Crazy Time, Revised Edition

Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life

By: Abigail Trafford

Narrated by: Coleen Marlo

Thoroughly revised and updated for a new generation, the essential guide for men and women to help them weather the turmoil of divorce and build rich, rewarding lives

There is nothing easy about the breakup of a marriage, from coping with loss and failure to dealing with the uncertainty of the future. In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts this emotional journey, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life.

Based upon her personal experience, extensive research, and interviews with hundreds of divorced men and women, Trafford offers individuals a better understanding of their own experiences and the message that they are not alone in their pain and confusion. Crazy Time is also an investment in the future - Trafford reveals the telltale signs of a marriage in crisis, and discusses what determines whether a relationship will survive over time.

This revised edition includes the most up-to-date research on the personal and economic effects of divorce in adults and children's lives, addresses the special challenges of becoming single again in the age of the Internet, and broadens the experience of divorce to the breakup of all committed relationships. For anyone who has divorced or is considering taking that step, Crazy Time offers a sense of hope and confidence that this transition is not only an ending but can also be a valuable beginning.

©1992 Abigail Trafford (P)2018 Tantor

I like the sound of her voice

I knew that this was not gonna be for me because I’m 77 I could’ve gotten away with not reading this book but I’m going to a mental health doctor and she recommended it so for young people it’s a 10 if people are honest with each other, miracles take place

Worth listening but needs updating

Lots of French words that are too frequently repeated for no reason which don’t represent sophistication but lack of proper equivalent word in English. Also seemed like everyone who gets divorce, will end up as a sex machine and just sleeping around with no attention to their kids or where they end up or how emotionally they hurt them. Not once I heard how these parents felt about leaving their children behind or losing custody or how having kids changed their lives. I think People are more descent and less selfish than the bunch she listed in her book. Also getting updated with the 21st century as far as statistics and family units go would make the book more valuable for the younger generation.
Still, I believe that I learned tremendous amount of great information and thank the author for her experience and stories.

Content & narration great, but dated.

The author outlines major psychological dynamics leading to divorce, the impacts of the loss of marriages and how to full recover through moving retellings of personal experiences from several cases. The narration is engaging and smooth. The only drawback is the age of cultural references, some of which are very dated. It does beg the question, what may have changed since the book was published?

Better as an additional book

This is better as an additional book after some other sources. It’s a great book, with useful information about “gridlock” which is essentially the roles you play and get stuck in during the initial parts of a relationship. I’d say this book is more about making better choices in future relationships, but less so about pre/during/post break-up.

A few useful ideas, but overall out of date

I'm the one being left. My Ex recommended. This book, written in 1982, has a few useful ideas: The idea of a "death contract" or "gridlock" that solidfies imbalanced or harmful dynamics in a marriage and for a partnership to persist, must be renegotiated, The difficulty of reconicling conflicting feelings ideas within onseself and how that makes us feel crazy, and the potential role of short relationships to move through the emotional stages of divorce, which the author takes (and renames) from Soren Kierkegaards' 3 stags of life: aesthetic, ethical, religous.

All that said, It is based more on interviews of the author and less on what I'd characterize as high value research, it'll make it seem that everyone in relationships cheats. And it will justify this behavior in every single instance. A better listen, in my opinion, is Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas.

I should say that my ex appreciated the book. Its allowed her to be more self-compassionate through "crazy time." And it could help anyone looking towards their next relationship after a divorce. But if you're still trying to process feelings of divorce, I would recommend it alongside other, more updated texts, such as Conscious Uncoupling.