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Christmas Jokes
- Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids
- Narrated by: Wes Super
- Length: 17 mins
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Christmas Jokes
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Publisher's summary
Kids are sure to love these hilarious holiday jokes from the world-renowned jokester and comedian, Johnny B. Laughing! This super silly and funny audiobook is great for children to listen aloud with friends and family. Makes a perfect travel companion and keeps children entertained!
Jokes from this funny book....
Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas? A: Because it's in Decembrrr!
Ha ha!
Q: Who delivers cat Christmas presents? A: Santa Paws!
LOL!
Q: What does Santa say when he is sick? A: OH OH NO!
Ha ha!
Q: What does Santa call that reindeer with no eyes? A: No-eyed-deer!
LOL!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus? A: North Polish!
Ha ha!
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? A: Crisp Cringle!
Get these Christmas laughs now!
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 293
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 289
"Are you in a bad mood or something?" asked Rocky. "Or something," said Judy Moody. Bad moods, good moods, even back-to-school moods - Judy Moody has them all! When her teacher assigns the class the task of creating "Me" collages, it puts Judy in a cut-and-paste mood! Meet Judy Moody, her little "bother" Stink, her best friend Rocky, and her "pest" friend Frank Pearl. They're guaranteed to put you in a very Judy Moody mood... or something.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Oh my gosh! What a treasure!
- By MarissaB on 01-19-13
By: Megan McDonald
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The Christmas Pig
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Amaka Okafor, Rocco Padden, Gerran Howell, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,491
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,061
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,048
Jack loves his childhood toy Dur Pig. DP has always been there for him, through good and bad. Until one Christmas Eve something terrible happens - DP is lost. But Christmas Eve is a night for miracles and lost causes, a night when all things can come to life...even toys. And Jack’s newest toy - the Christmas Pig (DP’s annoying replacement) - has a daring plan: Together they’ll embark on a magical journey to seek something lost and to save the best friend Jack has ever known....
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4 out of 5 stars
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More Scary & Violent Than "Heartwarming Adventure"
- By Bookworm on 10-19-21
By: J.K. Rowling
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The Ickabog
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,295
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,713
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,702
The kingdom of Cornucopia was once the happiest in the world. It had plenty of gold, a king with the finest moustache you could possibly imagine, and butchers, bakers, and cheesemongers whose exquisite foods made a person dance with delight when they ate them. Everything was perfect - except for the misty Marshlands to the north, which, according to legend, were home to the monstrous Ickabog. Anyone sensible knew that the Ickabog was just a myth to scare children into behaving. But the funny thing about myths is that sometimes they take on a life of their own.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Oh, dear...
- By ili pika on 11-11-20
By: J.K. Rowling
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Disney Frozen: Olaf's Quest
- By: Disney Press, Suzanne Francis
- Narrated by: Jake Green, Matt Lowe, Abby Trott, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 218
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 208
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 208
Olaf, Arendelle’s adorable snowman, loves to read. One day, an unexpected message leads Olaf and his friends Anna, Kristoff, and Sven on a quest for a place known as Haus Biblio, described as a “sea of stories”. This Audible Original spans the group’s journey to Haus Biblio as they cross over mountains, search for monsters under bridges, and have conversations with friendly sheep. During his travels, Olaf makes new friends and hears lots of exciting stories along the way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Stories of all sorts within a story!
- By Just Duckie on 09-21-24
By: Disney Press, and others
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The Secret Garden
- By: Frances Hodgson Burnett
- Narrated by: Carrie Hope Fletcher
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 7,896
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,123
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Story5 out of 5 stars 7,087
Mary Lennox starts her life as an unhappy victim of circumstance. After the loss of her parents, she moves to rural Yorkshire to live with a distant uncle where she resents the wildness of the countryside. At first, she struggles to find a place in this new existence. Although unsure about her surroundings and its occupants, through the gentle guidance of the maid she gradually becomes interested in the story of Mrs Craven, who apparently used to spend her time in a garden at the house, the key to which has vanished.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fabulous
- By Lady Lightning on 05-19-20
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Disney Princess: Belle and the Rose Riddle
- By: Disney Press, Juliana Schiavo
- Narrated by: Jeff Bennett, Piotr Michael, Julie Nathanson, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 36 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
Belle lives in a beautiful castle with a Beast and Enchanted Objects that have come to life. But that isn’t the strangest thing about the castle. Rose petals and leaves have begun to mysteriously appear in random places, leading Belle and her companions Cogsworth the clock and Lumiere the candelabra on a hunt for an intruder.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great mystery!
- By Angela on 10-17-24
By: Disney Press, and others
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
- Disney Classic Stories
- By: Disney Books
- Narrated by: Disney Publishing Worldwide
- Length: 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 74
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
If you were asked to choose the most fabulous character in English literature, who would it be? Perhaps the one and only Ichabod Crane. When this superstitious schoolmaster moves into the quiet village of Sleepy Hollow, he quickly starts vying for the affection of heiress Katrina Van Tassel. However, this puts him in the path of town bully Brom Bones. Will Ichabod win Katrina's heart, or will he fall victim to the small town's big legend—the Headless Horseman?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great kids story
- By Logan Howlett on 11-15-24
By: Disney Books
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Disney Pixar Cars: The Legend of the Crystal Hubcap
- By: Disney Press, Steve Behling
- Narrated by: Larry the Cable Guy, Keith Ferguson, full cast
- Length: 1 hr and 3 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 94
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 94
Kachow! Best friends Lightning McQueen and Mater are on the road to attend Mater’s sister’s wedding allll the way across the country when they accidentally find themselves at the legendary Cave of the Crystal Hubcap. See, legend has it, whoever gazes into this hubcap becomes the luckiest racer in the world! Mater thinks the hubcap would make the perfect wedding gift and heads into the cave in search of it. Since friends don’t let friends go into caves alone, Lightning joins him. While inside, they meet a new friend and help her out of a jam.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The CARS gang enjoy an adventure.
- By Marian K. Anderson-Danner on 09-23-24
By: Disney Press, and others