All the Worst Humans

How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians

By: Phil Elwood

Narrated by: Holter Graham

Long-listed, New York Times Book Review Notable Books of the Year, 2024

Long-listed, Amazon.com Best Books of the Year, 2024

This program is ready by Audie Award-winning narrator Holter Graham.

A bridge-burning, riotous memoir by a top PR operative in Washington who exposes the secrets of the $129-billion industry that controls so much of what we see and hear in the media—from a man who used to pull the strings, and who is now pulling back the curtain.

After nearly two decades in the Washington PR business, Elwood wants to come clean, by exposing the dark underbelly of the very industry that’s made him so successful. The first step is revealing exactly what he’s been up to for the past twenty years—and it isn’t pretty.

Elwood has worked for a murderer’s row of questionable clients, including Gaddafi, Assad, and the government of Qatar. In All the Worst Humans, Elwood unveils how the PR business works, and how the truth gets made, spun, and sold to the public—not shying away from the gritty details of his unlikely career.

This is a piercing look into the corridors of money, power, politics, and control, all told in Elwood’s disarmingly funny and entertaining voice. He recounts a four-day Las Vegas bacchanal with a dictator’s son, plotting communications strategies against a terrorist organization in Western Africa, and helping to land a Middle Eastern dictator’s wife a glowing profile in Vogue on the same time the Arab Spring broke out. And he reveals all his slippery tricks for seducing journalists in order to create chaos and ultimately cover for politicians, dictators, and spies—the industry-secret tactics that led to his rise as a political PR pro.

Along the way, Phil walks the halls of the Capitol, rides in armored cars through Abuja, and watches his client lose his annual income at the roulette table. But as he moved up the ranks, he felt worse and worse about the sleaziness of it all—until Elwood receives a shocking wake-up call from the FBI. This risky game nearly cost Elwood his life and his freedom. Seeing the light, Elwood decides to change his ways, and his clients, and to tell the full truth about who is the worst human.

A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.

©2024 Phil Elwood (P)2024 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"Hilarious and harrowing, and hard to put down. Indeed, I didn't put it down."—Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking

"Journalists often wonder what spinmasters are doing to influence them. The reality Phil Elwood reveals is worse—and more interesting—than we usually imagine. All the Worst Humans is an exhilarating ride through the underbelly of global power structures."—Ben Smith, author of Traffic and editor in chief of Semafor

"If Hunter S. Thompson billed clients by the hour, it would look like All The Worst Humans by Phil Elwood. The pacing and storytelling propel the book's epic sweep across the darkside of DC and global hotspots. Even the most experienced in PR will learn things they did not know, and Elwood's gripping personal story is an unexpected and wild ride."—Bill McCarren, former Executive Director, National Press Club

Phenomenal

Best book I read this year, voice artist is amazing too. Incredible insight into a the PR industry. Highly recommend.

Wow, what a story!

This gives such an insight into how the real world works. We always wonder about what happens inside the machine and this book is such an honest look inside. Listened as an Audiobook and the narration was great and kept me interested the whole time.

this book is awesome, listen now!

words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. seven unique words, come on

Entertaining walk through a crazy corner of the media world p ok

Having crossed a few of those pathes, I can attest to Elwood’s insight and talent. He’s a terrific arsonist as he puts it. The Qatar Olympics example was wiiiild. Glad he’s putting his talents to use for good now.

Kept it interesting the whole time)

( it pops-up that a review has to be at least 15 words, but my title above communicated what I have to say )

Intriguing and captivating

A first hand look at the underbelly of world leaders, politics and global corruption. Fascinating!

An insightful yet terribly depressing read…

Eye opening to say the least for this ”Pollyanna”! Sad to hear the “insider story” from this man’s perspective. Depressing to learn how life really is carried on by our leadership. Makes me want to seek Ketamine too 🥲…& I’m not a drug user at all!

Eye opening read

One of the best nonfiction books I have ever read. Also the Audible has amazing casting and was very entertaining.

Eye opening!

Great look at the power of the PR machine. Would love a volume 2 with more stories.

The Best Book About the Worst Humans

What happens when you take a bipolar, depressive, former high school debate champ, college flunkee, and give him a job doing PR for dictators and spy agencies? Hilarious mayhem ensues in this well written and well read memoir. This is one of the most enjoyable audio books I’ve heard since COVID.