Barry Loser Is the Best at Football NOT!
Barry Loser, Book 10
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Barry Loser Is the Best at Football NOT!
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Narrated by:
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Huw Parmenter
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By:
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Jim Smith
About this listen
The tenth book in the brilliant Roald Dahl Funny Prize winning BARRY LOSER series.
Perfect for readers aged 7-10 years old and fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Tom Gates, Dennis the Menace and Pamela Butchart's Wigglesbottom Primary series.
Everyone at Barry’s school has gone football crazy, but Barry gets thrown out of the team (the Mogden Maniacs) for being completeerly rubbish. Then it turns out that his best friend Bunky is a super striker – so Barry becomes his manager. The cup final match is approaching and Bunky’s getting carried away with his football fame – can Barry keep his head in the game?
Join everyone’s favourite Loser on his tenth hilarious adventure!
Barry Loser: I am not a loser was selected as a Tom Fletcher Book Club 2017 title.
Future Ratboy and the Invasion of the Nom Noms is shortlisted for the Lollies Award 2017
Don't miss the other funny books by Jim Smith:
BARRY LOSER
I am not a Loser
I am still not a Loser
I am so over being a Loser
I am sort of a Loser
Barry Loser and the holiday of doom
Barry Loser and the case of the crumpled carton
Barry Loser hates half term
Barry Loser and the birthday billions
Barry Loser's ultimate book of keelness
Barry Loser’s Christmas Joke Book
My mum is a loser
My dad is a loser
Future Ratboy and the Attack of the Killer Robot Grannies
Future Ratboy and the Invasion of the Nom Noms
Future Ratboy and the Quest for the Missing Thingy
Jim Smith is the keelest kids’ book author in the whole wide world amen. He graduated from art school with first class honours (the best you can get) and is the author of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning and bestselling BARRY LOSER series. He is also the author of the Barry Loser spin-off series, FUTURE RATBOY. He lives in London, and designs cards and gifts under the name Waldo Pancake.
©2018 Jim Smith (P)2022 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
Praise for the BARRY LOSER Series!
‘The review of the eight-year-old boy in our house . . . "Can I keep it to give to a friend?' Best recommendation you can get', Observer
'Hugely enjoyable surreal chaos', Guardian
'I laughed so much that I thought I was going to burst!', Finbar, aged 9
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 129
My name is Chase Cooper, and I'm a 6th grade ninja. It's my first day at a different school and the only person I know is my cousin, Zoe (but she might be a little too cool for me). I was just another scrawny kid until a group of ninjas recruited me into their clan. It was a world of trouble I wasn't prepared for, which is why I kept this diary (or "chronicle" as my dad would call it) - to warn other kids about the dangers of becoming a ninja. They say history is destined to repeat itself...well, not if I can help it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing boo
- By Anonymous User on 04-17-20
By: Marcus Emerson
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The Last Thing I Remember
- By: Deborah Bee
- Narrated by: Yolanda Kettle, Lucy Middleweek
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 139
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4 out of 5 stars 112
A novel that grips from the very beginning and that will live long in the memory, The Last Thing I Remember is Deborah Bee's startling debut thriller. Sarah is in a coma. Her memory is gone - she doesn't know how she got there. And she doesn't know how she might get out. But then she discovers that her injury wasn't an accident. And that the assailant hasn't been caught. Unable to speak, see or move, Sarah must use every clue that she overhears to piece together her own past.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Grow up...
- By Kelly on 03-08-20
By: Deborah Bee
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The Boy at the Back of the Class
- By: Onjali Q. Raúf
- Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story5 out of 5 stars 50
There used to be an empty chair at the back of Mrs. Khan's classroom, but on the third Tuesday of the school year a new kid fills it: nine-year-old Ahmet, a Syrian refugee. The whole class is curious about this new boy - he doesn't seem to smile, and he doesn't talk much. But after learning that Ahmet fled a very real war and was separated from his family along the way, a determined group of his classmates bands together to concoct the greatest idea in the world - a magnificent plan to reunite Ahmet with his loved ones.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I love it
- By Danielle Tebon on 10-27-24
By: Onjali Q. Raúf
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What Happens Now?
- By: Sophia Money-Coutts
- Narrated by: Sophia Money-Coutts
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 174
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 154
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Story4 out of 5 stars 154
After eight years together, Lil Bailey thought she’d already found ‘the one’ - that is, until he dumped her for a blonde 20-something colleague. So she does what any self-respecting singleton would do: swipes right, puts on her best bra and finds herself on a first date with a handsome mountaineer called Max. What’s the worst that can happen? Well it’s pretty bad actually. First Max ghosts her and then, after weeing on a stick (but mostly her hands), a few weeks later Lil discovers she’s pregnant.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good Beach Listen
- By Anonymous User on 06-02-21
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Absolutely Almost
- By: Lisa Graff
- Narrated by: Noah Galvin
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 323
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 279
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Story4 out of 5 stars 281
Albie has never been the smartest kid in his class. He has never been the tallest. Or the best at gym. Or the greatest artist. Or the most musical. In fact, Albie has a long list of the things he's not very good at. And his parents keep reminding him of those things all the time...even when it's just by accident. But then Albie gets a new babysitter, Calista, who helps him figure out all of the things he is good at and how he can take pride in himself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautifully performed, great book
- By Library on 11-10-14
By: Lisa Graff
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Kid Normal
- By: Greg James, Chris Smith
- Narrated by: Greg James, Chris Smith
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 196
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 150
When Murph Cooper rocks up to his new school, he can't help but feel a bit out of his depth. And it's not because he's worried about where to sit, and making friends, and fitting in, or not knowing where the loos are. It's because his mum has enrolled him at a school for superheroes by mistake. And unlike his fellow students Murph has no special abilities whatsoever. But just because you don't have superpowers, it doesn't mean you can't save the day....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Easy listen, mostly
- By Jules on 05-28-20
By: Greg James, and others
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The Passing Playbook
- By: Isaac Fitzsimons
- Narrated by: Jamie K. Brown
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53
Fifteen-year-old Spencer Harris is a proud nerd, an awesome big brother, and a David Beckham in training. He's also transgender. After transitioning at his old school leads to a year of isolation and bullying, Spencer gets a fresh start at Oakley, the most liberal private school in Ohio. At Oakley, Spencer seems to have it all: more accepting classmates, a decent shot at a starting position on the boys' soccer team, great new friends, and maybe even something more than friendship with one of his teammates.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Formulaic but cute
- By Iaah L on 02-03-24
By: Isaac Fitzsimons
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Judy Moody
- Judy Moody, Book 1
- By: Megan McDonald
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 1 hr and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 390
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 293
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 289
"Are you in a bad mood or something?" asked Rocky. "Or something," said Judy Moody. Bad moods, good moods, even back-to-school moods - Judy Moody has them all! When her teacher assigns the class the task of creating "Me" collages, it puts Judy in a cut-and-paste mood! Meet Judy Moody, her little "bother" Stink, her best friend Rocky, and her "pest" friend Frank Pearl. They're guaranteed to put you in a very Judy Moody mood... or something.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Oh my gosh! What a treasure!
- By MarissaB on 01-19-13
By: Megan McDonald
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The Christmas Pig
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Amaka Okafor, Rocco Padden, Gerran Howell, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,498
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,067
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,054
Jack loves his childhood toy Dur Pig. DP has always been there for him, through good and bad. Until one Christmas Eve something terrible happens - DP is lost. But Christmas Eve is a night for miracles and lost causes, a night when all things can come to life...even toys. And Jack’s newest toy - the Christmas Pig (DP’s annoying replacement) - has a daring plan: Together they’ll embark on a magical journey to seek something lost and to save the best friend Jack has ever known....
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4 out of 5 stars
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More Scary & Violent Than "Heartwarming Adventure"
- By Bookworm on 10-19-21
By: J.K. Rowling
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The Ickabog
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,298
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,716
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,705
The kingdom of Cornucopia was once the happiest in the world. It had plenty of gold, a king with the finest moustache you could possibly imagine, and butchers, bakers, and cheesemongers whose exquisite foods made a person dance with delight when they ate them. Everything was perfect - except for the misty Marshlands to the north, which, according to legend, were home to the monstrous Ickabog. Anyone sensible knew that the Ickabog was just a myth to scare children into behaving. But the funny thing about myths is that sometimes they take on a life of their own.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Oh, dear...
- By ili pika on 11-11-20
By: J.K. Rowling
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Disney Frozen: Olaf's Quest
- By: Disney Press, Suzanne Francis
- Narrated by: Jake Green, Matt Lowe, Abby Trott, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 226
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 215
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 215
Olaf, Arendelle’s adorable snowman, loves to read. One day, an unexpected message leads Olaf and his friends Anna, Kristoff, and Sven on a quest for a place known as Haus Biblio, described as a “sea of stories”. This Audible Original spans the group’s journey to Haus Biblio as they cross over mountains, search for monsters under bridges, and have conversations with friendly sheep. During his travels, Olaf makes new friends and hears lots of exciting stories along the way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Stories of all sorts within a story!
- By Just Duckie on 09-21-24
By: Disney Press, and others
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The Secret Garden
- By: Frances Hodgson Burnett
- Narrated by: Carrie Hope Fletcher
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 7,904
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,131
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Story5 out of 5 stars 7,095
Mary Lennox starts her life as an unhappy victim of circumstance. After the loss of her parents, she moves to rural Yorkshire to live with a distant uncle where she resents the wildness of the countryside. At first, she struggles to find a place in this new existence. Although unsure about her surroundings and its occupants, through the gentle guidance of the maid she gradually becomes interested in the story of Mrs Craven, who apparently used to spend her time in a garden at the house, the key to which has vanished.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fabulous
- By Lady Lightning on 05-19-20
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Disney Princess: Belle and the Rose Riddle
- By: Disney Press, Juliana Schiavo
- Narrated by: Jeff Bennett, Piotr Michael, Julie Nathanson, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 36 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
Belle lives in a beautiful castle with a Beast and Enchanted Objects that have come to life. But that isn’t the strangest thing about the castle. Rose petals and leaves have begun to mysteriously appear in random places, leading Belle and her companions Cogsworth the clock and Lumiere the candelabra on a hunt for an intruder.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great mystery!
- By Angela on 10-17-24
By: Disney Press, and others
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Disney Pixar Cars: The Legend of the Crystal Hubcap
- By: Disney Press, Steve Behling
- Narrated by: Larry the Cable Guy, Keith Ferguson, full cast
- Length: 1 hr and 3 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 102
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 97
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
Kachow! Best friends Lightning McQueen and Mater are on the road to attend Mater’s sister’s wedding allll the way across the country when they accidentally find themselves at the legendary Cave of the Crystal Hubcap. See, legend has it, whoever gazes into this hubcap becomes the luckiest racer in the world! Mater thinks the hubcap would make the perfect wedding gift and heads into the cave in search of it. Since friends don’t let friends go into caves alone, Lightning joins him. While inside, they meet a new friend and help her out of a jam.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The CARS gang enjoy an adventure.
- By Marian K. Anderson-Danner on 09-23-24
By: Disney Press, and others
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
- Disney Classic Stories
- By: Disney Books
- Narrated by: Disney Publishing Worldwide
- Length: 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 80
If you were asked to choose the most fabulous character in English literature, who would it be? Perhaps the one and only Ichabod Crane. When this superstitious schoolmaster moves into the quiet village of Sleepy Hollow, he quickly starts vying for the affection of heiress Katrina Van Tassel. However, this puts him in the path of town bully Brom Bones. Will Ichabod win Katrina's heart, or will he fall victim to the small town's big legend—the Headless Horseman?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful trip down memory lane.
- By Smile on 11-21-24
By: Disney Books
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The Complete Wizard of Oz Collection
- All 22 Stories
- By: L. Frank Baum
- Narrated by: Eric Vincent
- Length: 90 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 535
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 458
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 463
This is the complete Wizard of Oz collection of 22 stories written by L. Frank Baum. This is the only complete collection that includes all the Oz stories. All 22 stories are fully complete. They include the dedication and the introduction of each story/book. In this collection, you will find stories not available in other collections. It even includes stories published after the death of L. Frank Baum.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Audio chapter list below as was missing
- By MM on 04-09-14
By: L. Frank Baum
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Jack And The Beanstalk & Other Stories
- By: BBC Audiobooks
- Narrated by: Lenny Henry, Sheridan Smith
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 470
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 363
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 361
"Jack and the Beanstalk", read by Lenny Henry
"Goldilocks and the Three Bears", read by Sheridan Smith
"Puss in Boots", read by Lenny Henry
"Snow White", read by Sheridan Smith. Here are four fantastic stories, full of magic and fun, that young children are sure to love!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Jack and the beanstalk
- By Amazon Customer on 03-02-21
By: BBC Audiobooks
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Are You Afraid of the Dark? The Official Podcast: Season 2
- By: Nickelodeon Podcasts
- Narrated by: Jeremy Ray Taylor, Mason Versaw, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 63
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 63
Welcome back, horror-lovers, your long wait for new scary vibes is now over. The Midnight Society is back with even more thrills and chills to haunt your airwaves, and now is your chance to become an honorary member. From twisted hauntings from the afterlife lurking in innocent kids’ backyards, to a séance gone terribly wrong, and many other chilling tales, listen if you dare. Only truly brave souls should proceed. You’ve been warned.
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5 out of 5 stars
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We need more....
- By Fernando Zepeda on 11-20-24