Accidental Kindness

A Doctor's Notes on Empathy

By: Michael Stein

Narrated by: Alan Carlson

We will all be patients sooner or later. And when we go to the doctor, when we're hurting, we tend to think in terms of cause and condemnation. We often look for relief not only from physical symptoms but also from our self-blame. We want from our doctors kindness under any of its many names: empathy, caring, compassion, humanity. We look for safety and forgiveness. But we forget that doctors, too, are often in need of forgiveness—from their patients and from themselves. No doctor enters the medical profession expecting to be unkind or to make mistakes, but because of the complexity of our current medical system and because doctors are human, they often find themselves acting much less kindly than they would like to. Drawing on his work as a primary care physician and a behavioral scientist, Michael Stein artfully examines the often conflicting goals of patients and their doctors. In those differences, Stein recognizes that kindness should not be a patient's forbidden or unrealistic expectation. This book leaves us with new knowledge of and insights into what we might hope for, and what might go wrong, or right, in the most intimate clinical moments.

©2022 Michael D. Stein (P)2022 The University of North Carolina Press

Critic reviews

"[Stein's] incisive articulation of the emotional challenges faced by doctors is rendered in prose that’s vivid, candid, and shot through with compassion—it makes for an investigation that’s tough to forget. This is a standout."—STARRED review, Publishers Weekly

Well written! Well read!

Really enjoyed this personal, heartfelt account of the medical system from a doctor’s perspective, especially concerning compassion, kindness and how it influences our treatment. Dr. Stein opens his heart and our eyes! Reads like an interesting one on one conversation, a well-told story of experience.