Holy Hurt

Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing

By: Hillary L. McBride PhD

Narrated by: Hillary L. McBride

Too often the institutions and communities that are meant to be the most holy in our lives end up deeply hurting us.

In Holy Hurt, clinical psychologist Hillary L. McBride sends a sincere and profound message: spiritual trauma is real and impacts us all. She also reassures us that we can remake ourselves and heal in its aftermath.

McBride expertly and compassionately shows that acknowledging the impact of spiritual trauma in our lives allows us to begin to repair our wounds individually and collectively, experiencing reconnection with ourselves and others. She draws on clinical research, trauma literature, insightful interviews with experts, and poignant first-person stories of spiritual trauma, ending each chapter with a short practice to begin healing.

McBride empowers those who have lived through spiritual trauma or witnessed it, as well as those who want to develop healthier church environments and prevent abuse.

©2025 Hillary L. McBride (P)2025 Christian Audio

We aren't alone. We aren't crazy. We can be whole.

This book has helped me feel seen and understood and given me a framework for understanding how to heal and move forward. It's taken me a long time to realize that I have spiritual trauma because, for me at least, it wasn't a single event that caused it but rather a constant subjection to terror of eternal torture and belief that I was vile enough that never-ending torment was exactly what I deserved. Having the promise of safety and love constantly dangled in front of me as the reward for being perfect, but being in anguish because I could never seem to achieve that perfection. This book has helped me begin to understand that. The author addresses the various other kinds of religious trauma as well, and I'm grateful that it approaches this topic in a thoughtful and careful way that does not unnecessarily reopen the wounds through overly Christian terminology (which I've experienced in other books on the topic). After listening to several books in this genre, I think this will be my go-to recommendation for anyone else working through questions around spiritual trauma. It is full of compassion tenderness, and hope - just what I've needed as I continue on in my healing journey.

This paragraph really hit me, and gives a taste of what helped me feel seen:

“We criticize others, judging them for their suffering. We attribute their pain to a lack of faith and say that God does too. We celebrate the people who are most disconnected from emotions and vulnerabilities, those who distance themselves from what feels scary and painful, sexually repressed and controlled. We tell the story that they are the most prized by God or the most faithful. We teach people to hate their humanness and praise them, calling it righteous because we believe God hates their humanness too. We offer people chronic guilt, shame, and fear of hell and celebrate them as signs of spiritual maturity. We stoke in people an inner critic and tell them it's the voice of God.” - Holy Hurt

Safe Message of Healing and Love

An absolutely respectful and beautiful balm for the soul that is safe for all of us who have been forcibly dechurched or harmed deeply by religious teachings.

Dandelion like courage for healing journey

The experience of reading the Holy Hurt felt like seeing and being gifted a dandelion to be held gently, cherished, and gather courage to blow playfully. The book and how it's written with such intention and compassionate care feels like the wind that carries a tiny seed of hope of healing that can be planted and matured to become the full beauty of a wildflower, and what each seed can become in flourishing. And through the journey of reading, I felt so privileged to dare to grab hold of the courage to hope for healing in, with, and through me.

I highly recommend this book to those wounded and those who want to prevent and promote healing of spiritual trauma in our communities, intentionally, Those that may wonder about the adventure of evolving faith journey or those maybe cautious of those reconstructing faith journey- I encourage you to read this as if you would open a collection of love letters and allow yourself to experiencing and being a part of healing painful of our individual and communal spiritual wounds and traumas of different degrees that we may not even be aware of as they may be hidden in generational, cultural, and/familiar legacy. Such beautiful words and ways of the author’s gentle invitation to grab hold of courage to become aware of, grieve, and heal, for we are worthy and lovable through it, that anchors us.

I plan to return to the book again (and again repeatedly!) and enjoy slow steeping through it, the dandelion tea-like company of the book, and the companionship of the author's care.

“May all this be part of our collective healing.” (Holy Hurt, Hillary L. McBride)