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How to Make a Horror Movie and Survive
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Garrett Michael Brown
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
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Publisher's summary
From Bram Stoker Award‑nominated author Craig DiLouie comes a darkly humorous horror novel that sees a famous 80s slasher director set out to shoot the most terrifying horror movie ever made using an occult camera that might be (and probably is) demonic.
Horror isn't horror unless it's real.
Max Maurey should be on top of the world. He's a famous horror director. Actors love him. Hollywood needs him. He's making money hand over fist. But it's the 80s, and he's directing cheap slashers for audiences who only crave more blood, not real art. Not real horror. And Max's slimy producer refuses to fund any of his new ideas.
Sally Priest dreams of being the Final Girl. She knows she's got what it takes to score the lead role, even if she's only been cast in small parts so far. When Sally meets Max at his latest wrap party, she sets out to impress him and prove her scream queen prowess.
But when Max discovers an old camera that filmed a very real Hollywood horror, he knows that he has to use this camera for his next movie. The only problem is that it came with a cryptic warning and sometimes wails.
By the time Max discovers the true evil lying within, he's already dead set on finishing the scariest movie ever put to film, and like it or not, it's Sally's time to shine as the Final Girl.
Critic reviews
"Gory, glorious, and just a little too believable, Craig DiLouie’s latest is a slick meta slasher movie in book form, set in the brutal intersection of art and obsession."—Peter Clines, New York Times bestselling author
“How to Make a Horror Movie and Survive is a blood-spattered homage to horror films, an ode to the craft of filmmaking, and a cautionary tale about the fiery—often destructive—creative passion inside every artist, one that continuously teeters on the brink of insanity. DiLouie has created a celluloid cursed object story that John Carpenter himself would stand up and applaud from the front row.”—Philip Fracassi, author of Boys in the Valley
“A tricky, twisty book with more levels to it than a slasher movie has sequels. DiLouie knows what makes the horror genre tick.”—David Moody, author of the Hater and Autumn series
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- By TerriSweeta on 06-30-24
By: Paige Cowan-Hall
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Liar
- By: K. L. Slater
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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How far would you go to protect your family? Single dad Ben is doing his best to raise his children, with the help of his devoted mother, Judi. And then Ben meets Amber. Everyone thinks this is a perfect match for Ben, but Judi isn't so sure.... There's just something about Amber that doesn't add up. Ben can't see why his mother dislikes his new girlfriend. And Amber doesn't want Judi anywhere near her new family. Amber just wants Ben and the children.
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Loved It!
- By TC on 07-03-17
By: K. L. Slater
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The Dirty Ones
- By: JA Huss
- Narrated by: Savannah Peachwood, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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They said write what you know so that's what I did. I wrote dirty, I wrote erotic, I wrote the truth. And then they called me a liar. But it's not me who's lying, it's them. Our story isn't for everyone. It's not even for us. So if you're looking for the fairy tale and the stupid prince on his dumb white horse, move along. You've got a hold of the wrong book. This is not your story, this is not your life, and this is not your opportunity to dip your frightened little toe into the dark pool of water and "try new things" and then pull it out and decide... #NotForMe.
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The Truth, Best book I have read in years! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- By ♥️🎧♥️***M.R.S.***♥️🎧♥️ on 02-20-19
By: JA Huss
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Dracula [Audible Edition]
- By: Bram Stoker
- Narrated by: Alan Cumming, Tim Curry, Simon Vance, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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The modern audience hasn't had a chance to truly appreciate the unknowing dread that readers would have felt when reading Bram Stoker's original 1897 manuscript. Most modern productions employ campiness or sound effects to try to bring back that gothic tension, but we've tried something different. By returning to Stoker's original storytelling structure - a series of letters and journal entries voiced by Jonathan Harker, Dr. Van Helsing, and other characters - with an all-star cast of narrators, we've sought to recapture its originally intended horror and power.
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IS THAT NOT SO?
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-05-15
By: Bram Stoker
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The Jane Austen Collection
- An Audible Original Drama
- By: Jane Austen
- Narrated by: Claire Foy, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Billie Piper, and others
- Length: 45 hrs
- Unabridged
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Renowned as much for her wit and satirical social commentary as for her stories of love and romance, Jane Austen remains unfailingly relevant and one of Britain’s best loved authors. In this Audible Original collection, an all-star list of narrators (Billie Piper, Claire Foy, Emma Thompson, Florence Pugh and Gugu Mbatha-Raw) capture Austen’s pin-sharp humour and tone in these dramatisations of her six beloved novels accompanied by a full cast.
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Not a faithful rendition
- By Anne McClain on 12-13-20
By: Jane Austen
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Dietrich
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s the summer of ’77 in New York City, and the only thing more unnerving than the scorching heatwave is the rampant murder, leaving washed-up homicide detective Richard Dietrich on edge. When Dietrich investigates a brutal mob hit the brass doesn’t want him to solve, he goes from phoning it in to getting in over his head. Caught up in a mysterious second homicide with an even more perplexing perpetrator, Dietrich starts to second guess his instincts—and his memory—as he searches for answers at the bottom of a bottle.
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Very good!
- By Kathleen on 04-17-24
By: Don Winslow
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All the Ugly and Wonderful Things
- A Novel
- By: Bryn Greenwood
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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As the daughter of a drug dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. It's safer to keep her mouth shut and stay out of sight. Struggling to raise her little brother, Donal, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible adult around. Obsessed with the constellations, she finds peace in the starry night sky above the fields behind her house until one night her stargazing causes an accident. After witnessing his motorcycle wreck, she forms an unusual friendship with one of her father's thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold.
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So many 'hard to listen to' moments
- By jksullycats on 12-27-16
By: Bryn Greenwood
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Love Seven Rabbits
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Great performance. Good story. Predictable ending.
- By The Great and Powerful OZ on 05-22-24
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In June 1993, a group of young guerilla filmmakers spent four weeks making Horror Movie, a notorious, disturbing art-house horror flick. The weird part? Only three of the film’s scenes were ever released to the public, but Horror Movie has nevertheless grown a rabid fanbase. Three decades later, Hollywood is pushing for a big budget reboot. The man who played “The Thin Kid” is the only surviving cast member. He remembers all too well the secrets buried within the original screenplay, the bizarre events of the filming, and the dangerous crossed lines on set that resulted in tragedy.
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My first return to audible
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Kate Nolan is a successful magazine editor with a loving husband, James, and a five-year-old son, Max. Her life couldn't be more perfect...but one day she receives a phone call from James, which changes everything. Clearly distressed, James tells Kate to meet him at midnight outside the beach café once owned by her long-dead grandmother in the seaside town of Seahaven, where they both grew up. A strange request, made even more sinister by the fact that in recent weeks Seahaven has become prey to a serial killer who is targeting the local children.
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Love Seven Rabbits
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Great performance. Good story. Predictable ending.
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My first return to audible
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We Used to Live Here
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As a young, queer couple who flip houses, Charlie and Eve can’t believe the killer deal they’ve just gotten on an old house in a picturesque neighborhood. As they’re working in the house one day, there’s a knock on the door. A man stands there with his family, claiming to have lived there years before and asking if it would be alright if he showed his kids around. People pleaser to a fault, Eve lets them in. As soon as the strangers enter their home, uncanny and inexplicable things start happening.
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Please write more books!
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To eight-year-old Bela, her family is her world. There’s Mommy, Daddo, and Grandma Ruth. But there is also Other Mommy, a malevolent entity who asks her every day: “Can I go inside your heart?” When horrifying incidents around the house signal that Other Mommy is growing tired of asking Bela the question over and over, Bela understands that unless she says yes, her family will soon pay. Other Mommy is getting restless, stronger, bolder. Only the bonds of family can keep Bela safe, but other incidents show cracks in her parents’ marriage. The safety Bela relies on is about to unravel.
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good narrator
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The Girl Who Played with the Ouija Board
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Being the daughter of a successful porn star is fun, but then a car accident takes her mother from her and forces Penny to move in with her estranged aunt whose life seems to revolve around the church. Fortunately, Penny’s cousin Olivia has a secret side her fanatical mother doesn’t know about, one that sees the two attending parties rife with sex, booze, and drugs. Unfortunately, one of those parties also has a Ouija board.
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I Was a Teenage Slasher
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1989, Lamesa, Texas. A small west Texas town driven by oil and cotton—and a place where everyone knows everyone else’s business. So it goes for Tolly Driver, a good kid with more potential than application, seventeen, and about to be cursed to kill for revenge. Here Stephen Graham Jones explores the Texas he grew up in, the unfairness of being on the outside, through the slasher horror he lives but from the perspective of the killer, Tolly, writing his own autobiography. Find yourself rooting for a killer in this summer teen movie of a novel gone full blood-curdling tragic.
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Small Town Horror
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Andrew Larimer has left his past behind. Rising up the ranks in a New York law firm, and with a heavily pregnant wife, he is settling into a new life far from Kingsport, the town in which he grew up. But when he receives a late-night phone call from an old friend, he has no choice but to return home.
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Great story
- By Anonymous User on 06-11-24
By: Ronald Malfi
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Mumma's House
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The house belongs to them now. To provide for her son, June would sacrifice anything. She would live in fear every day and shield her son from it. She would stay, tormented, to hang onto his inheritance. This year, something is different. Forces in the family are conspiring. June is going to have to step forward and make a claim on Mumma's House. Over the years, the house has fallen into disrepair, but it is all that is left of the inheritance. So many people have a claim on the house and nobody can agree on what to do. They're locked in a battle to be the last surviving family ...
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Great creepy story-also happily unpredictable
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Craft
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With a singular voice in the narrative-bending tradition of Kafka, Cortázar, and Bulgakov, Lima speaks to Brazilian-American immigrant experiences—of ambition, fear, heartbreak, and home—with equal parts warmth and agitation. Strange, intimate, haunted, and hungry, Craft: Stories I Wrote for the Devil is a powerful experience: once listened to, you’re as much a part of the stories as they’re a part of you.
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Fantastic Narration
- By maria on 06-24-24
By: Ananda Lima
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Before You Sleep
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- By: Adam Nevill
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- Unabridged
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A trilogy of horror stories from the award-winning writer's first collection of short stories SOME WILL NOT SLEEP and an introduction to the nightmarish visions and ghastly spectres that have been disturbing the sleep of audiences for years. In this book you'll find two ghost stories and a tale of ancestral demoniac horror.
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These three stories are already in his other books I bought -_-
- By Vera King on 06-27-24
By: Adam Nevill
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Episode Thirteen
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Gregory D. Barnett, Sam Slade, Kimberly Bonny, and others
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- Unabridged
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Episode Thirteen takes them to every ghost hunter's holy grail: the Paranormal Research Foundation. This brooding, derelict mansion holds secrets and clues about bizarre experiments that took place there in the 1970s. It's also famously haunted, and the team hopes their scientific techniques and high tech gear will prove it. But as the house begins to reveal itself to them, proof of an afterlife might not be everything Matt dreamed of.
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Its an audio comic, not a book.
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By: Craig DiLouie
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The Cursed Manuscripts: Book 1-3
- Witch, Zombie, Hell Train
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Summer is here and school's out, but boredom quickly sets in for the penniless kids of the Redsow housing estate. If only they had something to do... In an effort to escape a pack of local bullies, best friends, Ashley and Jude, decide to brave Devil's Ditch, a place deep in the woods that everyone says is haunted by something ancient and evil. At first, everything seems fine, but then they discover an old farmhouse covered in weeds. Inside is a naked woman in chains. Her name is Rose, and there's something not quite right about her.
By: Iain Rob Wright
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The Last House
- By: Matthew Speak
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- Unabridged
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You can't move away from your nightmares. After decades of living in a haunted house, Steve and Mara Spain have had enough. Steve’s anxiety-fueled nightmares have increased with each passing year. To find peace, he takes a leave of absence from his law firm to build a home on ten acres of forest near the quaint town of Maquoketa, Iowa. A place to retire—their last house.
By: Matthew Speak
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The Eyes Are the Best Part
- By: Monika Kim
- Narrated by: Jaine Ye
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Ji-won’s life tumbles into disarray in the wake of her Appa’s extramarital affair and subsequent departure. Her mother, distraught. Her younger sister, hurt and confused. Her college freshman grades, failing. Her dreams, horrifying… yet enticing. In them, Ji-won walks through bloody rooms full of eyes. Succulent blue eyes. Salivatingly blue eyes. Eyes the same shape and shade as George’s, who is Umma’s obnoxious new boyfriend.
By: Monika Kim
What listeners say about How to Make a Horror Movie and Survive
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- Kera Marie
- 06-23-24
Making horror both fun and absolutely terrifying
I love this author’s understanding of the horror genre, showcased both here and in his previous
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Overall
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- David Dienberg
- 06-20-24
Fun Story
Never a dull moment. Speed of the story was perfect. Fun 80's Horror/Thriller. Narrator was perfect for this story
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