Is your relationship stuck in the anxious-avoidant "trap" or a cycle of pushing and pulling, ups and downs? In this powerful episode, I sit down with relationship writer Rikki Cloos (@anxiousheartsguide on Instagram and TikTok) to talk about why anxious-avoidant relationships feel so hard—and how to make the dynamic more secure. Here's what we discuss:

• 🔁 How Rikki broke up with her now-husband eight times early on in their relationship—and what finally helped them break the anxious-avoidant cycle

• 🧠 Why avoidant partners aren't “bad” or emotionally broken—and how anxious partners can unintentionally push them further away

• 🔍 The surprising ways anxious behavior can create avoidant responses in otherwise secure people

• 💬 How to stop blaming avoidant attachers and start reflecting on your own role in the anxious-avoidant dynamic

• 💖 What self-compassion actually looks like—and how changing your inner dialogue can transform every relationship in your life, by starting with the one you have with yourself

• 🔧 The art of healthy conflict resolution—why it’s essential for growth and how to make conflict feel connecting instead of catastrophic

• 📈 Why doing the work on yourself (even solo) can shift the entire energy of your relationships, whether platonic or romantic

• 🛠️ Practical tools, real-life scripts, and tangible phrases you can use in moments of conflict or disconnection

• 🌱 How secure relationships aren’t found—they’re built through emotional maturity, communication, and mutual effort

Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment:

• Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com
• Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy
• Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit
• Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching
• Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

To connect with Rikki Cloos, visit her website at http://anxiousheartsguide.com/.

Keywords: anxious attachment, relationship dynamics, attachment theory, self-awareness, self-compassion, conflict resolution, healing relationships, secure attachment, personal growth, attachment styles, compassion, relationships, healing, communication, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, personal growth, vulnerability

In this week's episode of the Needy No More podcast, I dive deep into the final two steps of the cycle of anxious attachment, stress and addiction, answering the following questions:

• What is stress and how does it relate to addiction?
• What is love addiction?
• How does stress factor into the experience of anxious attachment?
• How does stress relate to safety and why is that important?
• What is cortisol and what are some ways you can reduce your cortisol levels and lower stress?
• How does cortisol relate to adrenaline?
• How can you interrupt the cycle of addiction?

Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment:

• Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com
• Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy
• Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit
• Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching

• Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

Keywords: anxious attachment, healing, addiction, stress relief, love addiction, cortisol, emotional health, self-awareness, support system, mental health

In this episode of the Needy No More podcast, I interview my very first guest, Jessica Da Silva.

Jessica Da Silva is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Attachment Coach who empowers individuals to free themselves from attachment patterns that sabotage their relationships by teaching them actionable skills to relate to themselves and others more authentically and effectively. Not only does she talk the talk, but she also devotes her online platforms to sharing her personal journey in becoming securely attached and making these topics more relatable and encouraging. Jessica also hosts the Let's Talk Attachments Podcast.

In this conversation, Jessica and I discuss:

• Why she decided to specialize in attachment science in her work as a therapist and coach
• How she's struggled with a disorganized/fearful-avoidant/anxious-avoidant attachment style
• How she's repeated and then repaired codependent and other unhealthy relationship patterns in her life
• When she knew her relationship with her ex of nearly seven years was over—and how she worked up the courage to listen to her intuition and leave
• What her grieving process has been like and how she's rediscovered herself again in the wake of that relationship ending
• What it looks like to grow more secure from an attachment standpoint, as well as the importance of listening to and trusting yourself on that journey

Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment:

• Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com
• Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy
• Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit
• Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching
• Get my breakup guide for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/breakup
• Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

To get in touch with Jessica, visit her website at https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/ and follow her on Instagram @thejessicadasilva and TikTok @jessicadasilvacoaching.

Keywords: anxious attachment, secure attachment, relationship coaching, emotional healing, attachment styles, mental health, self-compassion, personal growth, relationship dynamics, therapy