In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike pulls out a Geneva-Convention-breaking offensive attack with 2005's The Crow - Wicked Prayer, the fourth movie in the original run of the "Crow" franchise starring Filmjitsu favorite, Eddie Furlong as a ghostly avenger in sad clown makeup. Jay dutiful reviews the film, trying to make sense of how it simultaneously has so much and so little on its mind and then the guys list off their "Bottom Dive Direct-to-Video Titles" in honor of all those movies, like this "Wicked Prayer," that didn't make it to the movie theater and, instead, crowd video shelves and streaming service menus.. Next, the duo nearly plays a round of "Dueling Double Bills" before Jay strikes back with his own cinematic counterattack, revealing the next episode’s review. But before the show wraps, a Sophie's Choice is unleashed—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide Jay’s next punishment! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Cast your vote now at filmjitsu.com!

Ever wonder what happened to Vanilla Ice, the white-boy hip-hop "artist" who for a brief, horrifying moment, was the best-selling hip-hop act in the world? Yeah, well, neither did Mike, but thanks to Jay, he's been forced to wade through "Rap-Era Elvis" lore by watching Cool as Ice—a 90s time capsule that should have stayed buried. Can the guys have a compelling discussion about a film that all agree should have been left in the past alongside Z. Cavarrici pants and I.O.U. sweatshirts? It's tough work, but the main review leads to an inspired countdown of the guys' Bottom Five Musicians Acting in Film, where Mike and Jay talk smack not only about The Beatles but also The Rolling Stones! After stirring up controversy with some of the best-selling recording artists in history, the guys dig into the mailbag, where some Eejits revisit last episode’s Bottom Five childhood traumas. Then, as always, Mike locks, loads and fires the next terrible movie Jay will have to watch for the next episode. So, "drop the zero and get with the hero" by having a listen now!

In what Jay has claimed is the episode with "the best bottom five we've ever done," the guys tackle the often-maligned sequel to "The Wizard of Oz," 1985's "Return to Oz," starring Fairuza Balk in a vision of the Emerald City that gave most Gen-X kids recurring nightmares. Assigned by Mike, will Jay's viewing of this movie surface long repressed horrors from childhood? Well, if it doesn't, then both of our intrepid hosts listing off their bottom five child movie traumas most assuredly will have someone curling into a fetal position. When Mike screams "What in the name of bottomless childhood torment are we doing here movie?" you know a nerve has been struck! So jump right in, have a listen, and don’t forget to share the cinematic nightmares that haunted your childhood—misery loves company, after all!

In this episode, the guys perform a Filmjitsu first, dedicating most of a show to a single Hollywood star when Jay slaps Mike with a sequel so bad it derailed a franchise for thirty years! But despite the movie being too little of a comedy to be funny and too little of an action flick to provide any thrills, "Beverly Hills Cop 3" is the perfect launchpad to discuss the career of Eddie Murphy (while also touching on the tailspin of director John Landis's career). In counting off their "Bottom 5 Eddie Murphy Performances," the guys observe the highs and unfathomable lows of the formerly edgy, foul-mouthed comedian who somehow ended up in a never-ending career detour of donning fat suits and making fart jokes. Mike and Jay next take their own detour away from Murphy by playing a quick game of "Dueling Double Bills" before Mike announces his revenge by revealing what Jay will have to watch next time. Because while "Beverly Hills Cop 3" took Axel Foley off the streets for 30 years, your intrepid bad-movie enthusiasts here at Filmjitsu know there’s no statute of limitations on cinematic punishment!

There are two guys that host Filmjitsu, and despite the fact they regularly bludgeon one another with cinematic munitions, one nearly took on so much damage with this episode that the war of the worst nearly ended. Find out how two of Steve Odekirk's "Thumbation" movies—"Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle" and "Bat Thumb"—somehow managed to, despite very short runtimes, drive one host to audibly drink away his pain whilst recording (stick around for the outtake). And if that's not enough, the guys go on to list their Bottom Five Movie Gimmicks which are cinematic tricks and ideas that try to get butts in seats but instead lead to eyes rolling to the back of the head. Finally, the guys pluck two VERY random movies from the internether which they must immediately build two competing double features from in their own latest gimmick, a game called "Dueling Double Bills." All this plus one really killer intro kicks off the first regular episode of the New Year in enjoyably agonizing style!

When Jay unleashed 1990's much-loved "Pretty Woman" on Mike, he knew they'd be in for a discussion that might get them in hot water with the millions upon millions of viewers that label the romantic comedy a "classic." There aren't many movies that have appeared on the show that were, at the time of their release, NUMBER FIVE in the list of all-time box office earners. And yet here the guys are, checking to see if one of the most iconic love stories cinema has ever served up is actually... any good? If that's not a bold enough move, your intrepid bad movie enthusiasts next count down their Bottom Five Beloved Films, a list of popular, much-adored favorites that they personally cannot stand! As contentious and contrarian a list as could be imagined, Mike and Jay may well be daring the audience to use deadly weapons against them, but things become more threatening as each reveal a pick that's beloved by the other, resulting in some pretty hostile exchanges! Finally, the guys end the show on a happy note with some friendly messages from a few "Eejits," or fans of the show who sent in voice messages and emails, before revealing the film they're watching for this year's shared Christmas episode!

In light of this week bringing us a holiday centered around feeling grateful and counting the many blessings in life, Mike sets the Thanksgiving table for Jay with a real cinematic turkey: ThanksKilling, a festive holiday offering filled with raunchy comedy and dime-store gore! More nap-inducing than tryptophan, but infinitely worse for one's health, Jay scarfs down helping after helping of the misadventures of a reanimated killer turkey before the guys move onto an inspired second course—their bottom five High Concept Films. This list of elevator pitches gone wrong is bound to leave a bad taste behind, so Mike and Jay add a bit of dessert by pitting four dinner-themed movies against each other in the most diverse game of Kick-Two, Pick Two ever! So shut off the football and put away that pumpkin pie because Filmjitsu is bringing you some Wild Turkey for dinner!

As Filmjitsu exits the 2024 Halloween season and returns to its normal programming, Jay lands a cinematic haymaker by forcing Mike to watch 2016's "9 Lives," a dreadful children's film in which Christopher Walken turns Kevin Spacey into a cat who has to learn how to poop in a litter box or... become a better dad. Amazingly, this was made BEFORE Spacey became a Hollywood pariah, the circumstances of which the guys tackle head-on while wrestling with the age-old question "Can we separate the artist from the art?" But before everything gets too heady, they get back to business by counting down their Bottom Five "Kids Films" which include some stellar turds made for the whole family! After that, there's a quick game of Kick Two, Pick Two in which four outstanding children's classics dual to the death! Will "The Neverending Story" make it out of Filmjitsu alive? Find out now!