In this week's episode, Jay sends Mike back to 1999 with A24’s Y2K, a horror-comedy hybrid stuffed with glow sticks, AOL CDs, and the crushing weight of secondhand embarrassment. After Mike tries to make sense of weaponized nostalgia, teenage idiocy, and killer iMacs the guys count down their Bottom Five Period Pieces—a list of historical misfires and anachronistic abominations. Then, they battle in a game of Dueling Double Bills, where two surprise titles must be paired with perfect (or perfectly bad) companion films. Finally, Mike gets his revenge by announcing the next movie Jay will have to endure, ensuring that the war of bad cinema continues into the new millennium... or at least the next episode.

Jay takes a seat at the world’s most uncomfortable dinner party courtesy of Mike’s latest cinematic punishment: Sushi Girl (2012), a post-Tarantino crime flick where the tension is raw, the violence is extra crispy, and the titular sushi girl lies perfectly still while a bunch of washed-up crooks yell at each other in between flashbacks. Mark Hamill wonderfully hams it up, Tony Todd tries to class up the joint, and somewhere in the middle a rogue's gallery of B-movie/slumming A-list stars arrive; including Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey and Noah Hathaway, the now all-grown-up guy who played Atreyu from The Neverending Story! Jay tries to figure out if this is a crime thriller, a food safety violation, or both, and then the guys count down their Bottom Five Meals—cinematic servings of food so unappetizing they’ll have you reaching for antacid. And if all that weren’t enough to settle your stomach, the guys close out the show by paying tribute to the recently-passed Tony Todd with a memorial tribute round of Kick Two, Pick Two. So grab your chopsticks, question your life choices, and join the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons where, like sushi, revenge is served cold.

Jay sends Mike boot-scootin’ straight into the tequila-soaked hellscape of Cowboy Ugly (2000)—a movie where dreams are big, tank tops are small, and apparently all of life’s problems can be solved with a gratuitous bar-top dance number. Was egregious cinematic leering over Piper Perabo, Tyra Banks, Maria Bello and Bridget Moynahan enough to help Mike endure the twangy torment of this feature-length soundtrack commercial? The guys will answer that and ponder many other existential questions, such as "who cleans up this alcohol-drenched and glass-littered horror show of a bar each night?" After the main review, the guys pull out their Bottom Five Needledrops—those cringeworthy moments when Hollywood smashed the “play” button on the most ill-fitting, and often most-overused, songs imaginable. Finally, they wrap things up with a rowdy round of Dueling Double Bills, slinging movie pairings with all the reckless abandon of a bartender spraying down a row of shot glasses. So dust off your cowboy boots, leave your inhibitions at the door, and remember: this podcast doesn’t do water, and it sure as hell doesn’t do requests!

In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike drags Jay kicking and screaming into the twisted world of Rumpelstiltskin (1995)—a movie that asks the bold question, “What if a goblin got loose in 1990s Los Angeles and immediately learned to drive stick shift?” Between the boundlessly illogical plotting, endless baby screaming, and an ancient curse powered by hammy one-liners, the guys do their best to articulate a cinematic experience that feels less like a fairy tale and more like a cousin to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. After that, Jay and Mike count down their Bottom Five Names—a celebration of the worst, weirdest, and most aggressively stupid character names ever committed to film. Finally, in a heartfelt tribute, they honor the late, great Val Kilmer by playing a special round of Kick Two, Pick Two—pitting four of Kilmer’s movies against each other, with only two allowed to survive. So grab your favorite screaming infant, fire up your motorcycle, and join the fairy tale that somehow no one wanted—but everyone deserves to hear about!

If nothing else, after listening to this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, you'll wonder what Mike is still wondering: "What the fiznuck is a Gonk?!?" Indeed, what is a Gonk and why, in this 1965 concert film disguised as a sci-fi movie, do they go Beat? Jay had no idea when he assigned Gonks Go Beat for Mike to endure this week, but do either of the guys know now? Perhaps or perhaps not, but what they do know is their list of Bottom Five British Characters, a collection of across-the-pond d-bags that explain the Revolutionary War more than any history book! After their countdown, the guys play an English-themed round of dueling double bills before Mike slaps Jay with his next filmic facepalm for the next episode. REMINDER: We're in the midst of a Sophie's Choice poll—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide an upcoming cinematic punishment for Jay! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Visit filmjitsu.net to vote!

In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike pulls out a Geneva-Convention-breaking offensive attack with 2005's The Crow - Wicked Prayer, the fourth movie in the original run of the "Crow" franchise starring Filmjitsu favorite, Eddie Furlong as a ghostly avenger in sad clown makeup. Jay dutiful reviews the film, trying to make sense of how it simultaneously has so much and so little on its mind and then the guys list off their "Bottom Dive Direct-to-Video Titles" in honor of all those movies, like this "Wicked Prayer," that didn't make it to the movie theater and, instead, crowd video shelves and streaming service menus.. Next, the duo nearly plays a round of "Dueling Double Bills" before Jay strikes back with his own cinematic counterattack, revealing the next episode’s review. But before the show wraps, a Sophie's Choice is unleashed—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide Jay’s next punishment! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Cast your vote now at filmjitsu.com!

Ever wonder what happened to Vanilla Ice, the white-boy hip-hop "artist" who for a brief, horrifying moment, was the best-selling hip-hop act in the world? Yeah, well, neither did Mike, but thanks to Jay, he's been forced to wade through "Rap-Era Elvis" lore by watching Cool as Ice—a 90s time capsule that should have stayed buried. Can the guys have a compelling discussion about a film that all agree should have been left in the past alongside Z. Cavarrici pants and I.O.U. sweatshirts? It's tough work, but the main review leads to an inspired countdown of the guys' Bottom Five Musicians Acting in Film, where Mike and Jay talk smack not only about The Beatles but also The Rolling Stones! After stirring up controversy with some of the best-selling recording artists in history, the guys dig into the mailbag, where some Eejits revisit last episode’s Bottom Five childhood traumas. Then, as always, Mike locks, loads and fires the next terrible movie Jay will have to watch for the next episode. So, "drop the zero and get with the hero" by having a listen now!

In what Jay has claimed is the episode with "the best bottom five we've ever done," the guys tackle the often-maligned sequel to "The Wizard of Oz," 1985's "Return to Oz," starring Fairuza Balk in a vision of the Emerald City that gave most Gen-X kids recurring nightmares. Assigned by Mike, will Jay's viewing of this movie surface long repressed horrors from childhood? Well, if it doesn't, then both of our intrepid hosts listing off their bottom five child movie traumas most assuredly will have someone curling into a fetal position. When Mike screams "What in the name of bottomless childhood torment are we doing here movie?" you know a nerve has been struck! So jump right in, have a listen, and don’t forget to share the cinematic nightmares that haunted your childhood—misery loves company, after all!