Episodios

  • Mark Normand Is A Gay Dad | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    Mark Normand Is A Gay Dad | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    Jun 9 2025
    SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS ! #trueclassicpod - Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the hilariously unfiltered Mark Normand! The episode kicks off with farts and sharts as Mark shares the horrifying tale of sharting on a date right after letting one rip at the top of the show. The Bears talk about parenthood, including Mark's brand-new baby, Tom's kids telling gay jokes, the absolute chaos of tiny humans mimicking adult behavior, and the innocence of youth. They next dive into Tom Cruise’s intensity, his popcorn-eating habits, and whether the man who saved cinema is also just a little…off. Then they go deep on comedy life: struggling in New York, open mics, internet haters, and the brutal truth that even legends get roasted. Mark also shares more about life as a Brooklyn dad, falling asleep to podcasts, his time as a janitor, and a wild Copenhagen strip club story courtesy of Bert Kreischer. The conversation also hits on Tim Dillon's CNN moment, Sam Morril, Joe List, Vyvanse brain boosts, and weird dudes trying to get into business with Tom’s old corn star neighbor. Buckle up, queef it up, and enjoy! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 292 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:35 - Sharts & Babies 00:05:08 - Tom Cruise 00:13:42 - Dad Stuff 00:20:12 - COMEDY! 00:27:22 - Hate From The Internet 00:33:42 - New York Comedy Scene 00:38:46 - Gay For Bert 00:44:41 - Conquering New York 00:51:03 - Right Man For The Job 01:00:10 - Texas 01:03:34 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h y 7 m
  • Tom's Dad STOLE Dynamite & BLEW UP A Bridge w/ Barstool Big Cat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    Tom's Dad STOLE Dynamite & BLEW UP A Bridge w/ Barstool Big Cat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    Jun 2 2025
    Check out the newest podcast from YMH Studios "Not A Damn Chance"! Hosted by pro skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin-starred chef Phillip Frankland Lee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihy5odp5G9A SPONSORS: - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tim Segura and Bert Kershire are LIVE from the Barstool Chicago studio and share some stories of their latest shenanigans in the Windy City. The Bears also talk about bombing in Hawaii, jokes about slurs, fathers, women fading, whatever's going on in Bert's mouth, plus the internet hate for WNBA player Angel Reece and alleged royal Meghan Markle. The Bears are then joined by Big Cat who talks about stuff his kids are into lately and his favorite hobby aka gambling. Speaking of which, he also teaches the Bears about Dana White's infamous Tunnel of Chaos, before they pivot to the series "MobLand", and Tom shares a story about almost buying Dr. Dre's house. Bert also trash talks Tom's home base for some reason and compares us...I mean...it, to an abortion clinic or a dentist office, which, let me say is totally an exaggeration....I love working here. Enjoy the episode! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 291 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:36 - Chicago Shenanigans 00:16:06 - Mouth Stuff 00:19:39 - Bombing Hawaii 00:29:01 - Friends 00:36:51 - Internet 00:43:28 - Women 00:49:04 - Big Words 00:59:18 - Mandela Effects 01:03:51 - Kids Stuff With Big Cat 01:12:09 - Gambling 01:20:42 - MobLand 01:24:17 - Work From Home 01:30:37 - Big Cat's Other Interests Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h y 40 m
  • Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    May 26 2025
    Check out the newest podcast from YMH Studios "Not A Damn Chance"! Hosted by pro skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin-starred chef Phillip Frankland Lee SPONSORS: - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off plus FREE shipping on your first box. - Make friends and grab some merch at https://www.drinkporosos.com/ This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert is on a retreat in Istanbul so Tom Segura is joined by the brilliantly bizarre Harland Williams for an unhinged episode packed with supposedly true stories, bootyholes, and too many farts. Harland kicks things off by reminiscing about fingering calamari and the first time someone touched his arse—with a thermometer. Tom shares the traumatic moment he had to show a friend his infamously hairy sphincter... and yes, he ends up showing Harland too. Surprisingly, the conversation spirals into absurd territory with erotic drawings, smut searches, fart-catching attempts, a Dominican dick flash, and a deep dive into Enny’s alleged fondness for buttholes. Harland doesn’t disappoint either—he reacts to fart videos, tells a story about dating Madonna, and looks forward to tanning with Tom. The two also talk about creativity, recreational drugs, Harland's distrust of nicotine pouches, the anthems of both Canada and Texas, plus playing doctor, and horseshoes with neck pillows. Oh, and Harland names his favorite dictator. Stick around to find out if Harland ends up eating Tom. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 290 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:55 - Arses & Calamari Rings 00:14:34 - So Much Hair 00:26:10 - What's Going On With Canada? 00:31:24 - Measurements, Buzzes, & Vices 00:41:37 - Favorite Dictator 00:51:49 - Dating Madonna 00:55:46 - Clip: Baddie Farts 00:56:49 - Play Back The Tape 00:58:13 - Clip: Fart In One 00:59:29 - Tanning & Tour Dates 01:05:45 - Gas, Gashes, & Gruesome Videos 01:11:48 - Harland Wants To Eat Tom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h y 20 m
  • Bad Thoughts About Meghan Markle | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    Bad Thoughts About Meghan Markle | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    May 19 2025
    SPONSORS: - Grab your tickets at https://NASCAR.com/tickets. If you can’t make it, grab a beer and your friends, find your seat on the couch, and gear up for some of the best racing in the world at Charlotte Motor speedway. Tune in to the Coca Cola 600 this Sunday at 6:00 PM Eastern - Brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears to get 10% off your first month - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at https://mintmobile.com/BEARS. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on Tom’s new Netflix series Bad Thoughts — a disturbing, hilarious, and brilliantly unhinged ride that Charo absolutely hated. The Bears talk about favorite sketches, behind-the-scenes moments, bloopers, and why Bert is both joking and not joking about not being cast. They dive into the art of acting, working with writers, and getting lost in characters — plus Bert’s dream roles if he had been invited. Also: Tom's Italian guy character, hair insecurity, Kevin James dying his beard, and Tom's preference for a show that doesn't look like a comedy. Elsewhere, Bert shares his Post Malone + Jelly Roll solo mission, NASCAR plans, and recent attempts at eating clean and not drinking again. There’s debate over royal titles, Meghan Markle, Prince William, and a killer impression of the royal family worrying about baby skin tone. Plus: Bert’s mail opening trauma, how he weighs himself, cauliflower pizza, bar takeovers, and why Tom might actually like who he is. It’s full sketch comedy breakdown meets chaotic Bear therapy—don’t miss it. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 289 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:20 - Tom Talks Bad Thoughts 00:13:50 - Cinematography & Awkward Sex Scenes 00:21:45 - Casting Choices & Putting Friends In Movies 00:33:23 - Tom's Acting, Bert's "Sobriety", & NASCAR 00:40:20 - The Royals & Meghan Markle 00:55:01 - Bills 01:03:01 - Big Boys 01:09:31 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h y 8 m
  • Welcome to 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

    Welcome to 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
    May 12 2025
    Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 m
  • Ripping Beers & Running 5K's w/ Jason Kelce, N.O.R.E, and Beau Allen | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    Ripping Beers & Running 5K's w/ Jason Kelce, N.O.R.E, and Beau Allen | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    May 12 2025
    SPONSORS: - Head to https://bubblycleaning.com/Bears to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Bubbly Cleaning for sponsoring this episode! - Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. - Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code CAVE at https://www.Ridge.com/CAVE #Ridgepod This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kershire are LIVE from the 2 Bears 5k in Tampa Bay Florida! They aren't alone either, the bears are joined by not one, not two, but three guest bears! Joining Tom and Bert are rapper/running enthusiast N.O.R.E, as well as, former NFL players/Super Bowl champs, Jason Kelce and Beau Allen. The group all get together to talk about the real challenges of the 2 Bears 5k, who the best drinkers are, running, nicknames, dictators, Hype Williams, stupid purchases, and so much more. Enjoy the show! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 288 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:17 - N.O.R.E 00:14:48 - Japanese Whiskey 00:20:12 - Beau Allen & Jason Kelce 00:26:33 - The Best Drinkers & Worst NFL Matchups 00:35:33 - Nicknames & Dictators 00:42:02 - Hype Williams 00:45:39 - NFL Rookies 00:53:51 - Drinking Before A Big Game 00:58:23 - Stupid Purchases 01:06:16 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h y 9 m
  • MrBallen Traumatizes Tom Segura | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    MrBallen Traumatizes Tom Segura | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    May 5 2025
    Check out MrBallen’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@MrBallen SPONSORS: - Buy Jack Link's Duos at https://JackLinks.com/DUOS or at your local convenience, gas, grocery store or subscribe and save on Amazon. - Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/bears! #squarepod - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - Brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/bears to get 10% off your first month. On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the legendary storyteller himself—MrBallen! Get ready for an epic conversation as they dive into some of the wildest true crime mysteries and horror stories, including the chilling unsolved case of the Yuba County Five and a gruesome incident on an oil rig that will haunt your dreams. They also explore mind-blowing topics like habitable exoplanets, Katy Perry’s space adventure, and MrBallen’s incredible journey from Navy SEAL to YouTube sensation. Don't miss this one—it's a mix of mystery, mayhem, and a whole lot of laughs. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 287 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:15 - The Strange, Dark, & Mysterious World Of MrBallen 00:07:29 - Why True Crime? 00:14:03 - The Stories That Stick With You 00:28:10 - The Yuba County Five 00:35:45 - Exoplanets 00:40:57 - Katy Perry In Space 00:44:47 - First Day On Seal Team 2 00:58:44 - New Career Path 01:10:06 - Grenade Moment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h y 18 m
  • The Blue Origin Broads Backlash w/ Thomas Lennon | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    The Blue Origin Broads Backlash w/ Thomas Lennon | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
    Apr 28 2025
    Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix! The 2 Bears 5k is this Sunday! There’s still time to sign up and join us in Tampa at Raymond James Stadium! Sign up at https://www.2bears5k.com/#intro SPONSORS: - Go to https://shipstation.com and use code CAVE to sign up for your FREE trial. - Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @drinklightstrike. - You can find Cremo’s new line of antiperspirants and deodorants at Target or https://Target.com - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. - Head to https://policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer is joined by legendary funnyman and certified bear Thomas Lennon for one of the wildest rides yet. No stranger to confrontations, Thomas tells Bert some stories about a fight he got into in the real-world and the internet. They dive into the Amazon reviews of Mein Kampf, unpack the all-female Blue Origin space flight, and debate which celebs should be launched into orbit next. Thomas also opens up about working with Christopher Nolan, shares the weirdest thing he’s ever used his fame for, and the two squirm over some spelunking stories. The two also discuss claustrophobia, Tom's basketball injury, suicide pods in Switzerland, and whether getting beat up by a woman is a fair fight. From film criticism to Karen moments, to the legendary Pink Palace, this episode has it all! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 286 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:23 - Mein Kampf 00:06:34 - Women In Space 00:11:03 - Happy Endings 00:18:18 - Back To The Lady Astronauts 00:22:37 - Thrill Seeking 00:26:00 - Caves 00:35:53 - A Funny Death 00:40:05 - Fame 00:45:47 - Tom's Broken Body 00:49:37 - Swiss Unalive Pods 00:56:38 - The Man Who Would Be King 00:59:44 - Christopher Nolan Movies 01:07:24 - Film Criticism 01:22:27 - Confrontations 01:34:57 - Cop Stuff 01:39:34 - Karen Moments 01:42:57 - Can't We All Just Get Along 01:49:38 - Couples Therapy & The Space Draft 01:55:31 - Body Acceptance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    2 h y 3 m
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