12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action
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12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
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Narrated by:
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Matthew Boston
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By:
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Allen Berger PhD
About this listen
The author of the classic 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety.
Whether it's called "dry drunk" or "white knuckle sobriety," it's that stage in recovery when we realize that "putting the plug in the jug" isn't enough. The next step is taking responsibility for the emotional immaturity that fuels our addictive personality and has a tremendous impact on ourselves and others.
Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
It is in these practices that we find release from what Bill W. described as an "absolute dependency" on people or circumstances, and develop the tools to find prestige, security, and belonging within.
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The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- By: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrated by: Linda Henning
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 143
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 111
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 111
You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 275
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 233
In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story5 out of 5 stars 67
Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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Perfectly Hidden Depression
- How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression
- By: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
- Narrated by: Eleanor Caudill
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53
If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Kimberly Davis on 10-27-20
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 201
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 169
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Story5 out of 5 stars 169
When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 565
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 474
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Story5 out of 5 stars 470
In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,053
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 917
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 914
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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2 out of 5 stars
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 402
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 342
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 343
Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Prodependence
- Moving Beyond Codependency
- By: Robert Weiss
- Narrated by: Corey Gagne
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 95
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 93
In Prodependence, Weiss presents a research-based social and psychological understanding of human interdependence, accepting and even celebrating human interdependency in ways that are healthy and life-affirming for each person.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great content but horrible voice
- By Amazon Customer on 03-23-21
By: Robert Weiss
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The Addictive Personality
- Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior, Second Edition
- By: Craig Nakken
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 211
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 171
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 168
For over two decades, The Addictive Personality has helped people understand the process of addiction. Now, through this second edition, author Craig Nakken brings new depth and dimension to our understanding of how an individual becomes an addict. Going beyond the definition that limits dependency to the realm of alcohol and other drugs, Nakken uncovers the common denominator of all addiction and describes how the process is progressive.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent book!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-24-19
By: Craig Nakken
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Emotional Chaos to Clarity
- How to Live More Skillfully, Make Better Decisions, and Find Purpose in Life
- By: Phillip Moffitt
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 170
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 140
Despite our best-laid plans, life can often be difficult, disappointing, and stressful. Consequently, when things don’t go right, we are often left in a state of emotional chaos, dealing with feelings like anger, anxiety, frustration, and doubt, which can cloud our perspective and negatively affect the way we live our lives. But in this inspiring book, Phillip Moffitt shows us that we need not be at the mercy of our emotions. By cultivating a responsive mind rather than a reactive one, we can achieve a state of emotional clarity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You Are Not Your Emotions
- By Sara on 10-23-14
By: Phillip Moffitt
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How to Be an Adult in Relationships
- The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
- By: David Richo
- Narrated by: David Richo
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 732
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 606
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 603
"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Missing text
- By Annah Nimouse on 07-26-19
By: David Richo
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 305
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 257
Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story5 out of 5 stars 18
The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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5 out of 5 stars
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Men's Work
- A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom
- By: Connor Beaton
- Narrated by: Connor Beaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 90
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 80
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 79
In Men’s Work, ManTalks founder Connor Beaton offers the tactical, self-led guide men have been looking for. Here, he destigmatizes inner work by reframing it as a kind of psychological warrior training that many men can relate to and have been craving. Beaton walks you through a framework for facing the hidden and rejected aspects of yourself—factors that lead to self-sabotage, anxiety, and depression.
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5 out of 5 stars
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From a woman’s perspective
- By NBB on 03-21-23
By: Connor Beaton
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 801
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 693
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 682
Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Nothing new
- By MsJulyswimwear on 07-25-20
By: Philip Goldberg, and others
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To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and True...the humor helps us to earnestly reflect inward. Very powerful. Thank you!
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Emotional Sobriety
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Do you use substances or engage in compulsive activities to regulate your mood? Do you reach for something sweet, a couple of drinks, or a pack of cigarettes after a difficult day because you can't unwind without them? Do you race to the stores to spend away the day's frustrations or run around in circles taking more time to get less done? If these self-defeating habits sound familiar, Emotional Sobriety will shed light on why and how these coping mechanisms threaten your health and impact resilience
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Book for those from Dysfunction
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Healing the Addicted Brain
- The Revolutionary, Science-Based Alcoholism and Addiction Recovery Program
- By: Harold C. Urschel III MD
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 136
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Healing the Addicted Brain is a breakthrough work that focuses on treating drug and alcohol addiction as a biological disease - based on the Recovery Science program that has helped thousands of patients defeat their addictions. It combines the best behavioral addiction treatments with the latest scientific research into brain functions, providing tools and strategies designed to overcome the biological factors that cause addictive behavior along with proven treatments and medications.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Helps you understand what addicted person feels
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The Art of Self-Therapy
- How to Grow, Gain Self-Awareness, and Understand Your Emotions (The Path to Calm, Book 8)
- By: Nick Trenton
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Story4 out of 5 stars 13
Learn about why you do the things you do, and why you think the way you think. It's not always so simple. The Art of Self-Therapy is a book that introduces you to yourself. We all have unique beliefs and thought patterns that influence our behavior. Are you happy with all of the outcomes your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors create for you? Or do you frequently feel unstable, confused, lost, or out of control?
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5 out of 5 stars
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riveting
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Unf--k Your Brain
- By: Faith G. Harper PhD LPC-S ACS ACN
- Narrated by: Faith G. Harper PhD LPC-S ACS ACN
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 19,195
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 16,791
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Story4 out of 5 stars 16,572
Our brains do their best to help us out, but every so often they can be real assholes - having meltdowns, getting addicted to things, or shutting down completely at the worst possible moments. Your brain knows it's not good to do these things, but it can't help it sometimes - especially if it's obsessing about trauma it can't overcome. That's where this life-changing book comes in. With humor, patience, science, and lots of good-ole swearing, Dr. Faith explains what's going on in your skull, and talks you through the process of retraining your brain to respond appropriately....
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1 out of 5 stars
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Untuck this recording quality
- By Martin J. Fogarty on 07-25-18
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F--k Your Feelings: Master Your Mind, Accomplish Anything and Become a More Significant Human
- By: Ryan Munsey
- Narrated by: Ryan Munsey
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,520
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,292
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95 percent of decisions are based on feelings. Not logic. Not rational thought. Feelings. Can you feel the pull of emotions, hunger, guilt, pain, jealously, depression, and everything else weighing on every decision that you make? Business owners, entrepreneurs, regular people looking to get in shape, anyone with a goal that isn't terrified of tough love - you need to listen to F--k Your Feelings - as soon as possible! In this audiobook you'll learn how to use personal mind control techniques to control the way your brain is wired and much more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Science heavy for those of us who want the why
- By Beth T. Irwin on 10-29-18
By: Ryan Munsey
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12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
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- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 28
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and True...the humor helps us to earnestly reflect inward. Very powerful. Thank you!
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Do you use substances or engage in compulsive activities to regulate your mood? Do you reach for something sweet, a couple of drinks, or a pack of cigarettes after a difficult day because you can't unwind without them? Do you race to the stores to spend away the day's frustrations or run around in circles taking more time to get less done? If these self-defeating habits sound familiar, Emotional Sobriety will shed light on why and how these coping mechanisms threaten your health and impact resilience
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Book for those from Dysfunction
- By Amanda on 09-07-13
By: Tian Dayton
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Healing the Addicted Brain
- The Revolutionary, Science-Based Alcoholism and Addiction Recovery Program
- By: Harold C. Urschel III MD
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 136
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 111
Healing the Addicted Brain is a breakthrough work that focuses on treating drug and alcohol addiction as a biological disease - based on the Recovery Science program that has helped thousands of patients defeat their addictions. It combines the best behavioral addiction treatments with the latest scientific research into brain functions, providing tools and strategies designed to overcome the biological factors that cause addictive behavior along with proven treatments and medications.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Helps you understand what addicted person feels
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Our brains do their best to help us out, but every so often they can be real assholes - having meltdowns, getting addicted to things, or shutting down completely at the worst possible moments. Your brain knows it's not good to do these things, but it can't help it sometimes - especially if it's obsessing about trauma it can't overcome. That's where this life-changing book comes in. With humor, patience, science, and lots of good-ole swearing, Dr. Faith explains what's going on in your skull, and talks you through the process of retraining your brain to respond appropriately....
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1 out of 5 stars
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Untuck this recording quality
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F--k Your Feelings: Master Your Mind, Accomplish Anything and Become a More Significant Human
- By: Ryan Munsey
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,292
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95 percent of decisions are based on feelings. Not logic. Not rational thought. Feelings. Can you feel the pull of emotions, hunger, guilt, pain, jealously, depression, and everything else weighing on every decision that you make? Business owners, entrepreneurs, regular people looking to get in shape, anyone with a goal that isn't terrified of tough love - you need to listen to F--k Your Feelings - as soon as possible! In this audiobook you'll learn how to use personal mind control techniques to control the way your brain is wired and much more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Science heavy for those of us who want the why
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What listeners say about 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Derek Nicholson
- 09-16-22
Excellent
A game changing book. Written to be understood with life experiences being it’s driving force.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- rdkemper
- 08-12-23
Rich exploration and application of ES principles
Equally challenging and comforting, this audiobook is thoroughly engaging. Berger’s observations and recommendations within the context of recovery programs and psychotherapy has opened new horizons and new patterns of thought for me.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- wendy scotto
- 11-26-22
Great ideas but reader
Read too fast and in a bit of a monotone. Too fast to process the content
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