Because We Are Bad

OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

By: Lily Bailey

Narrated by: Lily Bailey

Written with the indelible power of Girl, Interrupted, Brain on Fire, and Reasons to Stay Alive, a lyrical, poignant memoir by a young woman about her childhood battle with debilitating obsessive compulsive disorder, and her hard-won journey to recovery.

By the age of 13, Lily Bailey was convinced she was bad. She had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and ogled the bodies of other children. Only by performing an exhausting series of secret routines could she make up for what she'd done. But no matter how intricate or repetitive, no act of penance was ever enough.

Beautifully written and astonishingly intimate, Because We Are Bad recounts a childhood consumed by obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child, Bailey created a second personality inside herself - "I" became "we" - to help manifest compulsions that drove every minute of every day of her young life. Now she writes about the forces beneath her skin, and how they ordered, organized, and urged her forward. Lily charts her journey, from checking on her younger sister dozens of times a night, to "normalizing" herself at school among new friends as she grew older, and finally to her young adult years, learning - indeed, breaking through - to make a way for herself in a big, wide world that refuses to stay in check.

Charming and raw, harrowing and redemptive, Because We Are Bad is an illuminating and uplifting look into the mind and soul of an extraordinary young woman, and a startling portrait of OCD that allows us to see and understand this condition as never before.

©2018 Lily Bailey (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers

Helped me so much with my OCD

I was at the end of my wits before listening to this book. Felt so alone and was ready to just end it all. The experiences shared in this book echoed in me but also helped me gain some incredible self help tips, and for the first time in years, optimism within my own self (alongside therapy). I hated myself to no end before reading this, and felt undeserving of anything, but after this book I regained some hope in myself and the world around me. Thank you so much!!

Thank you x Infinity

I didn't know how much I needed to hear your story. It meant everything to me. I feel let of the hook in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your journey with the world.

Essential Read for OCD Relief & Understanding

Lily Bailey's experience is unique enough in the varied presentations of OCD to stand on its own. I think it's a seminal read for sufferers of covert obsessions and compulsions, or what is commonly referred to as "Pure OCD." Labelling aside, many people with OCD find that their symptoms are less obvious to those around them than the examples we often see in movies and on TV. Usually there is some kind of physical manifestation at some point or another, but often the disease can feel more mental, or ruminative. As it often traps its sufferers within their own minds, it can also tend to warp one's sense of identity into a twisted shape, and I believe Lily's story will help heal anyone who feels this kind of "identity OCD" presentation manifesting.

I also think friends and family of people with OCD could stand to gain a lot of perspective from a book such as this. It may be easier for some with the illness to introduce people to their struggles with this book as well.

I really love Lily's writing style. There is something desperate and dreamy in these words. Poetry sprinkles throughout the prose in a delicate, deliberate way, and may create pause in the listener as they take certain phrases in with their eyes closed, nodding and smiling. There are also times when the writing, as well as Bailey's humbling performance, brought me to tears. My experience of OCD is not unlike Ms. Bailey's in some ways. While Lily is not a professional voice actor, or narrator, her insights and experience come through in her voice more strongly felt than they otherwise could. There is also an interesting cultural element to this memoir, and a question to boot: What are the effects of posh British climate on a youth with OCD, and what if that youth were born common, only later to clamber to a higher class in life? What kind of complexes might that create? One could write a whole thesis on something like this.

In closing, Because We Are Bad is one of my favorite books, and probably my favorite book about OCD of all time. Definitely give it a listen.

Complex and intriguing

Really good listen. She's so complicated and interesting. And her voice is great, really good narration. It's worth your time.

This book makes me feel not alone

My jaw was on the floor the whole time! Highly recommend if you or someone you love has OCD.

Very Surprised. Raw, Moving, Unique, True.

OCD has caused my mind to roll the rock of Sisyphus since I was 12 years old. Every OCD case is different, and Lily's is a great example of truth being stranger than fiction. People with this disorder have to *think manually*. You have to pull yourself out of long-term memory and re-sync with working memory, where the OCD "skips" occur.

Amazing ! Candid, honest

This account of a girl’s experience with OCD is salve to anyone who is a patient or has OCD tendencies . It is comforting to hear first hand that bad thoughts happen and doesn’t mean you want to act on them . Means more coming from a person that has lived through it than from a professional just telling you it’s “the disease”
Really worthwhile book for families of patients also

I'm grateful for this book

Listening to Lily Bailey read her story changed my life forever. Thank you so much Lily!

Honest and powerful.

This is an accurately written account of what it’s like to have this kind of ocd. I was so grateful to read such a personal account of what I have called “bad person ocd.” I only know one other person that has this besides myself and I appreciated the honestly and her attention to detail that the author shares. I’ve suggested this book to the other person I know and I would suggest it to anyone who is connected to anyone with ocd. For me, I found strategies to be helpful in minimizing my own and I felt maybe the author might have touched more on them. Maybe they weren’t the most helpful part for her? Wonderful book! I’m so glad she wrote it and glad to have read it.

really wonderful

it's probably strange to title this review as really wonderful. However, I have always had OCD as well, and this book just helps. what Miss Bailey has done here may just be bravely sharing her experience but that is so comforting if you've been through similar things so I'm thankful.