary. Retirement should have closed that chapter of their lives, but when Campbell joins the faculty at Stonebridge—the prestigious Berkshires boarding school where Emma now teaches—it takes on a brand new life. There's plenty of distrust and lingering animosity, but as circumstances force them to find a way to not only coexist, but work together, Emma and Campbell find that being on the same team isn't as awful as they'd feared.
By: MJ Duncan
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Something in the Water
- By: MJ Duncan
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 15 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Professor Kate Walker is a tenured, world-renowned engineer. She has a job she loves, a daughter she adores, and friends who've been with her through thick and thin. It's a fulfilling life that doesn't really need anything—or anyone—else. Especially not a charming, downright amazing woman who happens to be twenty years her junior.
By: MJ Duncan
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Unveiled
- A Wedding Planner's Lesbian Romance
- By: Jamie Quinn
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Unveiling: A Tale of Love and Liberation The wedding planner has more ideas than just a wedding. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ By Elara Moonstone From the moment I stepped into the pages of this enchanting tale, its ethereal beauty swept me away. The landscape is painted with such vivid detail that I could almost feel the cool mist of the enchanted forest on my skin and hear the whispering winds carrying secrets through the ancient trees. The characters are as captivating as the world they inhabit; their emotions are raw and real, drawing me into their lives and leaving me yearning for ...
By: Jamie Quinn
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If It's Meant to Be
- Meant to Be, Book 1
- By: Skye Von Triessen
- Narrated by: Quinn Riley, Charlie L. Wood
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story5 out of 5 stars 52
Dr. Alexandra Edison lives a life that many would be envious of. A beautiful world-famous fiancée, more money than she could spend, and a career that she loved. To honor her grandfather's wishes, she moved from L.A. to Seattle to take over one of her family's hospitals. When her perfect life fell apart, the last person she expected to be there to help her pick up the pieces was Dr. Blake Westmore. The woman who was cold and indifferent towards her since the day they met. But one touch from Blake made Alexandra question everything she knew about her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The relationship between the two main characters was intense and heartfelt.
- By Arlene on 03-25-25
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Remnants
- By: DJ Krimmer
- Narrated by: Rose Dioro, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8
On the surface, my life is a flawless performance. I stay home, keep the house spotless, and play the role of the devoted wife. It doesn’t matter that behind the curtains, the truth is darker than anyone could imagine. I’ve mastered the art of concealing the bruises, spinning lies to explain the tears, and burying the horrors of what happened behind closed doors. Until her.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Short Story. Heavy Impact.
- By Lettys Library on 06-15-25
By: DJ Krimmer
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Learning Curves
- By: Rachel Lacey
- Narrated by: Quinn Riley
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
For Audrey Lind, working with clay still evokes memories of her favorite professor. The woman’s zeal for art history ignited Audrey’s own academic career—and her tweed blazers and British accent kindled her first female crush. After fate brings Audrey back to Northshire University to teach, she’s thrilled to be working alongside her former mentor, but the grumpy woman she encounters upon her return is nothing like the dynamo she remembers.
By: Rachel Lacey
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Something New
- By: Jacqueline Ramsden
- Narrated by: Allie Shae
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Thea Cooper is heading to her sister's wedding in Montana for Christmas. The problem is that her ex is going to be there, and her mother is hoping they'll rekindle their romance. All Thea wants is to enjoy the lodge, the holiday, and celebrate her sister. Erin Foxglove, wedding planner extraordinaire, is giving up her Christmas to work the Cooper-Perez wedding. Despite her best friend's hopes that she'll at least reward herself with a fun little fling while she's away, Erin isn't interested. She's there to do a job, and she has her rules about not sleeping with clients.
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The Devil She Knows
- By: Alexandria Bellefleur
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Samantha Cooper is having a day from hell. In less than 24 hours, her life has unraveled, leaving her single and with nowhere to live. Adding insult to injury, she’s trapped in an elevator with a gorgeous woman claiming to be a demon. Daphne is not at all what Samantha expected from someone claiming to be an evil supernatural entity. She’s pretty, witty, dressed in pink, and smells nice. And she’s here to offer Samantha a deal she can’t refuse. Six wishes in exchange for one tiny trade—Samantha’s soul.
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Flipping Hearts and Homes
- By: Chris Zett
- Narrated by: Anastasia Watley
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Handywoman Rowan is rooted in her small-town community, accepting every odd job to keep her family's hardware store afloat. When she inherits an old house, it's the perfect opportunity to flip it to pay off her mom's debt. She never intends to get tangled up with beautiful, adorably nerdy Maia, a visiting big-city radiologist, staying at her aunts' place to mend a broken heart.
By: Chris Zett
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Guarding Her Gangster Girl
- The Colombo Family Duet, Book 1
- By: Persephone Black
- Narrated by: Mara Vincent, Ada Sinclair
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 36
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Story5 out of 5 stars 36
The last thing I thought I'd be doing in Vegas was protecting some wannabe gangster girl. But as a rising star in the Consortium, an elite arms-trading organization, I do what I'm told. That's how I find myself gifted as a bodyguard to Brie "Breezy" Colombo, widow of a powerful Mafia Don, after someone takes a shot at her. Everyone knows she's just a gold-digging trophy wife, her grief as fake as her long blonde hair, her perfect smile, and her… Well, maybe they're real.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent!!
- By Rabid Reader on 04-27-25
By: Persephone Black
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Bed and Breakup
- A Novel
- By: Susie Dumond
- Narrated by: Kimberly M. Wetherell, Jeremy Carlisle Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
As newlyweds, Molly and Robin made the Hummingbird Inn into a trendy destination for queer travelers in the quirky mountain town of Eureka Springs, Arkansas. But when their career ambitions drove them apart, the young couple separated, handed over the property’s upkeep to a management firm, and never looked back. Seven years later, Molly and Robin return to the Hummingbird Inn for very different reasons. Molly is an artist on the rise who’s been commissioned to create pieces in Eureka Springs; Robin is a celebrity chef whose restaurants have gone belly-up.
By: Susie Dumond
Absolute perfection!
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