How to Make a Horror Movie and Survive

A Novel

By: Craig DiLouie

Narrated by: Garrett Michael Brown

From Bram Stoker Award‑nominated author Craig DiLouie comes a darkly humorous horror novel that sees a famous 80s slasher director set out to shoot the most terrifying horror movie ever made using an occult camera that might be (and probably is) demonic.

Horror isn't horror unless it's real.

Max Maurey should be on top of the world. He's a famous horror director. Actors love him. Hollywood needs him. He's making money hand over fist. But it's the 80s, and he's directing cheap slashers for audiences who only crave more blood, not real art. Not real horror. And Max's slimy producer refuses to fund any of his new ideas.

Sally Priest dreams of being the Final Girl. She knows she's got what it takes to score the lead role, even if she's only been cast in small parts so far. When Sally meets Max at his latest wrap party, she sets out to impress him and prove her scream queen prowess.

But when Max discovers an old camera that filmed a very real Hollywood horror, he knows that he has to use this camera for his next movie. The only problem is that it came with a cryptic warning and sometimes wails.

By the time Max discovers the true evil lying within, he's already dead set on finishing the scariest movie ever put to film, and like it or not, it's Sally's time to shine as the Final Girl.

©2024 Craig DiLouie (P)2024 Redhook

Critic reviews

"Gory, glorious, and just a little too believable, Craig DiLouie’s latest is a slick meta slasher movie in book form, set in the brutal intersection of art and obsession."—Peter Clines, New York Times bestselling author

“How to Make a Horror Movie and Survive is a blood-spattered homage to horror films, an ode to the craft of filmmaking, and a cautionary tale about the fiery—often destructive—creative passion inside every artist, one that continuously teeters on the brink of insanity. DiLouie has created a celluloid cursed object story that John Carpenter himself would stand up and applaud from the front row.”—Philip Fracassi, author of Boys in the Valley

“A tricky, twisty book with more levels to it than a slasher movie has sequels. DiLouie knows what makes the horror genre tick.”—David Moody, author of the Hater and Autumn series

Yet again another Craig Dilouie that I wish was a movie!

This was a fun ride and hilarious at times. I feel like it would translate well to the big screen. I recommend to comedy horror lovers!

Sally Priest Is My Jam

This book fully leans in to the vibe of cheesy, 80s horror tropes and I support it. The cast of characters are wacky and fun. The pacing can seem a bit slow at times but that's forgiveable because I'm in on the bit, as this is about an artist melodramatically struggling with his art. Recomment for a fun, quirky ride!

Fun Story

Never a dull moment. Speed of the story was perfect. Fun 80's Horror/Thriller. Narrator was perfect for this story

Surprisingly very good. Highly recommended—5 stars!!!

From the first page—I flew through this awesome book (and wished it was longer)!!! Very entertaining premise, multifaceted characters, lots of horror genre related nformation, plus the surprise ending (not going to give any spoilers)—definitely five stars!!! Don't believe the negative reviews. Highly recommended for horror fans looking for a uniquely new niche in the genre!!!

Book is ok

I think if you’re the kind of person that really, really is interested in knowing all the background stuff that goes with making a movie you’ll enjoy this book. I wish we had more of the story because it was interesting. I enjoyed the narrators performance.

Love the narrator Great job!

It was very cheesy just like a B rated scary movie and I loved it!!

Making horror both fun and absolutely terrifying

I love this author’s understanding of the horror genre, showcased both here and in his previous

The narrator needs to calm down.

I wound up getting the actual book at the library to read because I really couldn't deal with the narrator. He sounds perpetually angry about having to do this job and performs it at a constant shout. The book is a tolerable tim÷e-killer, nothing extraordinary. Not scary, not funny. Not worth the $15 credit. It did prompt me to look up the Arriflex 35BL camera; its remarkable impact on the movie industry and Stanley Kubrick, in particular. THAT was an interesting read.

Movie geek’s dream

This book taught me a lot about the horror genre of movies. I’m a GenXer so the ‘80s slasher pics were part of my adolescence. The story was good but I really had a hard time connecting with the characters. Honestly, much like the movies, I found myself contemplating who would die next much more often than I cared that they would be out of the story (theoretically).

Sooooooo pretentious and boring!

The first two chapters have you intrigued, but then it just fails to deliver anything other than proof the author is familiar with the movie business. 🙄🥱😴