In this conversation, I have a candid and vulnerable conversation with Maggie McGrann LMHC-A, NCC where we discuss the intrinsic link between mental health and relationships, particularly focusing on the challenges women face in maintaining their mental well-being within partnerships.

We get real about the true, and often unspoken, impact of divorce on both parents and children, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, self-value, and the courage to make difficult decisions for the sake of personal happiness.

Having both gone through the painful circumstances of divorce and facing the judgement of those close to us, we take a deep dive into societal expectations surrounding marriage and divorce. As mothers, we both experienced losing some of the people we thought would be most supportive of us, and were surprised to find people we wouldn't have expected to show up for us in big ways do just that, emphasizing how important it is to find the right type of support when navigating divorce and co-parenting.

As a mental health professional, Maggie shares invaluable and actionable ways to help you focusing on what you can control, shares the value of meditation for mental clarity, and highlights the opportunity to model resilience for children during challenging times.

Key Takeaways:

• Prioritizing your mental health is a form of love for your children.
• Women often neglect their mental health in partnerships.
• Authenticity in relationships is crucial for well-being.
• Cultural messages can hinder personal growth and self-value.
• Divorce can actually lead to healthier family dynamics for the children.
• Support systems are vital during transitions like divorce.
• You have the right to prioritize your own happiness.
• Radical acceptance is key to moving forward after divorce.
• Divorce doesn't have to be a negative experience.
• If you're waiting for your partner to acknowledge your feelings, you'll never be okay.
• Accepting someone's capacity to meet your needs is crucial for your mental health.
• Redirect your energy towards what you can control in your life.
• Understanding the divorce process can alleviate fear and anxiety.
• Detaching from emotional triggers can help maintain your peace.
• Building a support network of those who understand your situation is vital.
• Tools like meditation can help you reconnect with your inner voice and intuition.
• Modeling emotional intelligence for your children is essential.

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This is the most important interview I'll ever do. I have no doubt about that.

When my daughter texted me and asked if she could be a guest on this podcast, I couldn't have been more surprised. Or more afraid, honestly.

As her mom, the single most important priority in my life since before the day she was born was always trying to do the best thing for her. My biggest fear has been, and always will be, making the wrong decision and doing something that will hurt her. It has kept me up more night than I can even count.

I know I'm not alone in that fear and many of you can relate to that very same thing.

She became the child of divorce at very young age. And while I've always tried to talk openly with her about her experience throughout her life growing up as a child of divorced parents, I know there are many assumptions I've made about what that has felt like for her.

This conversation with her gave me so many insights into her actual experience, answered so many questions I've had, and change my perspective on a lot of my own feelings and assumptions I've had as her mom.

We cover A LOT of ground on this one and it's a little longer than most of my episodes but I think it's worth every single minute and I hope that listening in on this raw and candid conversation can help you in some way.

Nothing was off limits in this conversation and we touch on so many topics including:

- When she first realized divorced parents weren't the norm

- How other kids, and their parents, treated her when they found out her parents were divorced

- The impact that living in two different households, with two very different families, had on how she viewed and expressed herself

- How her relationships with both me and her dad has changed through the years as she realized we were just normal people with flaws and our own lives

- How going up with divorced parents has impacted her view of her own relationships and what she thinks about what her future relationships and family will look like.

And so much more.

This is basically me having a conversation with a giant piece of my heart and my most favorite person in the entire world and sharing it with the world.

It was scary. It was awesome. And it changed me in the best way.

K - I love you more than anything and I'm SO proud to be your mom.

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In this episode of Divorce Curious, host Lisa Mitchell engages with Leah GiaQuinta, a divorce coach, to explore the complexities of navigating divorce, especially when children are involved. They discuss the emotional challenges, the importance of accountability, and the journey from feeling like a victim to embracing empowerment.

Leah shares her personal journey into divorce coaching, emphasizing the need for support and understanding during this difficult time. The conversation highlights the significance of creating a safe space for discussions around divorce and the various phases individuals go through in the process.

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There is no lack of things to worry about when you find yourself considering a divorce. What if I told you there was a way to find solutions for the things that are keeping you up at night?

Keep listening, there are real, tactical solutions coming your way in this episode!

In this episode of the Divorce Curious podcast, host Lisa Mitchell discusses the challenges women face during and after divorce, emphasizing the importance of support and resources. She introduces Vikki Duke, founder of Insomnia Mom, who shares insights on managing overwhelm through outsourcing tasks and leveraging technology. The conversation highlights practical solutions for time management, community building, and navigating care for aging parents, ultimately encouraging listeners to seek help and not feel alone in their journey.

Takeaways

• Divorce significantly changes a woman's life, increasing mental and physical workloads and stress.
• Outsourcing tasks can alleviate some of the burdens during divorce, but it can be hard to find the resources to even consider doing that.
• Technology can help save time and reduce stress in daily tasks, you don't need to be afraid to find the right tools to help you.
• It's important to plan for future needs, especially regarding children and finances.
• Community is key: Women often feel overwhelmed and isolated during the divorce process.
• Insomnia Mom offers valuable resources and a supportive community for women navigating divorce.
• Asking for help is not a weakness; it's a way to share the load.
• Building a support network can provide emotional and practical assistance.
• Rest and self-care are essential but often overlooked during stressful times.

For more information on all the resources Insomnia Mom offers check out their website here: https://www.insomniamom.com/

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Divorce can take the life you know and love, flip it upside down unexpectedly, and leave you wondering "how is this my life?"

Imagine having a major health crisis and then having your spouse tell you they are filing for divorce all in the matter of a week. That's exactly the situation that my guest Aimee Kandrac found herself in and to say that her world was totally rocked is an understatement.

In this conversation, Lisa Mitchell and Aimee Kandrac explore the complexities of navigating these devastating life changes, and how it feels when everything bad seems to be happening all at the same time.

Aimee shares her painful personal journey through a surprise divorce, a major health challenge, and the seemingly impossible task of keeping her life on track throughout it all. She bravely walks us through her hardest moments, such as uncovering a deep betrayal, navigating hard conversations with her children, and the realization that she's now living in a version of life she never wanted to be in or expected.

This conversation emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, having the right support systems, and the gift of self-discovery in overcoming life's challenges. Aimee went from wondering "how is this my life?" in her darkest moments to being grateful that this new version of her life, although it looks completely different, is one she can continue to grow and thrive in.

They share personal experiences and insights on trust, preparation, and the journey towards healing and personal growth after a significant life transition. The discussion highlights the necessity of being informed and prepared, as well as the value of community and support during challenging times.

Takeaways

• Aimee emphasizes the shame and grief associated with divorce.
• The importance of having a support system during tough times.
• Life can change drastically in a short period.
• Vulnerability can lead to strength and resilience.
• Financial literacy is crucial when facing divorce.
• Self-discovery is a valuable process regardless of relationship status.
• It's common to feel lost and overwhelmed during life changes.
• Having professional support can provide a different perspective.
• Preparation can alleviate some of the stress of divorce.
• Emotional healing takes time, but it can lead to a beautiful transformation. Having an objective third party can provide clarity.
• Preparation is key, even if divorce isn't imminent.
• Fear often drives decision-making more than data.
• Trust can be broken in unexpected ways during divorce.
• Financial awareness is crucial during a divorce process.
• Emotional responses can cloud judgment and decision-making.
• It's important to document possessions and assets.
• Healing is a gradual process that involves daily improvements.
• Celebrating new beginnings can be empowering.
• Support from friends and community is invaluable during tough times.

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In this episode of the Divorce Curious Show, host Lisa Mitchell speaks with mediator Tess Worrell about the complexities of divorce and the potential for a process that minimizes destruction. They discuss the emotional turmoil that often accompanies divorce, the role of mediation in providing a supportive environment, and the importance of addressing children's needs during the process. Tess shares her personal journey and professional insights, emphasizing the value of creative solutions and the power of mediation to foster healthier outcomes for families.

Tess Worrell Bio
Growing up, Tess often felt unwanted and unknown in her own home. She married young–hoping to create the kind of connection she wanted growing up. But, as often happens, she married someone much like from home. Instead of life with her best friend, over time she felt increasingly alone. Which gave her a passion for working with those who feel lonely and unwelcome in their own homes.

When people find their marriages simply can’t work, Tess uses mediation to help them navigate divorce or separation to create two separate homes. Homes where they feel welcome and valued. For couples, who want to stay married but need a change to make the marriage work–she offers couple’s mediation. This process helps couples resolve the conflicts coming between them and transform the home they have.

Tess entered mediation after serving as the Executive Director of the Indiana Commission for Continuing Legal Education. Tess worked with the CLE board to develop the training requirements for mediators. In the process, she fell in love with mediation. Especially in the family realm, Tess saw the opportunity for mediation to help families work through issues cooperatively and make decisions tailored to their unique needs and desires. It offered a way to divorce without destroying each other.

As a mom of eight, Tess knows conflict! In “mediating” who got the last cookie or which sibling was at fault for the most recent scuffle, Tess honed her skills on helping those she cared about work through conflict. Conflict should never tear people apart. Instead, she seeks to help people find answers for tough situations while also protecting their relationships.

Takeaways

• Divorce can be approached without destruction.
• Mediation helps address underlying fears and concerns.
• Children's voices should be included in the divorce process.
• Creative solutions can lead to better outcomes in mediation.
• Fear often drives decisions during divorce.
• Understanding the legal aspects of mediation is crucial.
• The emotional impact of divorce on children is significant.
• It's important to consider the type of marriage you want for your children.

Learn more about Resolution Mediation

Connect with Tess on LinkedIn

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In this episode of the Divorce Curious Show, host Lisa Mitchell speaks with Jamila Bradley, who discusses the concepts of kinship, belonging, and the dynamics of relationships, particularly in the context of divorce. They explore the importance of understanding what we owe each other in relationships, the cycle of disinterest leading to contempt, and the societal expectations surrounding marriage. Jamila emphasizes the need for reciprocity and the dangers of over-giving in relationships, ultimately advocating for environments where mutual respect and satisfaction are prioritized. In this conversation, Jamila and Lisa explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on coercive control, self-worth, and the journey of self-exploration. They discuss the importance of recognizing one's own value, challenging limiting beliefs, and the necessity of self-forgiveness. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of understanding personal dissatisfaction and the power of self-validation in navigating difficult emotional landscapes, especially in the context of divorce curiosity.

Takeaways

• Kinship is about what we owe each other in relationships.
• Disinterest can escalate to contempt and hatred over time.
• Longevity in marriage does not equate to satisfaction.
• Over-giving in relationships can lead to devaluation.
• Expectations in marriage often go unspoken and unmet.
• The cycle of resentment can be insidious and gradual.
• Articulating feelings can help in understanding relationship dynamics.
• Creating reciprocity is essential for healthy relationships.
• Entitlement in relationships can lead to exploitation.
• It's important to protect your energy in relationships. Coercive control often masquerades as matching energy in relationships.
• Self-recognition is crucial for personal growth and understanding.
• Challenging limiting beliefs can lead to a healthier self-image.
• Self-exploration requires time and patience without the pressure to act immediately.
• Facing discomfort is a necessary step in the divorce curiosity process.
• Tools like the 'clock and the gun' can help structure self-reflection.
• Self-forgiveness is essential for repairing the relationship with oneself.
• Women must fiercely defend their inherent worth.
• Validating oneself is a powerful tool for emotional health.
• You are the hero of your own story, capable of navigating challenges.

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