-
Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 5
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
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Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)
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Publisher's summary
The long-awaited fifth book in the wildly popular series of horror/comedy novels featuring Andrew Mayhem!
As a stay-at-home dad taking care of triplets, Andrew Mayhem's days of getting into wild adventures are over. His life is measured in diaper changes. Sleep has become an abstract concept, something oft-discussed with his wife, Helen, but rarely experienced.
So, when internet celebrity explorer Percival Longshore asks Andrew and his best friend, Roger, to travel with him on a good old-fashioned treasure hunt, Andrew laughs off the idea. He can't even watch 10 consecutive minutes of a movie, much less fly to the rain forest in South America to see if an old map is accurate.
The base pay is generous, the potential reward is astronomical, and Percival assures him that he will be in absolutely no danger. After Helen gives her blessing for Andrew to leave for a few days, he finds himself on a small motorboat on the Amazon River seeking his fortune. Maybe this adventure really will be different.
When they pass a skinned body tied to a pole, Andrew realizes that nothing has changed.
"Once again, Jeff Strand creates the perfect balance of horror and comedy. Given the stressful times we are living in, I can’t think of a better escape than a few hours with Andrew Mayhem." (Signal Horizon)
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- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,240
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,079
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,072
Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Surprisingly Good
- By Steelgator on 07-21-18
By: Josh Erikson
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,140
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,065
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,058
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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Immortal
- The Immortal Series, Book 1
- By: Gene Doucette
- Narrated by: Steve Carlson
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 693
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 644
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Story4 out of 5 stars 643
Surviving 60,000 years takes cunning and more than a little luck. But in the 21st century, Adam confronts new dangers - someone has found out what he is, a demon is after him, and he has run out of places to hide. Worst of all, he has had entirely too much to drink.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great story that will make you think about life!
- By MJP on 12-22-16
By: Gene Doucette
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Lost Pirates
- By: Jamie Hawke
- Narrated by: Brandon Utah
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 824
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 749
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Story4 out of 5 stars 750
Frank was never the save-the-world type. He joined his college's Jedi dueling club to impress a chick he was into, and only stayed because he was too embarrassed to quit. He’s the type to have a crush, but the closest he’s gotten to action lately is when he stumbles upon his roommate having a hot threesome. Damn, he'd love to feel what it's like to be that guy. Be careful what you wish for…Life takes an unexpected turn when Frank discovers his grandpa's secret and travels back in time.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I wanted to like it, but...
- By Spencer on 02-10-19
By: Jamie Hawke
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The Wastes of Keldora
- Factory of the Gods, Book 1
- By: Alex Raizman
- Narrated by: Christopher James Mayer
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 86
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 76
Summoned to another world where gods and monsters roam, Julian continues his streak of bad luck. Rather than touching the Godcore directly, he let his smartphone absorb it. Now, he's got to figure out how to make the Godcore and his phone work together to help the people who summoned him survive their upcoming annihilation by the mad God of Chains.
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3 out of 5 stars
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New beginnings. Same people.
- By GrimReaperD13 on 08-14-21
By: Alex Raizman
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The List
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Benjamin L. Darcie
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,384
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,214
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,210
They are ten strangers with one thing in common: A mysterious tattoo on the bottom of their feet. None of them know how it got there or what it means. One of them is a homicide cop who’s determined to find out. All of them are marked for death - because they’re next on...The List. The explosive thriller from bestselling author J.A. Konrath, The List takes you deep inside a top-secret techno-conspiracy that’s too shocking to comprehend, too insidious to detect, and far too powerful to stop....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Better than expected
- By Sammie on 07-19-19
By: J. A. Konrath
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Madness Unleashed
- Age of Madness - A Kurtherian Gambit Series
- By: Hayley Lawson, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
Two hundred years ago the earth was destroyed by the World’s Worst Day Ever. Keeping his head down for the last few centuries, a mutated vampire has taken advantage of the new post-apocalyptic normal. Now, Ryder is provided an opportunity to escape his tyrannical rule...but she won’t stand for simply disappearing; it’s time for justice. Taking one mutated vampire down should be no problem, right? Wrong! Throw in a newly developed herd of zombies, and Ryder is facing a full recipe for disaster. Get ready to enjoy the ride!
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3 out of 5 stars
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Bad Narration
- By Amazon Customer on 09-06-21
By: Hayley Lawson, and others
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 223
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 195
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Story4 out of 5 stars 197
Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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3 out of 5 stars
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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United States of Apocalypse
- By: Mark Tufo, Armand Rosamilia
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette, Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,480
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,313
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,302
When World War 3 erupts on American soil, it is up to some less than likely heroes to band together and stand tall against any and all comers as a once proud nation is brought to her knees. Cowardly terrorist attacks and indifferent global communities have isolated America as she spirals into a desperate bid for survival.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Can we please leave the leftist rhetoric out of my books?
- By Laura D. on 04-25-21
By: Mark Tufo, and others
What listeners say about Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- AudioMonster
- 07-22-21
And ending for the ages
I'm a little sad. This is the last book in the Andrew Mayhem series. I've taken the journey with Andrew over the past 10 years, and seeing this new release and having it all come to conclusion was bitter sweet. I won't spoil it, but it was another fantastic and twisted tale, and the world is now a sadder place knowing there will be no more Mayhem.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- jeliarra
- 07-11-22
Satisfying
Reason for 4 stars instead of 5 is due to the stories of Andrew coming to a halt. More is needed! Andrew is an enjoyable character, simple with refreshing common sense power and a tiny sprinkle of sarcasm. The way he deals with terrifying situations he finds himself in, well he takes it like a man and normal human being. I thoroughly enjoyed all the Andrew books!
Jeff if your paying attention, MORE Andrew please!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- grnbaypakrgirl
- 02-03-24
Andrew Mayhem 4Ever
I love this series & this was another excellent installment of Andrew's & Roger's adventures. Hilarious & exciting.
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