Acceptance

A Memoir

By: Emi Nietfeld

Narrated by: Julia Knippen

“Nietfeld’s gifts for capturing the fury of living at the mercy of bad circumstances, for critiquing the hero’s journey even while she tells it, make Acceptance a remarkable memoir.” —The New York Times Book Review

A hard-hitting and hilarious memoir of ambition, desperation, and the dark side of grit

Growing up in a house filled with dirty feather boas and fearless mice, Emi Nietfeld dreams of escaping to the Ivy League. Emi’s single mom believes in her, but can’t stop hoarding—catapulting Emi into the underworld of troubled teen treatment, foster care, and homelessness. When her shot arrives to trade sleeping in her car for the hallowed halls of an elite college, Emi must decide: How far will she go to market herself as a perfect “overcomer” when her problems are far from over? And what will it cost to maintain that illusion at Harvard and into adulthood?

From journalist, mental health advocate, and software engineer Emi Nietfeld, this searing coming-of-age story is both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it. Exposing the price of trading a troubled past for the promise of a bright future, Nietfeld explores whether any amount of success can make trauma worth it. With a ribbon of dark humor, Acceptance challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and live on your own terms.

©2022 Emi Nietfeld (P)2022 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“Heart-pounding. . . . Nietfeld’s raw resilience and candor will keep readers enthralled until the very last page. This hits hard.” —Publishers Weekly

“A complex meditation on desperation, leveraging personal pain, and how the drive to achieve can be a gift and a pathology simultaneously. . . . A powerful memoir of overcoming adversity that also effectively interrogates the concept of meritocracy.” —Kirkus (starred review)

“[A] captivating page-turner. . . . She expertly describes the determined mindset with which she tackled seemingly unrealistic goals while also battling almost impossible setbacks; readers will find themselves rooting for Nietfeld. . . . A gripping firsthand account of a teenager navigating homelessness and the foster care system. It should appeal to many and may be of particular interest to school counselors, foster parents, psychologists, social workers, and others who work with children in difficult situations.” —Library Journal

Incredibly relatable to what I suspect are many of us

Many themes I found to be woot on with my own, damaged childhood as well as parental figures and episodes. The best part is the epilogue: her final realizations struck a cord with me through my own attempts at healing. Highly recommend to devour this memoir.

A heartbreaking insight to a teen’s view of life in the system

This looked like a ‘must read’ after I read an essay by Nietfeld. I listened to parts of this book while remodeling a former group foster home, already angry at the poor condition of a house that was supposed to provide safety and comfort to youth in the system. This book is heartbreaking and insightful. It helps give a better understanding to the roadblocks encountered, and emotions felt, by teens as they try to navigate the complicated bureaucracies designed to provide help. Far too many youth are traumatized in some way by these systems and Nietfeld’s narrative walks readers through the various ways and places this can happen. While the outcome of her professional life looks great on paper, this book helps us understand the nuances of pain and trauma underneath. I fear there are too many similar stories, of youth who love their parents but cannot live with them and cannot get all the assistance needed to support them to adulthood. I appreciated this bold story and the effort I imagine it took to tell it to the whole world.

Poignant

Heartfelt, earnest, funny, awe-inspiring, heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your story, Emi; we have much to learn from it.

Deeply impactful book

I found this book completely by chance while surfing the internet and I’m so glad I did. Emi’s story is so real and her honesty is refreshing, despite being hard to hear at times. Her analysis of societal expectations and norms and the way they worked both for and against her was fascinating to think about. She touches on politically charged topics like white privilege without being offensive or accusatory toward any viewpoint on the subject matter. She is matter-of-fact, and I think that makes her story relatable for people from all kinds of different backgrounds and belief systems. A valuable insight into the systems that fail young people in America and how even the ones that succeed in some ways, still aren’t perfect. Emi’s story is one of succeeding and failing at the same time, living in the middle of a messy life. It’s unlike anything I’ve read. Highly recommend giving it a read or a listen. The narrator for the audiobook has a pleasant voice, although she mispronounced a couple of words. Nothing major though. All around an excellent book that kept me interested from start to finish!

Resilience defined

The author is the portrait of resilience. It gives hope that moving on from trauma and realizing success is alive and well!

so many familiar thoughts in here

the feeling of not being loved or held as a child, developing into the lack of self worth and immediate self blame for incidents even those out of my control are familiar. the drive to succeed sand out pace everyone around is not. mine feelings of not bringing and self doubt had me stuck unable to decide on best path forward while Emi felt that but kept moving forward actually asked those sensations to propel her forward, that's the biggest difference. acceptance is a big deal, self acceptance is a life long struggle.

Youth, Dreams and Reality

Emi documents her personal experience as an at risk youth growing up in a troubled environment. The epilogue captures how she processes her youthful memories into a young adult life as she attempts to consolidate her life experience. Touched me dearly as I strive to raise teenage children in this complicated world.

Brutally Honest & Brave

I commend the author on her bravery and openness, providing a peek into a version of what it takes to attain the American Dream that most people dare not share.

Every day person memoir that just grips your heart

What a tragic and triumphant story. The resilience factors needed to survive were amazing. So happy for a dem happy ending. I know living with trauma will always be there but Emi seems to be able to navigate these struggles. Kuddos

Amazing

The end was so beautiful to me I remember when my mom who had anxiety and depression problems was dying and I wanted her to acknowledge how she wasn’t there for me and she couldn’t.