Whoooo, there is a lot going on. It’s not great! Maureen got distracted and put her phone in the wash. She is maybe not okay. Also, she has fallen in love with a puppet. Dan swings in with the news, which isn’t all bad. There are a lot of Teslas on fire! But also, there is a lot of bad. But don’t worry. Something truly magical happens near the end that Dan really, really loves.

Let your horse get a drink out in the barn and pull up a seat here at the bar, partner. We’re drinking XXX out of our boots. Come meet the Sheriff of SaysWhovia.

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This week, Teslas are burning, no one is sleeping right, everything is falling apart, and Dan is…weirdly optimistic? Well, he’s invented something new, anyway.

Also, Maureen loves Guy’s Grocery Games.

Hop in, SaysWhovia! It’s only sort of on fire!

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It’s a new week in these new times, and you know what that means: MORE BULLSHIT!

But in the middle of the chaos, there is a light! People are striking back! It’s time for some delicious sabotage. Everyone is welcome to participate! Or perhaps you, dear SaysWhovian, would like to run DOGE? Opportunities abound.

Yes, it is bad, but people are doing the work. Take heart. Play bingo. Break their stuff.

Come on, SaysWhovia. Let’s go find some Teslas.

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Somehow, SaysWhovia, we are still in the first month of this thing. Everything happens so much all the time now.

But hark!

Does Dan here clown goings-on in New York City? He does. Which means that it’s time to talk to Maureen about her home, the Greatest City In The World, the one with the clown crime mayor, the magic rocks, the rats, the endless construction, and the newest invention—the trash can. Because if Dan can’t clown on New York, then what CAN he do?

Chicago has news too. Chicago has better news, Dan wants Maureen to know.

Meanwhile…everything. But, this is about coping! Let’s get together and get a big green tower! Join us! Come in from the cold!

Hold hands and stay together at all times, SaysWhovia. There be dragons.

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Have you ever made a list, SaysWhovia? Stuff you need from the store. Ingredients for dinner. Things you need to do. Things to pack. Ways to undo all American institutions by basically letting a bunch of fascist raccoons into the attic? Well, Dan has made a list of all the things that happened this week. No. He made a list of SOME of them, because no one has the whole list. And he has decided to read this list to Maureen. Only he knows why. IT IS A VERY BAD LIST.

On the plus side—bingo! And a visit from a shoe. And apparently Dan was wiretapped once?

Let’s take Dan’s phone away, SaysWhovia. Just for a little while.

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OK, so yeah, things could be better.

Elon's little fash dipshits are running around, and it sure does seem like America is coming to an end, but Maureen has a new boyfriend!

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Apparently it’s been a week?

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Sayswhovians! Yes, Trump was inaugurated again this week. Yes, Elon Musk threw up a nazi salute. Yes, everything has gone to full shitshow very quickly. And yes, Maureen is sick.

But, she's hopped up on just enough of the good drugs to record an impromptu episode with Dan this afternoon after they had to cancel their regularly schedule one due to illness.

So, hello, it is a new era. It sucks. We are glad you are with us.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho