Christmas Jokes
Funny and Hilarious Christmas Jokes and Riddles for Kids
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Christmas Jokes
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Narrated by:
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Ryan Sitzberger
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By:
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Arnie Lightning
About this listen
Lots of hilarious holiday laughs for kids!
Makes a wonderful Christmas gift for children.
From the number one best-selling author, Arnie Lightning, comes a brand-new Christmas joke collection with lots of hilarious holiday jokes, knee-slappers, and moan-n-groaners. You will be rolling on the floor laughing at all the jokes about Santa Claus, elves, reindeer, Christmas trees, gifts, and more.
Arnie’s witty and comedic humor returns with the 2017 holiday edition to make your little ones laugh with nonstop puns and jokes about everything to do with Christmas. This refreshing classic is a perfect fit for the entire family to enjoy together!
This Christmas audiobook is great for traveling, waiting rooms, and listening aloud with friends and family at home or school.
Q: What was the barber’s favorite Christmas song? A: Oh comb all ye faithful!
Q: What do you call a singing elf? A: A wrapper!
Q: What song do Santa’s elves sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night? A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 952
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 921
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 921
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,957
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,946
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,921
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 11
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 11
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11
The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun listen
- By Been there on 11-23-24
By: Elvis Costello
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 288
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 281
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Story4 out of 5 stars 281
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,002
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,449
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,193
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 22
When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,259
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,662
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Story4 out of 5 stars 4,670
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,593
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,469
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,466
Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
What listeners say about Christmas Jokes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carolyn Wyman
- 12-30-23
Cute collection of kids jokes
This is a Cute collection of silly kids Christmas jokes. Book is a very quick story. .
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