Beat

My Journey Through Abuse and the Holdeman Mennonites

By: Hannah Prosser

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

I was born to an abusive doctor named Ahaz in Kentucky, homeschooled and not even allowed to have friends. When I was nine, Ahaz discovered The Church of God in Christ, Mennonite (Holdeman) in Tennessee, and he forced us to move there.
The Holdeman's were religious exempt from education beyond the eighth grade, and I was beat for begging to go to a high school.
As a minor, I had to kiss approximately 200 different people on the lips, some of whom were complete strangers, for the sake of something called The Holy Kiss; only it didn't feel holy.
Ahaz determined to break my independent, inquisitive nature through severe beatings and worse, including deadbolting me within my bedroom and nailing my windows shut.
Multiple Holdeman Mennonites were aware of what was being done to me, yet no one reported it. Instead, I was made out to be mentally ill; a liar.
After years of suffering through emotional, physical, physiological and sexual abuse, how could I even survive?
No one could hear me then... will YOU hear me now?

An unbreakable spirit.

Hannah wrote a very difficult to read telling of the physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse she endured through her childhood and adolescent years. I had to pause the audio book several times to take breaks, sometimes for a day or more.

I’ve read some of the other reviews on the print version complaining of the grammatical and continuity errors in this memoir, but I see it as evidence of the story’s validity. It was structured as if it were written by someone with a minimal 8th grade cult education. A limited understanding of the lexicon reflects that of someone raised in a community with an isolated dialect, such as the Holdeman Mennonites.

The continuity errors (of which I admit there were many. For example: she described a hope chest and it’s purpose for what seemed like a half-dozen times) are exactly what you would expect from someone attempting to record horrid and terrible memories that are being dredged up from suppression and relived. The re-traumatizing would cause anyone to have to stop writing for extended periods between chapters, and forget they had already described a particular subject. This isn’t a story written for entertainment. This is a damaged human being sharing the worst and most shameful moments of her life, shouting, “this happened to me! Is there anyone who will listen and care?!”

I don’t understand how anyone can be so heartless as to read this book and not have enough empathy to be both heartbroken and proud of Hannah for the battles she has survived. However, the monsters and devils contained within this narrative are evidence of the contrary.

Hannah is a warrior. The evidence is shown in her bravery to publish this memoir.

Reader mid read too many words over and over.

Reader doesn’t sound natural and mis pronounced the same words wrong, over and over. Story is one of concern.

That mother

The true monster in this book was the mother! She knew everything that was happening and turning a blind eye doesn’t mean she didn’t know. To actually leave that man and go back again and again knowing her child was being raped and beaten is inexcusable.

AI sucks

Too bad AI was used to tell this story. It was disturbing the way words were incorrectly used according to the context clues. the inflection of voice af a real human would have brought so much more to the story.

she survived!

I love her courage and strength all the while she was being beaten and raped, molested by her father.

the autommmated voice mispronounced words and was too robotic at times

I liked the story however telling the same thing over and over and over in each chapter

The annoying virtual voice

never said what happened to her. this was the most frustrating book I've ever listened to