Funny Clean

Dubious diamond devotees and a dead loan shark. With the dad she thought dead suspected of murder, can she keep him from doing hard time? Elizabeth Trout thinks she must have rocks in her head. After receiving a crazy call that the father she never knew is cooling his heels in the local jail, the newlywed graphic designer posts bail and invites him home. But the family reunion loses its luster when she learns her old man is under suspicion for murder after he was found near a corpse. With the sheriff zeroing in on her dad and no other suspects on ice, Elizabeth starts her own investigation ...

My new remodeling client is about to get the upgrade of his life. It isn’t every day I arrive at a worksite to find my new client is the deputy who gave me a traffic ticket the day before. It is fairly normal for people to be taken aback when they find a petite redhead in overalls on their doorstep, ready to renovate their house. That'd be me, and it's so awkward. Every. Single. Time. Whatever. I'll show Clint by virtue of my work ethic and skills that I'm the right woman for the job. Of course, if a fortune cookie paper predicting that we'd fall in love didn't slip out of the air duct, ...

From NY Times and USA Today Bestselling author Josie Litton, writing as J.K. Litton, a wickedly funny cozy romantic mystery for the holidays"A quirky, funny, small town mystery that had me smiling and laughing--" Amazon reader "Loved this story, I could not put it down"--Amazon reader "Intrigue, humor and small town appeal"--Amazon reader "A captivating whodunit, a charming town with quirky characters and a second chance at love"--Amazon reader When Santa turns up dead in his sled during the holiday pageant in the charming Westchester County village of Mulberry Falls, former paralegal ...

It isn’t easy being adored by the hunky Hollywood bachelor who's my new neighbor. Okay, sure, that part might be easy. But, I never asked for the celebrity next door to keep coming around, offering to help me on my farm. He can keep his winning smiles to himself and quit trying to make me laugh, because there’s one little problem: We were best friends once, and he doesn’t even remember. Now he’s shoveling things I don’t want to shovel and working shirtless under the hot sun while I’m very much not looking. Though he’s kind and funny and everything I’ve ever wanted, I keep ...

Fantastic possibilities and terrible consequences. When her job interview goes down in flames, archaeologist Dr. Arienne Cerasola makes a desperate decision to get her life back on track. Returning to the thing that wrecked her life in the first place isn’t rational, but magic is the only option she has. To find a legendary healing tree and save her friends, Ari must outsmart magic practitioners way more talented and prepared than she is. Can she beat the competition to the prize, or is another magical disaster inevitable? Elementary Magic is the first book in R. Leonia Shea’s urban ...

With over 3,000 jokes, this audiobook is a great addition to any family library and is sure to provide listeners of all ages with limitless pleasure. Explore the world of timeless dad jokes that are so funny they make you grin, sharp one-liners that will surprise you, smart puns that play on words in the funniest ways, and short humorous stories that will make you laugh. There's something in this collection for every age group to appreciate, be they young, old, or somewhere in between.

From NY Times and USA Today Bestselling author Josie Litton, writing as J.K. Litton, a wickedly funny cozy romantic mystery for the holidays The charming Westchester County village of Mulberry Falls is ringing in the New Year in style. On the village green, revelers are counting down the seconds to midnight. But when the pop of champagne corks is interrupted by gunshots, the fun goes flat. It’s up to local sleuth Verity Valence and her former high school boyfriend, Detective Ethan Lowell to cut through the confetti and catch a killer. Either that or risk Mulberry Falls’ new year ...

My heart’s a mess, but a charming veterinarian might have all the right remedies. The last place I thought I’d be after becoming a pediatrician is back in my hometown. I was supposed to be traveling the world, running medical clinics for underprivileged children, with a man who should have proposed by now. Instead, he dumped me. Wait. What? With my life on hold, I’ve sought refuge running a mobile pediatric clinic. The work is satisfying, and I have a great view of the hunky veterinarian across the street. Milo Fox is arguably the hottest bachelor in a 50-mile radius. With my heart in...

This marriage will be a convenient business arrangement and nothing more. No strings attached, and above all—no broken hearts. Growing up in a broken home taught me to watch out for myself, and that the only love out there is what I create. That's why I stick to taking care of my baby sister and the hodgepodge of wildlife I volunteer to rehabilitate. Add in a stray puppy I found under the car with the help of Wil, a grumpy single dad move-in to Button Blossom, and everything’s good. He's cute. (The puppy, not Wil…well, okay. Wil's broody, which also makes him a teensy bit hot.) Except...

I want the simple life—which means I’m staying far away from any and all bad boys. Me and love? We aren’t friends. My ex broke my heart, and I can do without that again, thank you very much. So I’ve chosen as uncomplicated a life as I can find—working as a server at a small-town diner. Except trouble just walked in, with a capital T. Preacher, a retired football star, is six glorious feet of incredible good looks and a teasing smile that threatens to derail my plans. He pretends he's a confident playboy, but I can see through the ruse. It's an armor someone who's been hurt wears ...

Can her magic save the world—before his curse destroys it?Shy, awkward Dru never believed she had what it takes to be a true sorceress. That's why she’s been running a little crystal shop on the rough side of Denver, selling potions and charms to the larger-than-life spellcasters who defend the world against the forces of darkness. But when she accidentally touches hands with a dangerously handsome stranger, sparks fly — literally — and he supercharges her crystal magic powers. Ironically, Greyson doesn’t know a thing about magic. But his screaming-fast muscle car is possessed by ...

Gorgeous football star, paparazzi, and stolen jewelry are too much for this small town librarian. Librarian by day, single mom 24/7– romance was the last thing on my mind. Then Chet Bennett, my kid brother’s friend turned football superstar, Moves back to his grandparents’ house to escape paparazzi – Suddenly, my predictable life is flipped upside down. From day one, my son is star struck And my daughter can’t stop admiring how handsome he is. My heart needs to stop flipping every time Chet flashes that charming smile. But he’s that kid – Who gave my brother the idea to steal ...

Sinister secrets hidden by the tranquil waters of an Ozarks lake. Can married amateur sleuths bait and capture a killer before the truth slips away? Kirkus Reviews—“A fine whodunit featuring a delightful cast whom readers will love—or love to hate.” After newlyweds Elizabeth and Jonas Trout arrive to settle her grandmother's estate, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a treacherous mystery when Elizabeth is implicated in the murder of the property manager. With mounting evidence and the Southern small-town sheriff convinced of her guilt, Elizabeth and Jonas must fish for clues...

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

A deadly premonition. A killer at large. A group of suspicious vendors. Maybe hosting a craft fair during Halloween was a bad idea. When a craft fair comes to the small town of Crystal Falls during Halloween, no one expects the event to end in murder. To make matters worse, all the evidence points to Cliff, the man Luke’s mom is in love with, as the prime suspect. Luke makes it a personal quest to help his mom, but as incriminating clues are discovered, he starts to wonder if Cliff’s innocence is a sure thing. The investigation intensifies as the craft fair vendors reveal hidden secrets...

Welcome to Pettett & Mayfield, a once-grand central London department store now fallen on harder times, despite the eccentric owner's schemes to attract customers. But from the basement kitchenware department through to the top floor management offices, love and faith can still find a home. You never forget your first love... especially if they broke your heart! With her eye for design and her cut-glass accent, no-one would guess Beth Forrest’s poorer background. It’s all throw pillows, china patterns, and upper class brides in the Wedding Registry at Pettett & Mayfield. So it's not ...

Rose and Larry Wilford are hitting the highway on their next RV adventure. Ben and Betsy Stevenson are right behind them in their 5th wheel. The other two Early Birds, Jeff and Mary Wells, promise to hook up with them as soon as they finish some ‘business’ in Colorado. On their way to Florida, the foursome make a stop in Mississippi. Soon Rosie wonders if they’ll ever get On the Road Again. The RVs have stalled in Biloxi and it has nothing to do with mechanical issues in any of their rigs. They’ve found another church that needs their help. Rose, Betsy and Mary spend their days as ...

She must protect the apocalypse scroll, or else the world will come to a fiery end. No pressure or anything.Crystal sorceress Dru Jasper has become the unwilling guardian of an ancient instrument of destruction. Its world-ending power is held in check by only a single wax seal. Which seems like maybe a huge design flaw, but whatever. Now insidious spirits who can kill by touch are trying to get their clutches on the apocalypse scroll and break the final seal. To stop them, Dru needs a rare crystal older than the Earth itself. But it’s hidden in a meteorite crater deep in the desert, and ...

101 Hilarious Jokes is a funny collection of clean one-liners, silly puns, and dad jokes. Perfect for family nights and road and plane trips. Try not to laugh! Appropriate for kids, teens, and adults.

Dru has only 24 hours to save the world. It’s definitely going to be an all-nighter.Being the world’s only crystal sorceress means no vacation time, lousy pay, and zero benefits. But what’s worse? Finding out there actually is another crystal sorceress—who happens to be wickedly powerful and also dead-set on destroying the world. When she breaks into Dru’s shop, sets the place on fire, and steals an apocalyptic amulet, it’s hard not to take things personally. What’s a girl to do? Hit the road in a high-speed chase to get that amulet back before the seas boil, the stars fall ...