
The Holy F--king Bible
According to Matt Shaw
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Narrado por:
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Matt Shaw
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De:
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Matt Shaw
Acerca de esta escucha
The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw.
Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve.
For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.
©2022 Matt Shaw Publications (P)2022 Matt Shaw PublicationsLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre The Holy F--king Bible
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-06-24
Great guy
Is he sending in his resumes
Maybe not even be able too use this
Excuse me
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- Kim Dietter
- 08-15-23
Different Perspective on an Age Old Tale
I have found listening to Mr. Shaw read his work is a little happy treat in my day. His version of the Old Testament was quite entertaining. Right off the back he gives you that warning that he's doing it regardless how you feel and he makes no apologies. He also tells the audience, this is for those individuals who had no intention of reading the Bible. As a person who grew up Baptist and live life as a Pagan, having this perspective that includes "The Gods" (once you read/listen you'll understand) as they work the the creations of life and the first half of the Bible. There may or may not be the introduction to the scientific explanation of creation too, but I'll never tell for certain.
This was so much fun to listen to and I learned/revisited things I was shaky on although only so much could be fit in the allotted time. But if you're on a short trip and you've got an hour, definitely give this a chance.
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- Mel and Em
- 08-04-22
hilarious
what a fun twist on the Bible and even though it's poking fun it actually was less mean and pure comedy and Matt's performance fits it perfectly 10/10
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- Michelle Mendoza
- 11-26-24
Absolutely hilarious
Not for religious folx. This book is absolutely hilarious and brilliant. I read it in one go and will be reading it again later with my wife because I need to share the hilarity. I have a large online order of books shipping from Shaw’s personal website, for holiday, and after reading this book I am even more excited for the shipment.
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- Sand
- 06-15-23
Pure comedy
Matt's performance was amazing. I was expecting mean based on the intro, but was laughing out loud in the middle of the street. Great book!
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