F**ker, The Christmas Mouse
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Prime members: New to Audible?Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
F**ker, The Christmas Mouse
Buy for $3.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Deanna Henson
-
By:
-
Paula Landry
About this listen
The story of a starry-eyed performer who dreams of performing with the Rockettes, F--ker, The Christmas Mouse, is a heart-warming and ludicrous tale of holiday dreams come true....
©2018 Paula Landry (P)2018 Paula LandryListeners also enjoyed...
-
Wax
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Erin Spencer
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 27
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
Paraffin, Vermont, is home to the Grosholtz Candle Factory. There, 17-year-old Poppy finds something dark and unsettling: a room filled with dozens of startlingly lifelike wax sculptures. Later, she's shocked when one of the figures - a teenage boy who doesn't seem to know what he is - jumps naked and screaming out of the trunk of her car. Poppy wants to return him to the factory, but before she can, a fire destroys the mysterious workshop.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Great story
- By swyrlgirl on 11-01-24
By: Gina Damico
-
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 289
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 254
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 251
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night, Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
No Kirby means No Fred
- By Rubin S. Bashir on 01-04-21
By: Drew Hayes
-
Revolver
- By: Michael Patrick Hicks
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 29
Cara Stone is a broken woman: penniless, homeless, and hopeless. When given the chance to appear on television, she jumps at the opportunity to win a minimum of $5,000 for her family.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Wow.
- By Natalie @ ABookLoversLife on 06-10-19
-
The Music and the Mirror
- By: Lola Keeley
- Narrated by: Abigail Rakocy
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 144
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 131
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 131
Anna is the newest member of an elite ballet company. Her first class with her mysterious idol Victoria almost ruins her career before it starts. When she shows she might be a potential star, Victoria chooses Anna to launch a new season around. Now Anna must face down jealousy, sabotage, and injury, not to mention navigate the circus of friends and lovers within the company. The pressure builds as she knows she must pour everything she has into opening night and prove to her rivals and herself that Victoria’s faith in her is not misplaced.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Wow
- By Liv on 02-15-19
By: Lola Keeley
-
I Love You, Beth Cooper
- By: Larry Doyle
- Narrated by: Paul Rust
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates and their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you, Beth Cooper." It would have been such a sweet, romantic moment. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely even the same species.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
wonderful book
- By jennifer Northcutt on 09-30-10
By: Larry Doyle
-
Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion
- By: Jenny T. Colgan
- Narrated by: Camille Coduri
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 38
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Camille Coduri reads this brand new novelisation of the Tenth Doctor’s first adventure. Earth is under attack by power-hungry aliens. This is no time for the Doctor to be out of action. When a British space probe is intercepted by a sinister alien vessel on the eve of Christmas, it marks the beginning of an audacious invasion of the Earth by the Sycorax - horrifying marauders from beyond the stars. Within hours, a third of humanity stands on the brink of death with not a single shot fired.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Doctor Who
- By Shannon Burns on 03-25-24
By: Jenny T. Colgan
-
Wax
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Erin Spencer
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 27
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
Paraffin, Vermont, is home to the Grosholtz Candle Factory. There, 17-year-old Poppy finds something dark and unsettling: a room filled with dozens of startlingly lifelike wax sculptures. Later, she's shocked when one of the figures - a teenage boy who doesn't seem to know what he is - jumps naked and screaming out of the trunk of her car. Poppy wants to return him to the factory, but before she can, a fire destroys the mysterious workshop.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Great story
- By swyrlgirl on 11-01-24
By: Gina Damico
-
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 289
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 254
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 251
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night, Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
No Kirby means No Fred
- By Rubin S. Bashir on 01-04-21
By: Drew Hayes
-
Revolver
- By: Michael Patrick Hicks
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 29
Cara Stone is a broken woman: penniless, homeless, and hopeless. When given the chance to appear on television, she jumps at the opportunity to win a minimum of $5,000 for her family.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Wow.
- By Natalie @ ABookLoversLife on 06-10-19
-
The Music and the Mirror
- By: Lola Keeley
- Narrated by: Abigail Rakocy
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 144
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 131
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 131
Anna is the newest member of an elite ballet company. Her first class with her mysterious idol Victoria almost ruins her career before it starts. When she shows she might be a potential star, Victoria chooses Anna to launch a new season around. Now Anna must face down jealousy, sabotage, and injury, not to mention navigate the circus of friends and lovers within the company. The pressure builds as she knows she must pour everything she has into opening night and prove to her rivals and herself that Victoria’s faith in her is not misplaced.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Wow
- By Liv on 02-15-19
By: Lola Keeley
-
I Love You, Beth Cooper
- By: Larry Doyle
- Narrated by: Paul Rust
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates and their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you, Beth Cooper." It would have been such a sweet, romantic moment. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely even the same species.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
wonderful book
- By jennifer Northcutt on 09-30-10
By: Larry Doyle
-
Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion
- By: Jenny T. Colgan
- Narrated by: Camille Coduri
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 38
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Camille Coduri reads this brand new novelisation of the Tenth Doctor’s first adventure. Earth is under attack by power-hungry aliens. This is no time for the Doctor to be out of action. When a British space probe is intercepted by a sinister alien vessel on the eve of Christmas, it marks the beginning of an audacious invasion of the Earth by the Sycorax - horrifying marauders from beyond the stars. Within hours, a third of humanity stands on the brink of death with not a single shot fired.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Doctor Who
- By Shannon Burns on 03-25-24
By: Jenny T. Colgan
-
New Arcadia: Stage One
- By: Eric Jason Martin
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin, Matthew Mercer, Erika Ishii, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 959
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 890
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 889
In a not-so-distant future, a deadly pandemic has forced the world into social isolation. Confined to their homes, millions now survive off drone-delivered food packages and online-only interactions. It’s an especially lonely life for John Chambers, a drone shipment coordinator for the monolithic Chum Corporation. Trapped in his dead-end job and having just turned 40, John’s started spending more time grinding in virtual reality MMORPGs than he does grinding for his real-world job--and that hasn’t gone unnoticed by human resources!
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Derivative
- By T. Bailey on 03-03-21
-
Hellhole
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Macleod Andrews
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 556
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 516
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 518
There was a time when geeky, squeaky-clean Max Kilgore would never lie or steal or even think about murder. Then he accidentally unearths a devil, and Max's choices are no longer his own. The big red guy has a penchant for couch surfing and junk food - and you should never underestimate evil on a sugar high.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
What you would expect from Gina Damico
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-03-15
By: Gina Damico
-
Love & Luck
- By: Jenna Evans Welch
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 353
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 316
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 317
Addie is visiting Ireland for her aunt’s over-the-top destination wedding and hoping she can stop thinking about the one horrible thing she did that left her miserable and heartbroken - and threatens her future. But her brother, Ian, isn’t about to let her forget, and his constant needling leads to arguments and even a fistfight between the two once inseparable siblings. Miserable, Addie can’t wait to visit her friend in Italy and leave her brother - and her problems - behind.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Welch broke my listening rut
- By Katie - Audible on 05-08-18
-
Freak Show
- By: James St. James
- Narrated by: Ben Estus, Suzanne Toren, Tracey Petrillo, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
Meet Billy Bloom, new student at the ultra-white, ultra-rich, ultra-conservative Dwight D. Eisenhower Academy and drag queen extraordinaire. Actually, "drag queen" does not begin to describe Billy and his fabulousness. Any way you slice it, Billy is not a typical 17-year-old, and the Bible Belles, Aberzombies, and Football Heroes at the academy have never seen anyone quite like him before.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Love it
- By Amanda L on 10-31-22
By: James St. James
-
Summon the Keeper
- Keeper's Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Tanya Huff
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 14 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 147
Claire Hansen was a Keeper, a member of that select group that kept the universe in one piece. And now she'd been Summoned to the Elysian Fields Guesthouse, a rundown bed-and-breakfast that seemed to attract the most unusual clientele. And Claire was not happy about this latest assignment, not happy at all. Not when she'd been tricked into taking over here by a horrible little gnome of a man who'd abandoned his post before she'd even figured out who he really was. Not when room six held a resident who'd been sleeping there for so many years that she really needed a good dusting - except that it was far too dangerous for anyone to get that close to her.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
The Narrator does not fit the writing style
- By Alicia C Loughnane on 09-11-18
By: Tanya Huff
-
Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,988
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,828
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,827
The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
-
Fat Kid Rules the World
- By: K. L. Going
- Narrated by: Matthew Lillard
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 55
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 55
Troy Billings, at six-foot-one, 296 pounds, is standing at the edge of a subway platform, seriously contemplating suicide, when he meets Curt MacCrae - and emaciated, semi-homeless punk guitar genius who also happens to be a dropout legend at Troy's high school on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
One of my fav audio book
- By James on 05-19-23
By: K. L. Going
-
A Fistful of Evil
- A Madison Fox Adventure, Book 1
- By: Rebecca Chastain
- Narrated by: Elise Arsenault
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 52
Madison Fox just learned her ability to see souls is more than a sight: It's a weapon for fighting evil. The only problem is she doesn't have a clue what she's doing. On the positive side, her money problems are over, and her coworker is smoking hot. On the negative side, evil creatures now actively hunt her, and deadly experiences are becoming the norm. When she thinks it couldn't get worse, a powerful evil sets up shop at a local hotel's video game convention, and it's got its eye on more than the gaming geeks - it's hungry for Madison's soul.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Reasonably entertaining
- By Valerie on 12-15-18
By: Rebecca Chastain
-
Ballerina
- A Novel
- By: Edward Stewart
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 20 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 37
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 34
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
Stephanie Lang and Christine Avery meet in ballet school. Although they share the same dream - to become great dancers - they could not be more different. Ballet is in Stephanie’s blood; her mother, Anna, is a former dancer who lives to see her daughter achieve the fame she herself never attained. Christine has lived a sheltered life, secure in the love of her family. But her privileged upbringing conceals a devastating secret.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Have loved this book for years...
- By AProlificReader on 04-05-14
By: Edward Stewart
-
The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 93
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
-
Last Dance on the Starlight Pier
- A Novel
- By: Sarah Bird
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 88
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
July 3. 1932. Shivering and in shock, Evie Grace Devlin watches the Starlite Palace burn into the sea and wonders how she became a person who would cause a man to kill himself. She’d come to Galveston to escape a dark past in vaudeville and become a good person, a nurse. When that dream is cruelly thwarted, Evie is swept into the alien world of dance marathons. All that she has been denied- a family, a purpose, even love - waits for her there in the place she dreads most: the spotlight.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Great read and history
- By Stella Macy on 06-18-23
By: Sarah Bird
-
Carpe DiEmily
- A Romantic Comedy Adventure, Parts 1 & 2
- By: Riley J. Ford
- Narrated by: Gillian Vance
- Length: 13 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 49
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 49
Emily Keane has her life all planned out. She's played by the rules and never stepped outside her box, and now she will finally be rewarded with everything she always dreamed of: a job promotion, a fiancé, and a future she can count on. But when her perfectly planned world falls apart, Emily is plunged into the wildest year of her life. From the beaches of California to Jamaica, New York, and Europe, Emily finds herself on a madcap race against time, running from an unscrupulous organ broker who wants her dead, all the while checking items off her unusual bucket list.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Carpe Liber!
- By Melissa C. Douthit on 10-27-13
By: Riley J. Ford
Related to this topic
-
The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 93
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
-
Coco
- A Story About Music, Shoes, and Family
- By: Diana López
- Narrated by: Frankie Maria Corzo
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 44
Inspired by Pixar Animation Studios' latest film, Coco, this middle grade novel will retell the story of the film as well as feature original content expanding upon its rich, vibrant world and characters.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Such a beautiful story!
- By Mishi A on 02-20-18
By: Diana López
-
Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 186
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 136
Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
-
Sin du Jour: The First Course
- By: Matt Wallace
- Narrated by: Corey Gagne
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Everyone loves a well-catered event, and the supernatural community is no exception. Enter Sin du Jour, the expert caterers to demons, goblins, faeries, and everything in between. In their first month on the job, Lena Tarr and Darren Vargas, the newest line chefs at the supernatural catering agency, have had to approximate angel meat, evade amorous lizards, and provide craft sacrifices for a Hollywood debut. Their coworkers have contended with zombified clowns, fought off the Easter Bunny's hit squad, and captured a golden fish for a goblin royal wedding.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Pure, well-written, well-produced fun
- By The Original One Girl Revolution on 08-26-18
By: Matt Wallace
-
Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,988
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,828
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,827
The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
-
Summon the Keeper
- Keeper's Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Tanya Huff
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 14 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 147
Claire Hansen was a Keeper, a member of that select group that kept the universe in one piece. And now she'd been Summoned to the Elysian Fields Guesthouse, a rundown bed-and-breakfast that seemed to attract the most unusual clientele. And Claire was not happy about this latest assignment, not happy at all. Not when she'd been tricked into taking over here by a horrible little gnome of a man who'd abandoned his post before she'd even figured out who he really was. Not when room six held a resident who'd been sleeping there for so many years that she really needed a good dusting - except that it was far too dangerous for anyone to get that close to her.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
The Narrator does not fit the writing style
- By Alicia C Loughnane on 09-11-18
By: Tanya Huff
-
The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 93
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
-
Coco
- A Story About Music, Shoes, and Family
- By: Diana López
- Narrated by: Frankie Maria Corzo
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 44
Inspired by Pixar Animation Studios' latest film, Coco, this middle grade novel will retell the story of the film as well as feature original content expanding upon its rich, vibrant world and characters.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Such a beautiful story!
- By Mishi A on 02-20-18
By: Diana López
-
Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 186
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 136
Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
-
Sin du Jour: The First Course
- By: Matt Wallace
- Narrated by: Corey Gagne
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Everyone loves a well-catered event, and the supernatural community is no exception. Enter Sin du Jour, the expert caterers to demons, goblins, faeries, and everything in between. In their first month on the job, Lena Tarr and Darren Vargas, the newest line chefs at the supernatural catering agency, have had to approximate angel meat, evade amorous lizards, and provide craft sacrifices for a Hollywood debut. Their coworkers have contended with zombified clowns, fought off the Easter Bunny's hit squad, and captured a golden fish for a goblin royal wedding.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Pure, well-written, well-produced fun
- By The Original One Girl Revolution on 08-26-18
By: Matt Wallace
-
Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,988
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,828
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,827
The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
-
Summon the Keeper
- Keeper's Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Tanya Huff
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 14 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 147
Claire Hansen was a Keeper, a member of that select group that kept the universe in one piece. And now she'd been Summoned to the Elysian Fields Guesthouse, a rundown bed-and-breakfast that seemed to attract the most unusual clientele. And Claire was not happy about this latest assignment, not happy at all. Not when she'd been tricked into taking over here by a horrible little gnome of a man who'd abandoned his post before she'd even figured out who he really was. Not when room six held a resident who'd been sleeping there for so many years that she really needed a good dusting - except that it was far too dangerous for anyone to get that close to her.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
The Narrator does not fit the writing style
- By Alicia C Loughnane on 09-11-18
By: Tanya Huff
-
Knock Out
- Worth the Fight
- By: Michele Mannon
- Narrated by: Rachel Fulginiti
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 145
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 131
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 129
Logan Rettino never imagined she'd fall so far. Dropped by her ex on national TV, she's gone from prima ballerina to ring card girl, reduced to revving up the crowds before MMA bouts. However distasteful she finds her new job, it pays well…and she needs the money if she's ever going to rebuild her life. Promised a huge bonus if she can convince a brooding, gifted welterweight to keep fighting, she'll do whatever it takes to earn his trust. Keane O'Shea is unbeatable in the octagon. A former marine, he fights with a ruthlessness no gym jockey can match.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I loved this book
- By Boredom on 01-04-14
By: Michele Mannon
-
Disappearing Act
- A Host of Other Characters in 16 Short Stories
- By: Robert Sheehan
- Narrated by: Robert Sheehan
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
In his debut collection of short stories, Robert Sheehan disappears into characters, challenging the complacencies of everyday experience, often from entirely unexpected angles. Informed by the author’s peripatetic life, Disappearing Act reflects on the absurdity of human behaviour. Sheehan delves deep into his characters’ streams of self-talk and self-imposed delusions, exploring the dark impulses that lurk below the shiny surfaces of many outwardly normal lives.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
as strange as he is
- By DEKEY on 04-08-24
By: Robert Sheehan
-
The Real Animal House
- By: Chris Miller
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 50
Animal House, the film adaptation of stories Chris Miller published in National Lampoon about his experiences at a Dartmouth fraternity, is among the most beloved and successful comedies of all time. In fact, its portrayal of college party life is still imitated on campuses across the country: toga party, anyone? Now Chris Miller can finally answer the fans who all want to know one thing: was it really like that? The answer: yes, but much, much more out of control!
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This book makes the movie look tame.
- By Arthur on 08-31-12
By: Chris Miller
-
Sister Mine
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 116
"We'd had to be cut free of our mother's womb. Abby and I were fused, you see. But here's the real kicker; Abby had the magic, I didn't." Now adults, Makeda and Abby still share their childhood home. The surgery to separate the two girls left Makeda with what feels like an even worse deformity: no mojo. The daughters of a celestial demigod and a human woman, Makeda and Abby were raised by their magical father. Today, Makeda has decided it's high time to move out and make her own life.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Narrator saves this story
- By Denis A. on 03-21-14
By: Nalo Hopkinson
-
The Apocalypse Boxed Set Novels 1-3
- The Undead World Series
- By: Peter Meredith
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 42 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 452
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 413
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 412
Greed, terrorism, and simple bad luck conspire to bring mankind to its knees as a viral infection spreads out of control, reducing those infected to undead horrors that feed upon the rest. It's a time of misery and death for most, however there are some who are lucky, some who are ruthless, and some who are just too damned tough to go down without a fight. This is their story.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Worst writing and VO in HISTORY
- By kd on 11-25-20
By: Peter Meredith
-
Josephine Baker's Last Dance
- By: Sherry Jones
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 13 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 74
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 59
In this illuminating biographical novel, Sherry Jones spans Josephine Baker's early years in servitude and poverty in America to her rise to fame as a showgirl in her famous banana skirt to her activism against discrimination, and her many loves and losses. From 1920s Paris to 1960s Washington to her final, triumphant performance, one of the most extraordinary lives of the 20th century comes to stunning life on the page. With intimate prose and comprehensive research, Sherry Jones brings Josephine Baker into focus for the first time in a joyous celebration of a life lived in technicolor.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Josephine Bakers Last Dance
- By Robin on 09-02-20
By: Sherry Jones
-
Curse of the Arctic Star
- Nancy Drew Diaries, Book 1
- By: Carolyn Keene
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 383
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 306
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 302
Dear Diary...Bess, George, and I are actually in Alaska! Everywhere you look, there are massive mountains and sparkling, deep-blue waters. We're on the maiden voyage of the Arctic Star luxury cruise ship, and my old friend, Becca Wright, the assistant cruise director, needs our help. She received threatening emails before even setting sail; then a bloody body turned up in the swimming pool.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing
- By Jennifer on 12-13-16
By: Carolyn Keene
-
That Bear Ate My Pants!
- Life and Near Death in an Ecuadorian Animal Refuge
- By: Tony James Slater
- Narrated by: Tim Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 38
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
That Bear Ate My Pants! is the hilarious tale of one man's quest to better himself. Whether losing a machete fight with a tree, picking dead tarantulas out of a tank of live ones, or sewing the head back onto a partially decapitated crocodile, Tony's misadventures are ridiculous, unbelievable, and always entertaining.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Laughter is the best medicine
- By C C Johnson on 05-23-23
-
Just Tricking!
- By: Andy Griffiths
- Narrated by: Stig Wemyss
- Length: 2 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18
Ever tried to get out of going to school by pretending that you're dead? Ever managed to convince a friend that they're invisible? Ever been stuck in a gorilla suit and nearly put in a zoo? Andy has. Andy's the greatest practical joker in the world ... well, almost. He would be, if only his practical jokes didn't have the annoying habit of backfiring on him.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
it was really good and I didn't even buy it! 😍😍
- By D on 04-12-24
By: Andy Griffiths
-
The Unnoticeables: A Novel
- The Vicious Circuit, Book 1
- By: Robert Brockway
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Emily Foster, Scott Merriman
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 816
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 754
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 754
There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Left wanting
- By Michelle L. Baron on 08-08-15
By: Robert Brockway
-
The Beast of Barcroft
- By: Bill Schweigart
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 261
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 244
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 245
Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
-
Vassa in the Night
- By: Sarah Porter
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 53
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 49
In the enchanted kingdom of Brooklyn, the fashionable people put on cute shoes, go to parties in warehouses, drink on rooftops at sunset, and tell themselves they've arrived. A whole lot of Brooklyn is like that now - but not Vassa's working-class neighborhood. In Vassa's neighborhood, where she lives with her stepmother and bickering stepsisters, one might stumble onto magic, but stumbling out again could become an issue.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
A Weird Whimsical Story
- By Doha on 12-16-16
By: Sarah Porter
What listeners say about F**ker, The Christmas Mouse
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- D. Napier
- 04-28-20
Adorable Short Tale
This book was a very quick and enjoyable listen for me. As a New Yorker, I totally got it and appreciate this super descriptive tale.
If you have never experienced all the wonderful joy, directness, chaos and hustle that is New York City you may not relate to it as much as I did, but I recommend checking out fun and light hearted hold no punches book. Well done Ms. Landry.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 12-19-19
Funny, original and uniquely hilarious!
Extraordinary detail and channeling of a Dancer, poignant, bittersweet - a most talented writer and fun offbeat story!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bruce Todesco
- 12-17-19
Urban Alternative to Hallmark Smalltown Stories
Clever, engaging, and refreshing. We are lucky to be able to get imaginative, professional story-telling like this with a click of the button. Definitely the best 45 minutes of my pre-Christmas day!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nick D
- 01-06-20
Stumbled Upon This Gem!
So WHAT if Christmas came and went! This delightful little holiday/showbiz story is universal (even in the dead of summer). Ms. Landry comically nailed the anxiety, struggles and insecurities of a New York transplant trying to make it in entertainment and raised the stakes even higher by introducing a certain unwanted little creature who knows how to get around. Also, real good narration by Deanna Henson as well as the guy covering all the male voices. Not a creature was stirring? Not even a mouse? Guess, again!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall2 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story2 out of 5 stars
- Angela Reed Padilla
- 12-01-19
Hard pass; not funny
I returned this book and got my credit back (thank you, Audible, for providing this excellent option when needed). This book has no redeeming qualities. You’ve got an unlikeable protagonist, a depressing situation, a ridiculous paranoia with an innocuous creature...and i could not even get to the end of this before bailing. There are a lot of great Christmas books out there on audible, so I don’t recommend this one.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful