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Welcome to another enlightening episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson. In this episode titled 'Breaking Free from People-Pleasing', we delve into the intricate world of people-pleasing behaviors and discuss the importance of identifying the thin line between genuine kindness and the compulsion to please others.

Drawing from personal experiences and expert insights, Tim and Ruth offer a comprehensive look into what defines people-pleasing and how it differs fundamentally from genuinely wanting to help others. Ruth shares her personal journey from people-pleaser to finding joy in setting healthy boundaries, exemplifying how motivations can shift from fear and obligation to joy and service.

The Olsons explore seven compelling reasons to overcome people-pleasing, such as avoiding emotional burnout, fostering authentic relationships, boosting self-worth, and resisting emotional manipulation. They highlight the profound impact of setting boundaries and prioritizing personal growth, urging listeners to seek internal validation over external praise.

This episode is a call to action for anyone struggling with the burden of people-pleasing. It promises to guide you towards emotional freedom and stronger self-awareness. Stay tuned for practical steps to break free in the next exciting episode. Tune in, listen with intent, and start your journey to a healthier, more fulfilled life with Mr. and Mrs. Therapy.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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In this episode of "Mr. and Mrs. Therapy," hosted by licensed marriage and family therapists Tim and Ruth Olson, listeners are taken on an insightful journey into John Gottman's seventh principle for building healthy relationships: Creating Shared Meaning. As experienced trauma experts, the Olsons provide practical strategies and exercises to help couples develop a deeper, more meaningful connection with each other.

The episode delves into several key strategies, including identifying shared and individual values, creating and nurturing rituals, and understanding dreams within conflicts. The Olsons emphasize the importance of adapting and evolving rituals over time to match the couple's evolving relationship and life circumstances. They also highlight the significance of shared symbols and narratives, such as inside jokes and household decor, that can serve as tangible reminders of the couple's bond.

Listeners will discover how taking collaborative action towards shared goals can foster a sense of closeness and purpose. By setting and revisiting yearly or quarterly goals, couples can ensure a aligned path, adapting plans as needed to accommodate individual aspirations and life changes.

Throughout the episode, Tim and Ruth encourage listeners to not only build a functional partnership but also find deep purpose and value in their relationships. They conclude with a recap of all seven principles of Gottman's relationship-building framework, urging couples to embrace one principle at a time for a lasting, loving connection.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast, hosted by Tim and Ruth Olson, esteemed marriage and family therapists with a passion for healing and transformation. In this episode, they delve into the intriguing topic of creating shared meaning in relationships, inspired by John Gottman's seventh principle for lasting love.

Join Tim and Ruth as they explore how building a shared meaning can create a stronger emotional bond between partners. They explain the importance of weaving a tapestry of rituals, values, and life goals that unify couples, going beyond everyday tasks to shape a relationship's deeper identity. From special rituals like celebrating holidays to shared life missions, they discuss how these traditions foster resilience and connection over time.

Throughout the episode, Tim and Ruth candidly share how shared meaning can evolve with life events and challenges, enhancing relationship satisfaction. They delve into common barriers, such as lack of time, fear of losing individuality, mismatched values, and past traumas, providing valuable strategies to overcome these obstacles.

Listeners will gain insights into the profound impact of shared meaning on emotional investment and relationship cohesion. Tim and Ruth provide compelling examples from their personal lives and clinical experiences, highlighting the transformative power of recognizing and honoring each other's individuality within the context of a partnership.

Tune in to part one of this two-part exploration and discover the keys to fostering a meaningful and resilient connection. This episode promises engaging conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you and your partner align on shared visions and enrich your unique relationship journey. Stay tuned for part two, where Tim and Ruth will guide you through actionable steps for creating shared traditions and aligning on broader life goals.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Join Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts, as they delve deeper into Gottman's seven principles, specifically focusing on overcoming gridlock in relationships. Building on the previous episode's exploration of solvable versus perpetual problems, this discussion provides listeners with practical steps to break free from entrenched conflicts and nurture deeper empathy and understanding.

Tim and Ruth guide you through the process of identifying hidden dreams within conflicts, illustrating how these core values can often be the root of recurring issues. Through the example of a couple grappling with the decision of having a larger family, they highlight the importance of recognizing personal motivations and values. By exploring each other's dreams and fears, couples can transform arguments into opportunities for connection, allowing for meaningful discussions rather than reactive exchanges.

The episode offers strategies for self-soothing and emotional regulation, emphasizing the importance of taking pauses during heated discussions to foster calmer and more constructive dialogues. Tim and Ruth illustrate the significance of validating each other's emotions and encourage listeners to engage in ongoing dialogues rather than seeking one-time solutions.

Listeners are invited to explore temporary compromises and structured conversations to navigate perpetual issues adeptly. The Olsons stress the value of professional help in facilitating these discussions, underscoring that the journey to overcoming relationship gridlocks is about understanding each other's inner world, not just fixing issues superficially.

As the episode concludes, Tim and Ruth provide a preview of the next episode focusing on creating shared meaning, promising more valuable insights. Tune in to transform relationship gridlocks into pathways of growth and deeper connection, and be sure to share your thoughts and experiences in the Facebook group linked in the description.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists, delve into the intricacies of overcoming relationship gridlock. In this episode, they focus on the sixth of Gottman's Seven Principles, exploring the concept of gridlock in relationships where fundamental conflicts recur without resolution over months or even years.

The episode begins with a discussion on how unresolved perpetual problems—such as disagreements about wanting children, religious differences, or lifestyle choices—can leave couples feeling entrenched and hopeless. Tim and Ruth engage listeners by sharing insights into the emotional complexities beneath these ongoing conflicts, emphasizing the need for deeper understanding and the importance of addressing not just the surface issues but the underlying dreams, needs, and values.

The hosts guide couples through various pitfalls like ignoring emotions, rushing for quick solutions, and failing to revisit difficult topics leading to blame and resentment. They stress the significance of emotional intimacy alongside conflict resolution and offer practical advice on utilizing check-ins, patience, and empathy to manage differences more peacefully.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships, identifying recurring issues and the emotions tied to them. With the promise of more strategies in the next episode, this installment empowers couples to break free from gridlock, fostering meaningful and fulfilling connections.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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Welcome back to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts. In this episode, we dive deep into the art of solving solvable problems within relationships by exploring John Gottman’s principles. Picking up from our previous discussion on distinguishing solvable issues from perpetual ones, we guide you through a comprehensive roadmap designed to effectively address and resolve conflict.

The episode begins by emphasizing the importance of a gentle startup when entering difficult conversations, to reduce defensiveness and promote an atmosphere conducive to cooperation. We walk you through seven structured steps, starting from articulating the issue clearly, practicing active listening, to brainstorming and proposing collaborative solutions. Additionally, crucial topics such as finding common ground, compromising, and agreeing on a plan are tackled to help both partners feel respected and understood.

Drawing from real-life scenarios and professional insights, we also discuss overcoming common pitfalls like reverting to old communication patterns, addressing emotional triggers, and dealing with external stressors. This empowers listeners to manage conflicts with empathy and teamwork.

Whether dealing with challenging daily disputes or navigating deeper emotional wounds, this episode provides practical strategies for strengthening your relationship's bond. Tune in for valuable tips and a step-by-step guide to transforming conflict into a catalyst for personal and relational growth.

We encourage you to practice these techniques on a small conflict this week, and share your success stories in our dedicated Facebook group. Join us as we continue to transform life's challenges into opportunities for deeper connections and healing.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists, delve into Gottman's fifth principle of "Solving Your Solvable Problems." In this episode, they explore how identifying and managing solvable issues can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Tim and Ruth begin by reviewing the foundational four principles from Gottman's research: building love maps, nurturing fondness and admiration, turning towards each other, and letting your partner influence you. These steps, they emphasize, are crucial in forming a strong relationship base before tackling problems.

The episode further explains the distinction between solvable and perpetual problems. Solvable issues are situational conflicts such as chores, scheduling, and financial management, which can be addressed with practical solutions. On the other hand, perpetual problems often arise from core personality traits or values and require ongoing management and acceptance.

Listeners are encouraged to distinguish between these two types of problems, focusing their energy on resolving solvable issues to prevent resentment and build confidence within the relationship. Tim and Ruth highlight the importance of protecting emotional bandwidth by managing everyday stressors, allowing couples to be better equipped for tackling deeper, more complex challenges.

In this engaging discussion, Tim and Ruth provide listeners with strategies for identifying their unique solvable and perpetual problems, laying the groundwork for further resolution in upcoming episodes. This episode is essential for anyone looking to enhance their relationship dynamics through effective problem-solving techniques.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

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Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, hosted by Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists. This week, we continue our exploration of John Gottman's landmark book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," with a deep dive into the fourth principle: letting your partner influence you.

In this episode, Tim and Ruth tackle some common obstacles couples face when sharing mutual influence, such as the fear of losing autonomy and the impact of ego and past traumas. They provide constructive strategies to overcome these barriers, emphasizing that influence should be reciprocal and beneficial for both partners.

The discussion offers practical steps for embracing influence, including learning how to listen actively, valuing your partner's expertise, and practicing small tests of openness. With their trademark blend of personal anecdotes and professional insights, Tim and Ruth guide listeners on how maintaining humility and mutual respect can transform challenges into opportunities for deeper connection.

Join the Olsons as they empower you with the skills needed to foster healthier communication and enduring love in your relationship. Tune in for expert advice, engaging dialogue, and strategies that can help turn adversity into triumph in your marriage.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}