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Narrated by:
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Elisabeth Ashby
About this listen
The Menu meets Ready or Not in this dark tale of opulent luxury and shocking violence from the New York Times bestselling author of Bloom.
Thrift fashionista Dez Lane doesn't want to date Patrick Ruskin; she just wants to meet his mother, the editor-in-chief of Nouveau magazine. When he invites her to his family's big Easter reunion at their ancestral home, she's certain she can put up with his arrogance and fend off his advances long enough to ask Marie Caulfield-Ruskin for an internship someone with her pedigree could never nab through the regular submission route.
When they arrive at the enormous island mansion, Dez is floored-she's never witnessed how the 1% lives before in all their ridiculous, unnecessary luxury. But once all the family members are on the island and the ferry has departed, things take a dark turn. For decades, the Ruskins have made their servants sign contracts that are basically indentured servitude, and with nothing to lose, the servants have decided their only route to freedom is to get rid of the Ruskins for good . . .
Contains mature themes.
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A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,951
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,940
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,915
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 285
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Story4 out of 5 stars 278
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,002
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,449
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,193
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,591
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,467
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,464
Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,259
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,662
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,670
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 145
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 142
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 142
He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
-
Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,309
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,880
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,428
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,880
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 15,814
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,189
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,055
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,051
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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3 out of 5 stars
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Fashion-obsessed Samara finally has the life she’s always dreamed of: A high-powered job with legendary designer Antonio Mota. A new home in sunny California, far away from those drab Jersey winters. And an intriguing love interest, Brandon, a wealthy investor in Mota’s fashion line. But it’s not long before Samara’s dream life begins to turn into a living nightmare as Mota’s big fashion show approaches and the pressure on her turns crushing. Perhaps that’s why she begins hearing voices in her room at night.
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Sarita has been watched over by a guardian angel her entire life. She calls him Angelo, and keeps him a secret. But secrets can’t stay buried forever. When Angelo murders someone she loves, Sarita begins to see what's really been lurking in the shadows surrounding her. And she will have to embrace the evil within if she hopes to make it out alive. Johnny Compton, critically acclaimed author of The Spite House and master of dread, takes you on a terrifying race of one woman against the hordes of hell.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Started out OK
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Lily Horne is a drama queen. It's helped her rise to stardom in the school play, but it's also landed her in trouble. Her parents warn her that Florida has to be different. It's a fresh start. No theatrics. But this time, the drama is coming for her. The Hornes' new house is awful. The pool is full of slime; the dock is rotten; and the swamp creeps closer every day. But worst of all, the house isn't empty...it's packed full of trash, memories, and, Lily begins to fear, the ghost of the girl who lived there before her. And whatever is waiting in the shadows wants to come out to play.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun Listen!
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She's Always Hungry
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From Eliza Clark, the author of the brilliant novels Boy Parts and Penance and one of Granta’s Best Young British Novelists, comes a fierce, visionary and darkly comic story collection. A woman welcomes a parasite into her body. A teenager longs for perfect skin. A scientist tends to fragile alien flora. A young man takes the night into his own hands. Unsettling, revelatory, and laced with her signature dark humor, Eliza Clark’s debut short story collection plumbs the depths of that most basic human feeling: hunger.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing Sci-fi Horror and Other Creepy Tales
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By: Eliza Clark
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The Night Guest
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
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Story4 out of 5 stars 60
Iðunn is in yet another doctor's office. She knows her constant fatigue is a sign that something's not right, but practitioners dismiss her symptoms and blood tests haven't revealed any cause. When she talks to friends and family about it, the refrain is the same—have you tried eating better? exercising more? establishing a nighttime routine? She tries to follow their advice, buying everything from vitamins to sleeping pills to a step-counting watch. Nothing helps. Until one night Iðunn falls asleep with the watch on, and wakes up to find she’s walked over 40,000 steps in the night.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting & creepy
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By: Hildur Knútsdóttir, and others
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Deadly Animals
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Ava Bonney is a compassionate and studious fourteen-year-old girl with a dark secret: she has an obsessive interest in the macabre. She is fascinated by the rate at which dead animals decompose. The highway she lives by regularly offers up gifts of roadkill, and in the dead of night Ava loves nothing more than to pull her latest discovery into her roadside den and record her findings. One night, she stumbles across the body of her classmate and, fearing that her secret ritual could be revealed, she makes an anonymous call to the police.
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5 out of 5 stars
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“𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.”
- By A.B. | @kindaspooky_reads on 11-15-24
By: Marie Tierney
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Model Home
- A Novel
- By: Rivers Solomon
- Narrated by: Gabby Beans
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 21
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 21
The three Maxwell siblings keep their distance from the lily-white gated enclave outside Dallas where they grew up. When their family moved there, they were the only Black family in the neighborhood. The neighbors acted nice enough, but right away bad things, scary things—the strange and the unexplainable—began to happen in their house. Maybe it was some cosmic trial, a demonic rite of passage into the upper-middle class. Whatever it was, the Maxwells, steered by their formidable mother, stayed put, unwilling to abandon their home, terrors and trauma be damned.
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2 out of 5 stars
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A short and sad story written beautifully
- By Amanda G on 11-06-24
By: Rivers Solomon
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Midnight at the Houdini
- By: Delilah S. Dawson
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16
Life has gone according to plan for Anna—she stays in the background, letting her sister, Emily, shine in the spotlight. But on Emily’s wedding night, Anna learns that her sister is moving away, abandoning her—and all their shared dreams. Devastated, Anna leaves the reception in the middle of a raging storm, taking shelter in a hotel she’s never seen before: the Houdini. The Houdini is a hotel unlike any other, with sumptuous velvet couches, marble tiled floors, secret restaurants, winding passageways, and an undercurrent of magic in the air.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sweet, magical, and delightfully suspenseful
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I'll Be Waiting
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 55
Nicola Laughton never expected to see adulthood, being diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis as a child. Then medical advances let her live into her thirties and she met Anton, who taught her to dream of a future… together. Months after they married, Anton died in a horrible car crash, but lived long enough to utter five words to her, “I’ll be waiting for you.” That final private moment became public when someone from the crash scene took it to the press—the terminally ill woman holding her dying husband as he promised to wait for her on the other side.
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3 out of 5 stars
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thrilling
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By: Kelley Armstrong
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The Violence
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They call it The Violence: a strange epidemic that causes the infected to experience sudden bursts of animalistic rage, with no provocation and no memory of their crimes. While it tears the nation apart, one woman sees something unlikely in the chaos—an opportunity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved e every minute of this book!
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Graveyard Shift
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 71
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 71
Every night, in the college’s ancient cemetery, five people cross paths as they work the late shift: a bartender, a rideshare driver, a hotel receptionist, the steward of the derelict church that looms over them, and the editor-in-chief of the college paper, always in search of a story. One dark October evening in the defunct churchyard, they find a hole that wasn’t there before. A fresh, open grave where no grave should be. But who dug it, and for whom?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Honestly, what was this even about?
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By: M. L. Rio
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The Book of X
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story4 out of 5 stars 21
The Book of X tells the tale of Cassie, a girl born with her stomach twisted in the shape of a knot. From childhood with her parents on the family meat farm, to a desk job in the city, to finally experiencing love, she grapples with her body, men, and society, all the while imagining a softer world than the one she is in. Twining the drama of the everyday - school-age crushes, paying bills, the sickness of parents - with the surreal-rivers of thighs, men for sale, and fields of throats - Cassie's realities alternate to create a blurred, fantastic world of haunting beauty.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Now I feel like I’m tied up in a not
- By Hallie on 09-28-24
By: Sarah Rose Etter
What listeners say about Guillotine
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Meagan
- 11-11-24
One of the best revenge story!
Although the story was short, it was definitely memorable. I almost DNF this, but I glad I didn't. Great voiceover artist and intriguing storytelling of feminine rage and their graphic, gory revenge against their abusers.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Bradley
- 09-27-24
SO FUN AND SURPRISINGLY GORY
Perfectly paced and length. Dawson is an auto buy author for me. So I didn’t read the synopsis and went in completely blind. After the reading the premise Ready or Not is an apt comparison.
At the beginning it was an okay infiltrate the rich type story but when things turned violent I was locked in. Highly recommend
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1 person found this helpful