In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike drags Jay kicking and screaming into the twisted world of Rumpelstiltskin (1995)—a movie that asks the bold question, “What if a goblin got loose in 1990s Los Angeles and immediately learned to drive stick shift?” Between the boundlessly illogical plotting, endless baby screaming, and an ancient curse powered by hammy one-liners, the guys do their best to articulate a cinematic experience that feels less like a fairy tale and more like a cousin to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. After that, Jay and Mike count down their Bottom Five Names—a celebration of the worst, weirdest, and most aggressively stupid character names ever committed to film. Finally, in a heartfelt tribute, they honor the late, great Val Kilmer by playing a special round of Kick Two, Pick Two—pitting four of Kilmer’s movies against each other, with only two allowed to survive. So grab your favorite screaming infant, fire up your motorcycle, and join the fairy tale that somehow no one wanted—but everyone deserves to hear about!

If nothing else, after listening to this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, you'll wonder what Mike is still wondering: "What the fiznuck is a Gonk?!?" Indeed, what is a Gonk and why, in this 1965 concert film disguised as a sci-fi movie, do they go Beat? Jay had no idea when he assigned Gonks Go Beat for Mike to endure this week, but do either of the guys know now? Perhaps or perhaps not, but what they do know is their list of Bottom Five British Characters, a collection of across-the-pond d-bags that explain the Revolutionary War more than any history book! After their countdown, the guys play an English-themed round of dueling double bills before Mike slaps Jay with his next filmic facepalm for the next episode. REMINDER: We're in the midst of a Sophie's Choice poll—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide an upcoming cinematic punishment for Jay! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Visit filmjitsu.net to vote!

In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike pulls out a Geneva-Convention-breaking offensive attack with 2005's The Crow - Wicked Prayer, the fourth movie in the original run of the "Crow" franchise starring Filmjitsu favorite, Eddie Furlong as a ghostly avenger in sad clown makeup. Jay dutiful reviews the film, trying to make sense of how it simultaneously has so much and so little on its mind and then the guys list off their "Bottom Dive Direct-to-Video Titles" in honor of all those movies, like this "Wicked Prayer," that didn't make it to the movie theater and, instead, crowd video shelves and streaming service menus.. Next, the duo nearly plays a round of "Dueling Double Bills" before Jay strikes back with his own cinematic counterattack, revealing the next episode’s review. But before the show wraps, a Sophie's Choice is unleashed—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide Jay’s next punishment! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Cast your vote now at filmjitsu.com!