Episodios

  • 479-Healing Sexual Sin & Shame through the Cross (and Curiosity): Interview with Jay Stringer

    479-Healing Sexual Sin & Shame through the Cross (and Curiosity): Interview with Jay Stringer
    Apr 18 2025
    Healing Sexual Sin & Shame through the Cross (and Curiosity): Interview with Jay Stringer There is something so incredible about a story of redemption. And, dear reader, I believe this conversation will be a turning point for you, as it has been for so many in our community. I’ve walked alongside men and women wrestling with the deep pain of sexual brokenness- the battles they face in their marriage beds, their thought lives, their past, and the weight of shame. I’ve seen firsthand the power of God to restore what seemed utterly lost. And this conversation with Jay Stringer is an invitation to that very healing journey. Jay is a therapist, minister, researcher, and author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. His compassionate, curious approach offers a fresh lens: that the very behaviors we hate are not random. They are clues. And they point us to healing. On this Good Friday, as we reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus, there is no better time to consider what it truly means to lay our shame at the foot of the cross. Let’s dive in. The Cross and Your Story of Healing We all carry wounds. Some we’re acutely aware of, and others we’ve buried so deeply that they show up in our actions long before we recognize them in our hearts. Jay opened our conversation by pointing us to the profound truth of the cross. Jesus knew exactly what you would do. Every mistake. Every moment of shame. And yet, He chose to take it all upon Himself. He bore your sin and your shame. This is not a journey of trying harder to be good enough. It’s about understanding how deeply Jesus loves you, even in your lowest moments, and choosing to respond to His love with a courageous step toward healing. Unwanted Behaviors: They Are Not Random One of the most freeing truths Jay shared is this: our unwanted behaviors are not random. Through his extensive clinical work and groundbreaking research, Jay discovered that the specific ways we struggle are deeply connected to our stories of origin. Jay explained that in his role as the sex addiction therapist for the city of Seattle, he began to see patterns. Men arrested for soliciting sex were not making random choices. Their actions were connected to predictable stories of pain and trauma. Whether you grew up in a home of neglect, where your heart longed for connection and was left empty, or in a home of rigid control, where you felt powerless and unseen, these early experiences shape the way you cope and the behaviors you pursue as an adult. Your brain, your body, your desires are all responding to unhealed wounds. Understanding the Root: Family Systems and the Power of Priming Jay described two primary family systems that often set the stage for future struggles: The Disengaged Family System: Parents were physically or emotionally absent. Your longing for connection was never fulfilled. When you first experienced the neurochemical bond of pornography or sex, it felt like the deepest connection you had ever known. The Rigid, Authoritarian Family System: Parents were hyper-controlling, using performance or religion to shape you. You felt powerless and suffocated. Pornography, in contrast, offered a false sense of control and power over your environment. Both systems prime you for certain temptations. And recognizing this isn’t about blaming parents or excusing behaviors. It’s about gaining understanding. Because understanding is what allows us to grieve. And grieving opens the door to healing. As Jay says, “You can't just try to stop an unhealthy behavior. You have to understand why you were drawn to that behavior in the first place.” Shame Keeps You Stuck. Curiosity Sets You Free. As Christians, we know the seriousness of sin. But too often, we try to hate our way to holiness. We believe that if we punish ourselves enough, we’ll finally change. But, the Apostle Paul tells us that it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Not our contempt. Not our loathing. Not our self-hatred. Jay encouraged us to replace self-contempt with curiosity. Ask yourself: Why am I drawn to this behavior? What is the pain underneath my actions? What does this reveal about my longing to be seen, known, and loved? When we approach our story with curiosity, we give God space to reveal the roots of our pain. The Shark of Shame: Swim Toward It Jay also shared a fascinating metaphor that I just love: Professional shark diver Andy Casagrande was once asked what to do if a great white shark is swimming toward you. His answer? Swim toward it. If you swim away, you act like prey. But if you move toward the shark, it confuses the predator, and it backs away. Shame operates the same way. When we run from it, it devours us. But when we confront it — facing it head on, sharing vulnerably in trusted community, seeking counseling, and naming our wounds — we rob shame of its power. Swim toward the shark of shame. Face it. Name it. And ...
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    54 m
  • 478-How 20 Years Of Painful Miscommunication Became Beautiful Unification: Stephen's Story

    478-How 20 Years Of Painful Miscommunication Became Beautiful Unification: Stephen's Story
    Apr 11 2025
    If you have ever felt disconnected with your spouse- particularly in the area of communication- this episode is especially for you. Steven and his wife, Tracy, walked through more than two decades of disconnection. Twenty-five years is a long time to feel lost in your marriage. To feel like no matter what you try, you just can’t find your way back to each other. They loved God. They were raising six children together. They wanted their marriage to thrive. But somehow, they kept missing each other. Their communication felt off, and it wasn’t just about words—it was about how every part of their life as a couple felt misaligned. Marriage Problems After 25 Years: Feeling Stuck and Disconnected Steven and Tracy did what many couples in their situation try to do. They sought help. They met with counselors and pastors. They heard wise advice. But for some reason, it just didn’t seem to stick in their day-to-day lives. They felt like they were doing all the right things, yet their relationship still felt strained. The alignment they hoped for—spiritually, emotionally, practically—kept slipping through their fingers. It’s hard to describe how wearying that becomes over time. You start to wonder if it will ever change, or if you’re destined to just live alongside each other, rather than truly enjoy the beauty of partnership that marriage is meant to be. Signs of Hope: When One Spouse Begins to Change What began to open things up wasn’t what Steven expected. He started to notice a softness in Tracy. A new warmth in her communication. She seemed more open, more willing to engage in conversations in a way that felt safe and inviting. And that tenderness in her sparked something in him. He realized, deep in his heart, that he wanted to experience that same kind of shift. He didn’t want to keep circling the same frustrations. He wanted his heart to change too—not just so things would feel better, but because he longed to love her well. There’s something so beautiful about that. Sometimes, it’s the gentle transformation in one spouse that awakens the hope in the other. And that’s exactly what happened for Steven. How Focusing on Personal Growth Can Transform Your Marriage What truly began to move the needle for Steven was recognizing where his focus had been all along. For many years, like so many of us, he had been looking at his wife’s responses, her choices, her attitude. But when he started to reflect more deeply, he realized the bigger breakthrough would come from within himself. That shift—from focusing outward to focusing inward—was a game changer. Instead of waiting for Tracy to change, he opened his heart to the changes God wanted to do in him. He began to see how his own patterns of thought and communication were shaping their dynamic. And as he leaned into that growth, the atmosphere of their marriage began to change. Learning to Communicate Better in Marriage Steven described it as learning to dance. For years, he and Tracy were moving to different rhythms. Even when they had good intentions, they kept stepping on each other’s toes. When you don’t know the steps, no matter how much you love the other person, the dance feels clumsy. Missteps are frustrating and discouraging. But as Steven grew in understanding and grace, he began to move in rhythm with his wife. He learned how to lead with humility and gentleness. And as he did, Tracy responded. She became more willing to follow his lead—not because she was forced to, but because it felt safe and loving to do so. Their dance transformed from awkward steps to something fluid, connected, and beautiful. Why Humility Is Key to a Stronger Marriage What I find so deeply inspiring about Steven’s journey is the way he embraced humility. He didn’t cling to pride. He didn’t stay stuck in frustration, demanding that his wife change first. Instead, he knelt before God—both literally and figuratively—and opened his heart to being transformed himself. That posture of surrender made space for God to work powerfully in his life and marriage. And it’s a reminder for all of us: no matter how broken things feel, when we choose humility and invite God into our hearts and homes, He begins to weave a story of redemption that’s more beautiful than we could have imagined. What a Healthy Marriage Looks Like After Healing Today, Steven and Tracy still face challenges, but what’s different now is how they handle them. What used to take days, weeks, or even months to resolve now takes minutes—sometimes even seconds. They’ve learned to recognize when they’re drifting out of alignment and come back quickly to unity and connection. Their marriage isn’t just surviving anymore. It’s thriving. There’s joy. There’s intimacy. There’s a deep excitement about what God is continuing to do in their relationship. It’s a miracle of grace, truly. There Is Hope for Your Marriage, Too Friend, if you find yourself where Steven...
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    41 m
  • 477-How to be a Good Sexual Man: Interview with Sam Jolman

    477-How to be a Good Sexual Man: Interview with Sam Jolman
    Apr 4 2025
    How to be a Good Sexual Man: Interview with Sam Jolman Men, have you ever wished someone had sat you down and given you the sex talk you really needed—not the awkward, surface-level version, but a conversation that spoke to your heart, your masculinity, and how all of that relates to your sexuality and how God designed you? That’s exactly what therapist and author Sam Jolman offers in his book The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality. I was deeply honored to have him on the Delight Your Marriage podcast for a conversation I believe every man and every wife needs to hear. Below are some highlights from our conversation—rich truths that stirred awe, healing, and even some tears. We hope you can listen in on the podcast and check out his newest book, available everywhere books are sold. What Does It Mean to Be a “Good Sexual Man”? Sam shared how the term “good sexual man” often sounds like an oxymoron in our culture. If someone says a man is “very sexual,” we usually don’t take it as a compliment. But what if masculinity and sexuality are meant to be good—designed by God, filled with honor, love, and even awe? Sam invites men to recover their God-given sexual goodness, not by ignoring the brokenness, but by acknowledging it and moving through it—through experiences of shame, silence, even possible harm into healing, wholeness, and holiness. He said, “The issue isn't too much sexual desire—but too little heart.” Your heart was meant to be connected to your sexuality, and it is something that many of the men he speaks with have trouble bringing into their sexuality. Masculinity Reclaimed: More Than Behavior Management Too often, conversations around male sexuality in the church revolve around “behavior management”—Am I behaving or not? Am I sinning or not? But Sam urges men to ask deeper, more hopeful questions: What kind of lover am I?Do I pursue my wife emotionally, not just physically?Have I honored the wounds in my story that made me vulnerable?Have I mistaken my brokenness as only sin, when it’s also about being wounded? This is not about making excuses—it’s about seeking healing and becoming the kind of man who loves deeply and well. Awe, Sensuality & the Glory of a Woman’s Body This part of our conversation brought me to tears. Sam quotes author Mike Mason who described his wife’s naked body as glory. And Scripture supports this—glory is what is veiled in the Bible, not hidden out of shame, but out of reverence. What if we, as wives, were seen like that? What if our husbands truly beheld us as the masterpiece of God—with awe, wonder, tenderness, and joy? It is what every wife is truly longing for. And what Sam beautifully points out is—this isn’t about trying to say something simply to please your wife. It’s about opening your eyes to the beauty God has already placed in front of you, for your pleasure, for your joy, and for your worship. Jesus: The Model of the Sensual and Strong Man Jesus was the manliest of men. He endured the cross, the lashing, the pain, all without complaint. But He also wept over the death of His friend. He was moved with compassion.He made excellent wine for a wedding! And as Sam so beautifully brought up, he received tenderness from a woman washing His feet with tears and perfume. Jesus was both strong and sensual. He didn’t run from beauty—He embraced it. And Sam encourages men to do the same. Sex as Play, Not Pressure One of my favorite parts of Sam’s book is the idea of sex as play. (As you know, we LOVE playfulness at Delight Your Marriage!) In the story of Isaac and Rebekah, Scripture uses the word “play” to describe their intimate interaction. Not “duty.” Not “obligation.” Not even “intercourse.” Just play. How different would sex feel to wives if it was simply seen as an invitation to play? To connect? To enjoy one another—without pressure or performance? When sex becomes play, there's less fear and more room for freedom and creativity. It becomes mutually joyful and it draws both hearts closer. We also both acknowledged that if sex is the only area right now where you play as a couple, it may not come as naturally or even feel awkward. Make sure to build a culture of play outside of the bedroom- go on playful dates, have playful jokes throughout the day- so that you can bring it into the bedroom more naturally. A Message to Men Carrying Sexual Shame Sam shared that many men, in the privacy of his counseling office, have revealed deep sexual shame—some of it stemming from trauma, abuse, or early exposure to sexuality that felt confusing or violating. The enemy wants men to bury those wounds in silence. But healing comes through truth, and through Jesus, who already knows, already sees, and already loves you. As Sam reminded us, your brokenness is not just your sin—it’s also your wounding. And it was wounding. If this is you, you’re not ...
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    1 h y 9 m
  • 476-Marital Success is Your Spiritual Responsibility

    476-Marital Success is Your Spiritual Responsibility
    Mar 28 2025
    The day has arrived! We are officially on social media! And we can't wait for you to see what we have for you! Follow Us & Subscribe on: Instagram, Facebook, & Youtube Now, on to the podcast! Marital Success is Your Spiritual Responsibility If you’ve been listening to the Delight Your Marriage podcast or reading these blogs for a while, you know I don’t take marriage lightly. And if you’re a follower of Jesus, I want to lovingly remind you: your marriage is a spiritual responsibility. This isn’t just about your personal happiness or even your kids’ well-being—though those matter deeply. No, the success of your marriage speaks volumes to everyone who knows you, especially those who know you’re a Christian. Why Your Marriage Is Bigger Than You Think about it: if people know you follow Jesus, but your marriage falls apart, what does that say about the relevance of Jesus in your life? About the Bible? About the power of God? Yes, divorce is painful for the children—but it’s also painful spiritually for everyone who witnesses it. We’re supposed to be making disciples of all people, right? So when our marriage breaks down, we’re tarnishing the very witness we’re meant to live out. I say this from personal experience. My first marriage ended in divorce, and I carry that pain and regret. It wasn’t a biblical divorce—I had to plead the blood of Jesus over it. But I’ve repented, I’ve been forgiven, and now I’ve made a decision: I will never again allow my marriage to dishonor the name of Jesus. I want the same for you. It’s Time to Prioritize Marriage—for the Gospel If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance your faith is already strong. You want biblical answers, not pop psychology. Thank you. If I can help you have a great marriage, your work for the Kingdom becomes that much easier. But let’s be real. Marriage is hard. It’s easy to get selfish. It’s easy to get frustrated with your spouse being a messy, imperfect human (just like we are!). But we can’t stay in that space. We’ve got to pull ourselves out of our self-centeredness and serve. Husbands, Scripture calls you to die for your wife. Wives, we’re called to submit to our husbands. I know—it’s not easy. Believe me, I don’t like that verse either. I’ve struggled with being a controlling wife. But control is rooted in fear. And fear means I’m not trusting God. When both spouses choose to obey God, not based on their spouse’s actions but based on God’s call—that’s where transformation begins. We’re not left wondering what marriage is supposed to be. God gave us His Word. It’s the most printed, most transformative book in human history. You don’t have to guess what it means to be a godly husband or wife—it’s all there. Marriage: God’s Tool for Healing Your spouse can hurt you the most—or they can be the very instrument God uses to heal you the most. I’ve lived both. And I want to be the kind of wife who makes my husband’s meeting with Jesus even better because he was married to me. What if that was your motivation? That your love could heal your spouse. That your encouragement could empower them into God’s purpose for their life. That your gentle presence could become their safe space in this tough world. That’s the kind of love Jesus shows us—and the kind we’re called to give. Love Your Spouse the Way They Receive Love This is one of our core teachings at DYM: love your spouse the way they receive love. The Bible tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. That means not giving chocolate ice cream if they love vanilla. It means learning what makes them feel safe, respected, cherished. Husbands need to feel safe, known, and cherished. Wives need to feel respected, admired, and pursued in wholehearted sexual intimacy. (If you’d like to learn more, we break this down in our free framework at delightym.com/framework. It’s an amazing starting point to grow in loving your spouse practically and biblically.) Growth Is the Goal Friend, you didn’t find this blog because you’re failing. You’re here because you want to grow. And that’s beautiful. That matters. Don’t give up on the hard days when it feels like no one sees your effort. God does. He sees every unseen act of love, every sacrifice, every decision to forgive. We don’t get to skip the suffering. Jesus didn’t. Paul didn’t. In fact, suffering is often God’s tool for growth, purification, and transformation. But you don’t have to do this alone. There’s help. There’s hope. And there is healing. With love, Belah & Team PS - If you want to learn more, we recommend you take our Marital Health Assessment. It is a free assessment that gives insight on your Marital Health and what we recommended as next steps based on your Marital Health score. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "I love life and am dreaming again because God has bought healing to my marriage. It’s ...
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    37 m
  • 10 Years. No Social Media. Millions Reached. The DYM Story.

    10 Years. No Social Media. Millions Reached. The DYM Story.
    Mar 27 2025

    Hi friend,

    This one’s pretty personal.

    After 10 years of podcasting, coaching, and quietly building Delight Your Marriage—without social media—we’re finally stepping into a new chapter. (I’m still kind of holding my breath saying that.)

    In today’s episode, I share the real behind-the-scenes story of:

    • Why I stayed off social all these years (and it’s deeper than just “not liking it”)

    • The Gideon moment that confirmed my calling to do this in secret

    • Publishing my book under a pseudonym—and the fears behind that decision

    • How God still grew DYM to a team of 10, hundreds of clients, and millions of downloads

    And most importantly—why we’re trying social media now.

    But! Before you go hunting down our Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube… wait just one more day.

    Tomorrow (Friday), we’ll be sending you all the links (if you're on our email list -- if not go to delightyourmarriage.com) so you can follow, share, and help us get this message out to the world.

    For now—would you take a moment to listen to this episode? I poured my heart into it.

    With love and (slightly trembling?) excitement,
    Belah

    P.S. I won’t be reading the comments (my team will!)—but if something resonates, share it with a friend. That’s how this whole thing started in the first place. :)
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    37 m
  • 475-Freedom from The Purity Culture Half-Truths

    475-Freedom from The Purity Culture Half-Truths
    Mar 21 2025
    Freedom from The Purity Culture Half Truths If you’re anything like me, you grew up knowing that sex was something to be saved for marriage. Maybe you heard it in church, at youth group, from your parents, or maybe it was something just understood. You were told to “save yourself,” and by God’s grace—you did. But now you’re married. And... what gives? Why is this thing that’s supposed to be beautiful, powerful, and God-designed... still clouded with guilt? Why does it feel so hard to enjoy? Why does it feel wrong? Friend, I get it. I was right there with you. Why Christian Wives Struggle With Sex After Marriage See, the problem is that many of us were given half-truths about sex. Yes, sex is meant for marriage. That’s clear in Scripture (Matthew 19:5, Hebrews 13:4, and so many others). But what wasn’t clear—what was never really taught—was what happens after the wedding. We weren’t told that sex could be joyful, playful, passionate, and a gift. We weren’t told that it was meant to be good for you, dear wife—not just your husband. We weren’t told that God is the one who designed our bodies with tens of thousands of pleasure-sensitive nerve endings. That He’s not shocked by desire. He created it. Instead, many of us internalized the message that sex is shameful, dirty, and something to be tolerated—maybe even resented. And so, we carried that shame right into our marriages. My Personal Journey From Sexual Shame to Intimacy I didn’t grow up having “the talk.” There was no open, healthy conversation about sex or my body. What I had was silence, shame, and confusion. I stumbled onto pornography while innocently doing homework one day, and curiosity turned into a struggle I couldn’t shake for many years. And even though I was a virgin on my wedding night, sex was not what I expected. It was painful—physically and emotionally. My husband and I didn’t know how to understand each other. I assumed if he really loved God, he wouldn’t have so many desires. I didn’t understand that God made him that way—and me, too. But I didn't feel free to receive that truth. But God brought me on a journey of healing—of discovering what His Word really says. That sex in marriage is good. That it’s for unity. That it’s for mutual joy. That “May you ever be intoxicated with her love” (Proverbs 5:19) is not an embarrassing suggestion—it’s God’s idea. When Sex Feels Like a Chore Instead of a Gift Even with this new desire, I still didn’t (and still don’t!) have the same drive as my husband. And often, I would fall into that trap of “duty sex”. Yes, I know what that’s like. I’ve done it. I’ve gone into intimacy just hoping to avoid conflict. But friend, that’s not God’s best. That’s not what He dreamed up when He designed your body or your marriage. When I engage in intimacy from a place of love and trust, I come out of it refreshed, connected, grounded. Even if I wasn’t “in the mood” at the beginning, choosing to lean in with the right heart often opens the door to real pleasure—real bonding. It’s a spiritual gift. Are Your Sexual Boundaries From God—or Just Tradition? One thing that often hindered this connection and desire was the restrictions I put on my own self, but where had these even come from? They weren’t from the Bible. Sometimes, the rules we put on ourselves aren’t in the Bible—they’re just tradition, fear, or misunderstanding. I want to challenge you to ask: Is this boundary actually from God? Because Scripture gives us boundaries to keep sex holy—but it doesn’t micromanage how you express love with your spouse. God is not offended by pleasure. He invented it. Let’s stop walking past the “sunset” He painted for us in this area of our lives. Let’s slow down, take a breath, and receive the beauty. How to Heal From Sexual Shame and Embrace Freedom Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a step-by-step path out of shame and into joy. And yes, sometimes that means trying something a little new—changing up the lighting, experimenting with different types of touch, or even using intimacy accessories (yep, I said it!) to help bridge the gap between desire and delight. And no, not every time has to be earth-shattering. But what if some of the times were breathtaking? What if the oneness and the joy and the laughter and the satisfaction made you say, “Wow, thank you, God”? Because He deserves that praise. He made you for this. He wants this for you. Final Thoughts Sweet sister, I’m so proud of you. You’ve already taken a step by reading this far. Don’t stop now! God made your body for beauty. He made your marriage for joy. And He made sex for you, too. With love, Belah & Team PS - If you want to check out the Pre-Marriage workbooks mentioned in today's episode, check out our Amazon page. All three are available now! PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "My faith has grown. I am ...
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    39 m
  • 474-Her Marriage Was "Dissolving", Now It's Saved & Growing: Kalee's Story

    474-Her Marriage Was "Dissolving", Now It's Saved & Growing: Kalee's Story
    Mar 14 2025
    Her Marriage Was "Dissolving", Now It's Saved & Growing: Kalee's Story

    Before she began the Delighted Wife program, Kalee was in a place of deep discouragement. She and her husband, Chris, had been married for eight years, built a beautiful family together, and yet, they felt utterly lost. Their marriage was dissolving, and hopelessness had settled in.

    She didn’t see a way out.

    But God did.

    In His divine intervention, Chris was introduced to the program through a friend who had experienced transformation in his own marriage. Chris took a step of faith, signed up for the program, and invited Kalee to do the same. What she didn’t realize was that the biggest transformation wouldn’t just be in her marriage—it would be in herself.

    Finding Confidence, Finding Herself

    Kalee entered the program believing that her marriage was the only problem. But as she journeyed through the teachings, she came to see something deeper. She lacked confidence. She didn’t understand her worth. She had been seeking validation in others, rather than allowing God to restore her from the inside out.

    Through the program, Kaylee began to see how deeply God loved her, how valuable she was, and how her identity wasn’t defined by the struggles of the past.

    And as she changed, so did her marriage.

    A Marriage Restored

    Kalee and Chris both went through the program separately, which turned out to be a gift. After years of couples’ therapy, they found that what this program allowed them to do was heal separately rather than working together.

    Instead of coming at each other with blame, they were each able to focus on their own growth, healing, and the changes they personally needed to make.

    The result? A marriage that was once on the brink of destruction was now filled with trust, forgiveness, and connection. The barriers of past hurts were broken down, and they began to see each other through fresh eyes.

    Kalee describes it as the first time in years she didn’t feel fear lingering in her mind about the future of their marriage. She and Chris were finally on solid ground, and for the first time in a long time, they had peace.

    A Ripple Effect of Joy in Her Home

    But this transformation didn’t just stay between Kalee and Chris—it overflowed into their home. Their children, especially their oldest daughter, began to experience the difference.

    Their daughter, who had been cautious and unsure about marriage because of what she had witnessed in their home, was now talking about her own future as a wife and mother. In her playtime, she began to play “Mom” and “Wife”, something that Kalee had never seen before.

    Where once there was tension and uncertainty, now there was joy. She saw her parents in a new light—loving, affectionate, and truly connected.

    There is Hope for You

    Maybe you find yourself where Kalee once was. Maybe you feel hopeless, uncertain, and afraid that your marriage won’t survive. But let me encourage you—God is still in the business of restoring marriages. He still brings beauty from ashes. He still makes all things new.

    If Kalee’s story resonates with you, I invite you to take a step toward healing. Don’t let fear or hopelessness hold you back. Your marriage can be transformed. Your home can be filled with peace and joy. It starts with taking that first step.

    God bless you on your journey.

    He is able, and He is faithful.

    Love,

    Belah & Team

    PS - If you're ready to take the step that Kalee made, schedule a free Clarity Call here. Not quite ready for that yet? Take our free online Marital Health Assessment to learn more about the current health of your marriage and next steps to take.

    PPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate:
    "I feel so much more joyful. I have learned how to be playful and silly again…I am growing in my understanding of my value based on Christ's righteousness, not my own accomplishments. My eyes have been opened to many areas where I am Martha instead of Mary…I have so much more hope for the future…We are a more joy-filled family…there is HOPE and we are healing!”
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    27 m
  • 473-Energy and Motivation God's Way

    473-Energy and Motivation God's Way
    Mar 7 2025
    Getting out of your bed in the morning requires motivation. Doing your work requires motivation. Sacrificing for your spouse the way God asks us to, requires motivation. You may be motivated by external forces like your boss, achieving certain bank account numbers, or a personal feeling of accomplishment. Those aren't necessarily bad. But if you're having trouble with motivation for the things that are most important in your life: God, marriage, kids... this episode is for you. There are two encouragements Jesus gives us that can really help with your motivation to do what is most important: 1- The parable of the Three Servants (Matt 25: 14 - 28) 2- Come to me and I will give you rest -- the burden I give you is light (Matt 11: 28 - 30) The parable talks of three servants entrusted with money while the master went on a long trip. One was entrusted with 5 bags of silver, another with 2 bags of silver and the last with 1 bag of silver. When the master returned, two of the three had "worked" and "invested" which doubled their silver. But the servant with just 1 bag didn't even try. He was in self-pity, covetousness and fear. The master called him wicked and lazy. May we not fall into the trap of a - Self-pity: aka pride, because we SHOULD have a better circumstance. God SHOULD have given us better. b - Covetousness: looking at someone else's perceived lot in life and crave it c - Fear: Our perspective of God is harsh and unfair so we are paralyzed to try. Instead, let us look forward to hearing our master's praise. Let us be motivated by the anticipation of seeing God on that day say "well done!" and lavish praise on us for doing what He has asked us to do with what He has entrusted to us. If this feels like such a heavy weight right now, I want you to be encouraged by the second portion of scripture where Jesus invites us to come to Him with our burdens. And learn from Him. And gain insight on what He ACTUALLY is asking of us. Not to carry the whole world -- but to gain insight into what His burden for us to carry actually is -- which Jesus says "is light". Come to Him with your burden. Don't let the enemy tempt you with self-pity, coveting, or fear. Instead, come to Jesus and gain His strength so you can hear "Well done! Good. Faithful. Servant". In the episode, I give practical outworkings of all of this and I hope it's an episode that will give you a pep in your step and a zing of motivation to do what God is asking of you in your relationship with Him, in your relationship with your spouse and those entrusted to your care. Love and Blessings, Belah
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    42 m
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