Hunt, Gather, Parent

What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans

By: Michaeleen Doucleff

Narrated by: Michaeleen Doucleff

New York Times Best Seller

The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?

“Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids.” (Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review)

When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do - and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop - it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.

©2021 Michaeleen Doucleff. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Critic reviews

"NPR reporter Michaeleen Doucleff narrates this audiobook - part memoir and part guide on contemporary parenting. She is honest, clear, and thoughtful as she presents a wide range of research on parenting theories from many cultures. For those seeking new ways to connect with or better understand their children, this will be a welcome listen. Doucleff creates the feeling she is in your kitchen, swapping stories and wisdom of the ages. This title is easy on the ears, and the chapters go by swiftly. For an author turned narrator, she is very confident as she presents ideas from diverse sources. From the Inuit to city dwellers, Doucleff informs as she entertains, regaling us with advice of how to keep the peace." (AudioFile Magazine)

Hands down my favorite parenting book

Though it does reference some of my other favorites!
This book really appealed to me as an attachment parenting style babywearing cosleeping mom, who chose to do things differently from western culture during the baby phase because it just didn't feel right or natural to me. I feel like Western society has strayed far from our natural state in so many ways! Thank goodness that I lived in a time where I could find online resources about how other cultures managed the needs of their babies. But then, I ran into trouble once my babies weren't babies anymore!!! What was the most natural, intuitive way to parent toddlers and bigger kids? Certainly not the way I was raised! I was so lost, and struggled to discern deeply ingrained but unhealthy methods of parenting from my own childhood and the more appropriate methods I thought should have come naturally to me, but which I struggled to manifest. Then, enter this book. Just as it was with babywearing and cosleeping, everything rings true to my little parent heart. It feels right. Thank you for this guide! ❤

Life-changing

This book has changed the way I parent. I have realized I don’t have to be my child’s adversary. I highly recommend it to everyone!

Interesting Point of View

Entertaining story and point of view. My daughter is too young to use these concepts but it definitely changed the way I think about interacting with her. I think this speaks to our culture as a whole being unhealthy, which unfortunately we can't always change.

Foundational parenting book

I am blown away by how much this book is changing my parenting style. I see myself becoming calmer, more accepting, and grateful for the effort, curiosity, and kindness I can now see in my kids. I am now aware of when they make mistakes or avoid doing something because they don’t know something, or don’t have the skill. This book has been transformative.

Inspiring new perspective

didn't love the pushing to be a "big girl" but everything else was spot on & helpful

Thank you, Michaeleen and Rosy!!!

I finally have a parenting resource that teaches me strategies of leaving my childhood of yelling behind and to raise my children in a calm, helpful, and kind environment. This will take practice to put into action because I struggle controlling my emotions, but it has provided hope. I wish I would have had this when my children were Rosy's age. One suggestion that I and my fellow parent friends would LOVE is printed talking points or the sentence starters with the chapter summaries. How awesome would it be to have a quick resource that I could read over each day?! I purchased the book in order to make my own resource like this. Again, thank you from my family!

Excellent book!

I loved listening to this. It reminded me of how my mom raised me and how important it is to let go of control. Wonderfully narrated as well.

A must Read/Listen for all parents

I absolutely loved this book. Before even finishing the audio book, I started implementing some of the techniques with my daughter and we’re still learning, but it has definitely helped diffuse those epic meltdowns and has made them less frequent which is a success for any 2 year old. I even bought the print version as well so I could refer back to it more easily. This is a must read/listen for any parent!

Must listen!

Oh I loved this book! The authors voice was very soothing and kind. The information is useful immediately. I have listened to it three times in a row now! Upon implementing some of the ideas my Five year old daughter and I have become even more compatible!

Highly Recommend!!!

I absolutely loved everything about this book! I feel there are several concepts discussed everyone that has children should try to implement into their parenting and relationships.