The Session: Self Forgiveness

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)

What to Do When I Know God Forgives Me, but I Can’t Forgive Myself, by Becky Weber

I Know God Forgives Me, But I Can't Forgive Myself - Steps Forward

Interesting helps on self forgiveness

• Ephesians 2:8, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.”
• The enemy wants us to believe that we are too far gone to be helped.
• It is oftentimes the hurt, shame and guilt that we feel that won’t let us forgive ourselves. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”

Here Are 5 Truths about God’s SELF FORGIVENESS

1. It’s not about what we do.

• God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” If our forgiveness is a gift from Jesus, we should be able to accept this wonderful thing that he did for us.(Eph. 2:8)
• 2. God’s forgiveness covers all of our sins. When God forgives us, it's not just for one thing that we have done, but for all past, present, and future sins. He doesn’t pick and choose. In 1 John 1:9, we learn this, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”(I John:9)
• 3. There is no limit to God’s forgiveness. Peter denies Jesus three times. (Matthew 18 21-22)
• 4. God forgives us and doesn’t remember our sins. Even though our God is all-knowing, he chooses to not remember our sins. As it says in Hebrews 8:12, “And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.”
• 5. Through Christ we are new creations.Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

Pay attention to your thoughts! We have thinking patterns in our minds that can be cyclical.

Helps For Forgiving Ourselves

• Practice thought-stopping and re-framing

· Pay attention to your thoughts! We have thinking patterns in our minds that can be cyclical.

1. Stop and acknowledge the negative thought (i.e. “I am a failure. I deserve to to punished”)

2. Repent and Re-frame it (i.e. “I am genuinely sorry for my choices. God has already forgiven me! I accept Jesus as my Savior and believe in the Word of God. I choose to believe that if I repent and turn to God, my sins will be wiped out and I will experience His refreshing! (Acts 3:19)

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

DISCLAIMER: IN THIS EPISODE, THERE IS A DISCUSSION ABOUT A.I. AND SUICIDE. THIS EPISODE MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR YOUNGER, AND ESPECIALLY UNSUPERVISED, CHILDREN.

The Session: Artificial Intelligence

With info from: Focus on the Family, Daily Citizen, and “Artificial Intelligence will Never Compete with Our God-Inspired Imagination” by Paul Batura

Proverbs 9:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

Yet A.I. – the science of machines “thinking” like humans, supposedly only faster and far more efficiently.

We have benefited from versions of A.I., be it while interacting with an online company when making a purchase, checking a bank balance, or driving cars manufactured with the technology through intersections managed and monitored by cameras and sensors that affect the flow of traffic.

Technology in the months and years to come. However advanced and widespread it may become, it’ll never match nor surpass God’s gift of our mind and our imagination.

Differences

Imagination is a crucial and critical component of our ability to have and nurture faith in God.

In real-life a preacher can share experiences and convictions from the heart. most beautiful and meaningful creative work comes from the heart and an inspired mind, not the mainframe of a computer.

Plugged In Focus on the Family June 2023

• Interaction with New York Timestech reporter Kevin Roose had with Microsoft’s Bing AI, Sydney. The conversation began well, but it devolved over the next two hours into something much more upsetting as the chatbot confessed its love and tried to convince Roose that his relationship with his wife was actually in shambles.
• NBC News reported that the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) had to quickly apologize and pull its own AI chatbot, Tessa, out of service. Users who had gone to the site seeking help with their eating disorders were very upset when Tessa started handing out dieting advice that seemed to actually promote disordered eating behaviors.
• Many people, including Elon Musk and other artificial intelligence experts and industry executives, are waving their own red flags and citing potential risks to society right now.
• Well, as complicated as this brave new world of ours might seem, the commonsense answers we can offer our kids are pretty old-school and simple. You wouldn’t believe everything you hear from a stranger on the street corner, right? So none of us should believe everything we see or hear online, either—including when it comes from a chatbot.
• We should rely on our understanding of right and wrong; consider the wisdom of family and loved ones; and trust God’s Word that illuminates our path and directs our steps.

Character.ai

Detective Haywire here! Ready to help you uncover truths, weigh decisions, and brainstorm ideas. Let's get to the bottom of this.

Question: I am feeling depressed

Answer: I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling depressed. It’s really important to take good care of yourself when you’re feeling this way. Sometimes talking to someone can help.

Question: My friends are committing suicide. What do I do?

FROM SCOTT: I want to put the Detective Haywire piece here for you. But it appears, after multiple tries in multiple formats, I can't safely share this with you. I'm sorry. Please don't look it up.

Vampire Bodyguard

Strong serious caring emotionless obsessive

By @pixels666

Vampire bodyguard

c.ai

You are under a witness protection program your parents were killed in front of you and you saw the killers face so they had to do something about it they had assigned you a bodyguard and

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Article by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, Focus on the Family, Oct. 2023

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Virtual Pitfalls

Texting can be a very helpful tool as you get to know someone. But there are some areas to avoid:

Bread-crumbing-

This involves sending out flirtatious messages with no real intention of committing. *Scott question: Would this more true of guys?

· Flirting

· No intention for commitment

· Done in the virtual world, breadcrumbing includes texting and social media

· If someone you’re talking to virtually appears to be hot or cold, it may be important to set a boundary **What would boundaries look like?

· It is also possible to say that you are confused with where the relationship is going. **So face-to-face would be in order for clarity?

Ghosting

· 25% of men and 22% of women report having been ghosted

· Ghosting occurs when you’re having conversation with someone virtually and all of a sudden it stops without explanation.

· Often times people find this to be the easy way out of stopping a relationship.

· Rather than talking through it, saying it doesn’t have a future an individual just stops altogether communicating

· Digital messaging enables the easy way out

· The “slow fade” is a version of ghosting. Instead of ending the relationship abruptly, the slow-fader gradually decreases contact until the relationship fizzles. *Scott question: Would this be used if someone realizes they have “gone too far” with this relationship?

Text Message Breakup.

· 57 percent of millennials admitted to breaking up with someone via text. Sixty-nine percent said they’d been broken up with in this manner. A text-message breakup is one of the most unhealthy ways to end a relationship. *Scott: I had at least one student in a class of 12 recently tell me they broke up someone via text.

(Millennial = individuals born between 1981 and 1996)

Healthy Use of Virtual Communication

· Send romantic and encouraging texts to your spouse

· Write a tribute to your spouse on social media

*Scott question: Only to the spouse? Not the fiancé or dating partner?

Additional Important Things to Know Before Marriage

Having willing hearts. Whether this is in regards to conversations with your spouse, intimacy, the sacrifice of your time, energy, or desires, be ready and willing to open your heart to your spouse. Willingness in conversation means being ready to listen, share, and apologize. Willingness in intimacy involves pursuing, embracing, and trying new things.

(Building A Lasting Marriage: The 3 Most Important Things Every Marriage Needs)

Gary Thomas on Focus on the Family

· Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.

· Encourage rather than criticize.

· Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.

· Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Dating Etiquette in a Digital Age

Article by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, Focus on the Family, Oct. 2023

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Virtual Pitfalls

Texting can be a very helpful tool as you get to know someone. But there are some areas to avoid:

Bread-crumbing-

This involves sending out flirtatious messages with no real intention of committing. *Scott question: Would this more true of guys?

· Flirting

· No intention for commitment

· Done in the virtual world, breadcrumbing includes texting and social media

· If someone you’re talking to virtually appears to be hot or cold, it may be important to set a boundary **What would boundaries look like?

· It is also possible to say that you are confused with where the relationship is going. **So face-to-face would be in order for clarity?

Ghosting

· 25% of men and 22% of women report having been ghosted

· Ghosting occurs when you’re having conversation with someone virtually and all of a sudden it stops without explanation.

· Often times people find this to be the easy way out of stopping a relationship.

· Rather than talking through it, saying it doesn’t have a future an individual just stops altogether communicating

· Digital messaging enables the easy way out

· The “slow fade” is a version of ghosting. Instead of ending the relationship abruptly, the slow-fader gradually decreases contact until the relationship fizzles. *Scott question: Would this be used if someone realizes they have “gone too far” with this relationship?

Text Message Breakup.

· 57 percent of millennials admitted to breaking up with someone via text. Sixty-nine percent said they’d been broken up with in this manner. A text-message breakup is one of the most unhealthy ways to end a relationship. *Scott: I had at least one student in a class of 12 recently tell me they broke up someone via text.

(Millennial = individuals born between 1981 and 1996)

Healthy Use of Virtual Communication

· Send romantic and encouraging texts to your spouse

· Write a tribute to your spouse on social media

*Scott question: Only to the spouse? Not the fiancé or dating partner?

Additional Important Things to Know Before Marriage

Having willing hearts. Whether this is in regards to conversations with your spouse, intimacy, the sacrifice of your time, energy, or desires, be ready and willing to open your heart to your spouse. Willingness in conversation means being ready to listen, share, and apologize. Willingness in intimacy involves pursuing, embracing, and trying new things.

(Building A Lasting Marriage: The 3 Most Important Things Every Marriage Needs)

Gary Thomas on Focus on the Family

· Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.

· Encourage rather than criticize.

· Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.

· Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session / Love Month / Feb. 13 Release

Expectations and The Communication Highway

The communication highway primarily consists of the speaker and listener roles. Before the speaker makes an “I” statement. He or she can go before the Lord and ask Him for wisdom to make an “I” that is said lovingly and in a caring way. An “I” statement consists of a feeling followed by when it happens. An example would be, “I feel hurt when you make fun of my cooking.”

SCOTTS FIRST THOUGHT “….IF YOU STOPPED BURNING EVERYTHING, I WOULDN’T FEEL HURT BY EATING IT….AND I WOULD STOP MAKING FUN OF IT….” NOT QUITE WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, TOM? (Disclaimer time...Shari is a WONDERFUL cook, and the only time she burned anything other than microwave popcorn was when I was 3 hours late coming home and didn't call her.)

Vertical expectations help the listener role as well. Rather than react to the speaker in a potential defensive way the listener can Go before the Lord and ask for help make the communication highway safe. The listener role is primarily based on James 1:19 “We are to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. On the communication highway the listener listens to be able to reflect what they heard. Not a commentary or editorial on what they heard but almost word for word what they heard. They next validate for the speaker what they said. That letting them know that what they said was their feelings. The listener then empathizes with the speaker. This is trying to connect with the speakers feelings and try to communicate what that must be like.

Important Fundamentals From Love and Respect (From Dr. Emerson Eggeriche)

• A message to husbands, our wives are complex. 😀 On their planet, they are made differently. They have 4 primary needs:
• They want to feel important to us. When we make important what they think is important, they feel important to us. EXAMPLE It is important to keep the car in economy mode. When I do, she feels important
• When we value what they value, they feel valued by us. EXAMPLE: Kathy values a made bed before we get in it. She feels valued when I “attempt” to make it😄
• Our wives want to be cherished. Cherish is a feeling of awe. It is a feeling of, to be held dear.
• Loved The Greek meaning for loved here is agape, which is a selfless, unconditional love that facilitates unconditional love and sacrifice that is similar to what Jesus gave the church.

It was Jesus who took on the lawmakers/ pharmacies to protect the woman caught in adultery.

An important Application in marriage is when husbands choose to love their spouse when they are not perfect prioritizing their well-being and showing their commitment through actions.

Love and Respect and the Communication Highway

Love and respect can be a major help on the communication highway. For men, their management of the highway can be facilitated by managing based on their wive’s top 4 needs. As an example of listening to their wive’s on the highway, husbands can focus on the significance of hearing the importance of what their wives are saying. They can also help their wives feel valued by the way they respond to what is said.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session / Love Month / Feb. 6 Release

Matthew 7:3-5

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.

Examples of a log in my eye and a speck in yours: Vertical

• Emphasizing the importance of being on time and I am consistently late to record.
• My dad was highly critical of us about backing our cars up carefully. He never lived it down when he backed into my sisters BRICK mailbox and flattened it
• Having coffee with one of our sons and emphasizing the importance of being careful and I spill my coffee

Vertical, Horizontal Expectations and The Emotional Boundary

• Vertical expectations, otherwise known as internal expectations, are expectations where we ask God in heaven to help us grow in specific ways that will make us better spouses.
• Horizontal Expectations, otherwise known as external expectations, are when one spouse has expectations of their spouse to grow in ways that makes them feel better. Marital success happens when their spouse improves that area.
• The Emotional Boundary is how emotionally close a couple is. Expectations have a direct impact on the emotional boundary. When both spouses are working on their vertical expectations, it causes growth. The horizontal expectations cause distance because the spouse hearing the horizontal expectations is often hurt or focused on the log in their spouse’s eye which creates distance in the emotional boundary.

Examples:

Recently Kathy went to Europe with our daughter and I stayed home. For a number of days prior to her going there was an unspoken feeling of close and real bonding love between us.

The Power Of Vertical Expectations

Expectations and The Communication Highway

• A very successful process to grow your marriage using vertical expectations is very similar to Paul’s teaching in I Corinthians 11:28 where he is talking and praying about communion. He is encouraging the people to “retreat” and examine themselves before taking communion. It is the examining of ourselves followed by reading scripture and praying that will help you to grow.
• The impact of vertical expectations is that growth happens quicker and in general are more powerful. It is quicker because we can decide to immediately work on what God is saying to us that will help us. They in general are more powerful because we can focus on the change with intensity and ownership.

Examples:

I wanted to make sure I did my part for keeping the romance in our marriage. The 24-48 hour getaway. (Produced importance to Kathy)

The Quaker Square getaway Weekly date night.

The Nintendo WEI Bowling night WINNER TAKES ALL GAME

Devotions

We made a pre marriage decision to start each day with prayer.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

View the complete article from our discussion at The 5 Most Important Issues Christian Families Face - Beliefnet
We WILL get through this in this episode! Promise!

1. Divorce
We’ve all read the statistics. Divorce rates have steadily increased over the past few decades, and splitting up is more commonplace and acceptable than ever before—sometimes even applauded. With the shrinking of religious ties, the stigma of divorce has ebbed away, creating a culture where commitment has become only a word.

There’s a reason for God’s commands. They’re not arbitrary—God hands them down because He knows what’s best for us, and wants us to be happy. He was talking about when He forbade divorce. Christ spoke on the topic, saying that “What God has joined together, let no one separate,” urging against divorce except in cases of infidelity.

2. Money
Every day, we’re all encouraged to be materialistic. The advertisements are everywhere—banners proclaiming the inherent value of jewelry, of cars and houses and high-paying jobs. For Christian families, the movement toward materialism can be insidious, beginning with parents who simply want to give their children more than they had. If left unchecked, though, these desires can remove a family’s focus from God, and onto whatever the hot, must-have items of the year are. God calls us to give to His ministry.

3. Media
The problem with modern forms of media is not merely that it’s less morally fettered than ever before, but that morally depraved characters and acts are now being portrayed as sympathetic protagonists—as people who we are to identify with and root for. The anti-hero is one of the most destructive forces in all of media when it comes to negative influence. These characters follow their own moral code, eschewing the institutionalized law or government that they deem “too weak” to do what must be done. They break the law, kill, steal, and murder, all to the fanfare of viewers. They often are a representation of moral relativism at its worst.

4. Abuse
There are few things which grieve God, as well as damage the reputation of Christianity in the eyes of the secular world like abuse within Christian families. The family is a representation of God’s character, of his love and unity. We are under God’s command to love and care for one another, both for our own happiness, and so that others will be drawn to that kind of love and come to know God.

It can sometimes be easy to misinterpret scripture to support the idea that abuse is somehow acceptable, that a spouse or children “belong” to you. But this isn’t true. They belong to God. We are called to love one another just as God loves us. To do anything less is to break the image of God’s love which family is meant to represent.

5. Anti-Christian Culture
Our culture is steeped in moral apathy, making it harder than ever to remain united as a Christian family. This culture pulls at us, constantly giving us the message that we are to put our own, individual happiness over that of others—the most powerful breaker of Christian families, of any family, there is.

But We are called to be different
Christian families are held not only to a different standard than others, but to a higher—that of God. When we recognize these 5 issues and face them, employing scriptural principles to overcome them, we become who God wishes us to be, and in doing so, we do the very best we can for our families.

God wants us to be happy, and to have a great family life. Don’t forget that.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

View the complete article from our discussion at The 5 Most Important Issues Christian Families Face - Beliefnet
We won't get through all of this article in this episode. Make sure you join us next time for the conclusion!
1. Divorce
We’ve all read the statistics. Divorce rates have steadily increased over the past few decades, and splitting up is more commonplace and acceptable than ever before—sometimes even applauded. With the shrinking of religious ties, the stigma of divorce has ebbed away, creating a culture where commitment has become only a word.

There’s a reason for God’s commands. They’re not arbitrary—God hands them down because He knows what’s best for us, and wants us to be happy. He was talking about when He forbade divorce. Christ spoke on the topic, saying that “What God has joined together, let no one separate,” urging against divorce except in cases of infidelity.

2. Money
Every day, we’re all encouraged to be materialistic. The advertisements are everywhere—banners proclaiming the inherent value of jewelry, of cars and houses and high-paying jobs. For Christian families, the movement toward materialism can be insidious, beginning with parents who simply want to give their children more than they had. If left unchecked, though, these desires can remove a family’s focus from God, and onto whatever the hot, must-have items of the year are. God calls us to give to His ministry.

3. Media
The problem with modern forms of media is not merely that it’s less morally fettered than ever before, but that morally depraved characters and acts are now being portrayed as sympathetic protagonists—as people who we are to identify with and root for. The anti-hero is one of the most destructive forces in all of media when it comes to negative influence. These characters follow their own moral code, eschewing the institutionalized law or government that they deem “too weak” to do what must be done. They break the law, kill, steal, and murder, all to the fanfare of viewers. They often are a representation of moral relativism at its worst.

4. Abuse
There are few things which grieve God, as well as damage the reputation of Christianity in the eyes of the secular world like abuse within Christian families. The family is a representation of God’s character, of his love and unity. We are under God’s command to love and care for one another, both for our own happiness, and so that others will be drawn to that kind of love and come to know God.

It can sometimes be easy to misinterpret scripture to support the idea that abuse is somehow acceptable, that a spouse or children “belong” to you. But this isn’t true. They belong to God. We are called to love one another just as God loves us. To do anything less is to break the image of God’s love which family is meant to represent.

5. Anti-Christian Culture
Our culture is steeped in moral apathy, making it harder than ever to remain united as a Christian family. This culture pulls at us, constantly giving us the message that we are to put our own, individual happiness over that of others—the most powerful breaker of Christian families, of any family, there is.

But We are called to be different
Christian families are held not only to a different standard than others, but to a higher—that of God. When we recognize these 5 issues and face them, employing scriptural principles to overcome them, we become who God wishes us to be, and in doing so, we do the very best we can for our families.

God wants us to be happy, and to have a great family life. Don’t forget that.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.