Affirming

A Memoir of Faith, Sexuality, and Staying in the Church

By: Sally Gary

Narrated by: Sally Gary

What is it like to discover that something you’ve believed all your life might be wrong?

Sally Gary knew since her early adulthood that she was attracted to women. But as a devoted Christian, she felt there was no way to fully embrace this aspect of her identity while remaining faithful. Now, as she prepares to marry the love of her life, she’s ready to speak out about why - and how - her perspective changed.

In this deeply personal memoir, Sally traces the experiences, conversations, and scriptural reading that culminated in her seeing her sexuality as something that made sense within the context of her faith - not outside of it or in opposition to it. Along the way, she addresses specific aspects of her journey that will resonate with many other gay Christians: the loneliness and isolation of her previously celibate life, the futile attempts she made to resist or even “change” her sexual orientation, and the fear of intimacy that followed a lifetime of believing same-sex relationships were sinful.

Sally’s story - one of heritage, learning, courage, and love - is written especially for the generations of LGBTQ Christians after her who are questioning whether they can stay part of the church they call home. It’s a resounding reminder that, just like Sally’s own heart, things can change, and sometimes, when we earnestly search for the truth, we find it in the most unexpected places.

©2021 Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. (P)2021 Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

must read or listen

Encouraging, faithful, hopeful. A required read for the church to remind us that hospitality is a core principle of our life as Christ followers.

Just what I needed!

I found this book by accident, and it was everything I didn’t know I needed. I related to the things discussed so much. It’s comforting to know I am not alone. I highly recommend this book!

A guide for light!

Everything I was looking for in a Christian book for queer folks! Beautiful, heartfelt, Bible based! It’s a MUST read for gay Christians out there!

Such an encouraging perspective

No bashing in this book of anyone on any side of the Lgbtq-people-in-church perspective. Just a very positive and heartfelt description of the author’s journey. Highly recommend it.

A must listen for Christians of every affiliation!

Thank you to Sally Gary for a courageous memoir of struggle and growth. May these stories reach the hearts of all who hear them.

Both moving and educational

Sally Gary touched my heart through her emotional explanation of her lifelong search for scriptural answers on the subject of homosexuality and where it fits within the realm of Christianity. I learned a lot and was inspired to do more research. For a long time I have felt my heart pulling me to a spirit of affirmation, and listening to Sally’s journey was so helpful in illuminating truth around this subject. It was her strong love for God and her desire to please Him which touched me most. I highly recommend this book to all, but especially those Christians who are looking for more insight than simply the “clobber” verses.

Amazing! A must read!

Sally shares so openly and graciously her story of faith and being LGBTQ. She has been such an encouragement to so many that a struggling and this book had helpful advice on how the Christian community can be more like Jesus and supporting to the LGBTQ community. Thank you for your beautiful words Sally! Loved this book and have already bought it for a few people.

Incredible Story

Affirming is an incredible story of one woman’s journey, and the story is continuing to be told.

I’m certain that while this book is about one person’s story it’s a many people can relate to.

It’s a joy to hear Sally Gary tell the story in her own voice.

May her story give voice to many other people and provide a way for them to tell their stories.

Loved it!

This was a wonderful story. I liked the conversation in Chapter 6 and the mention of how homosexuality ended up in the Bible.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Affirming is a true gift. Although the book speaks to people in all faith communities, if you are a member of reformed theology—particularly in the Churches of Christ—you may want to consider reading Affirming. Gary masterfully weaves testimony and theology together, and in her storytelling, she asks readers to empathize. She encourages readers of different sexual orientations and sexual ethics to show hospitality by meeting each other around a table to share, listen, and be fed. At various points, I was laughing or weeping as I thought about my own journey with my family, my faith community, and my theology. For me, this memoir was a breath of fresh air. Shalom.