I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself Audiobook By Marisa Crane cover art

I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself

A Novel

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I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself

By: Marisa Crane
Narrated by: Bailey Carr
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About this listen

Dept. of Speculation meets Black Mirror in this lyrical, speculative debut about a queer mother raising her daughter in an unjust surveillance state

In a United States not so unlike our own, the Department of Balance has adopted a radical new form of law enforcement: rather than incarceration, wrongdoers are given a second (and sometimes, third, fourth, and fifth) shadow as a reminder of their crime—and a warning to those they encounter. Within the Department, corruption and prejudice run rampant, giving rise to an underclass of so-called Shadesters who are disenfranchised, publicly shamed, and deprived of civil rights protections.

Kris is a Shadester and a new mother to a baby born with a second shadow of her own. Grieving the loss of her wife and thoroughly unprepared for the reality of raising a child alone, Kris teeters on the edge of collapse, fumbling in a daze of alcohol, shame, and self-loathing. Yet as the kid grows, Kris finds her footing, raising a child whose irrepressible spark cannot be dampened by the harsh realities of the world. She can’t forget her wife, but with time, she can make a new life for herself and the kid, supported by a community of fellow misfits who defy the Department to lift one another up in solidarity and hope.

With a first-person register reminiscent of the fierce self-disclosure of Sheila Heti and the poetic precision of Ocean Vuong, I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself is a bold debut novel that examines the long shadow of grief, the hard work of parenting, and the power of queer resistance.

©2023 Marisa Crane (P)2023 Blackstone Publishing
Dystopian Fiction Literature & Fiction Post-Apocalyptic Science Fiction Emotionally Gripping Heartfelt Scary Marriage

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Editorial Review

Your past follows you
The premise alone of this debut novel sets my nerves on fire: a society where those who have committed crimes are sentenced to a second shadow—a looming reminder of their misdeeds. Marisa Crane’s poetic prose is sharp and sardonic, and it elevates this dystopian vision into a meditation on grief, parenthood, queerness, and justice. As a new(ish) parent who could not have survived those first few months without a partner, I was shaken; as a person living in an always-connected world, I was terrified; and as a listener, I was captivated. —Sam D., Audible Editor