Cover My Dreams in Ink

A Son's Unbearable Solitude, a Mother's Unending Quest

By: Jessie Dunleavy

Narrated by: Kathie Hullfish

Born different, a boy struggles. His story draws you in. So, too, does his mother's unending fight, the fight for an appropriate education and effective health care through to the fight for his life as he enters the harrowing world of addiction. Facing bitter disappointments and often insurmountable obstacles, while grappling with their own missteps, mother and son manage to cope with adversity, each in their own way and sometimes in opposition. Equally obvious is the bond between them, evidenced by their candid communication—laden with strife but not without humor.

A mother’s passion for her son’s equal rights, and her unshakable belief in his potential, seep through, as does her coming to terms with her own flaws. The boy's poetry—undiscovered in his lifetime—is intertwined, depicting the inner life of a person underestimated and, in many ways, unknown. The adolescent boy’s longing for affirmation and his deep-seated feelings of inadequacy dovetail with failed systems—school, health care, legal—to create the perfect storm.

From the discovery of a drug that provided relief to the pure hell of addiction—exploited, humiliated, punished—and from homelessness and jail cells, to rehab and a wanderlust fueled by the relentless quest to belong, his young manhood is full of heartache. Yet his grit and resilience—his capacity to love and forgive—present a formidable counterforce to the wounds of injustice. But they lose. She, her son. He, his life.

The audiobook recounts the journey of an individual, but packs a message that is universal: human rights, a principle too easily negated for the vulnerable. Inspiring sensitivity for those who are different, compassion for those whose battles arise from uncontrollable circumstances rather than faults of character, this gripping story elucidates the source of addiction and drives home the urgent need for drug policy reform.

©2020, 2021 Apprentice House Press, Loyola University (P)2022 Jessie Dunleavy

Be prepared

This is a heart wrenching story, of a mother’s love and attempt to help her son with his struggles. The narrator did an outstanding job, but I found I had to take frequent breaks, because it is hard to listen to. This mom was very brave in the face of obstacles that would stymied a less determined woman.

Look into a world your neighbor lives in

If you have not lived the experience of a parent with a special needs child or as the family member of a drug addict, you must listen to this story to understand your neighbor’s world. If you have lived it, you’ll realize that others understand and have walked through what you live. We share in the frustrations, anguish and hopefulness as Jesse and Paul navigate the turmoil. This is a story that unearthed stereotypes and revised my perspective on addiction and special needs parenting. Dunleavey’s writing is compelling and Hullfish’s narration brings it all to life. It’s a story worth driving around the block for to continue listening just a little longer.