BoyMom

Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity

De: Ruth Whippman

Narrado por: Ruth Whippman

Combining painfully honest memoir, cultural analysis, and reporting, BoyMom is a humorous and heartbreaking deep dive into the complexities of raising boys in our fraught political moment.

“Rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child, interrupter, mansplainer, boob-starer, birthday forgetter, frat boy, dude-bro, homophobe, self-important stoner, emotional-labor abstainer, non-wiper of kitchen counters. Trying to raise good sons suddenly felt like a hopeless task.”

As the culture wars rage, and masculinity has been politicized from all sides, feminist writer and mother of three boys Ruth Whippman finds herself conflicted and scared. While the right pushes a dangerous vision of fantasy manhood, her feminist peers often dismiss boys as little more than entitled predators-in-waiting. Meanwhile, her home life feels like a daily confrontation with the triumph of nature over nurture.

With young men in the grip of a loneliness epidemic and dying by suicide at a rate of nearly four times their female peers, Whippman asks: How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into privileged assholes? How can we find a feminism that holds boys to a higher standard but still treats them with empathy? And what do we do when our boys won’t cooperate with our plans?

Whippman digs into the impossibly contradictory pressures boys now face; and the harmful blind spots of male socialization that are leaving boys isolated, emotionally repressed, and adrift. Feminist gonzo-style, she spends months interviewing incels, reports on a conference for boys accused of sexual assault; crashes at a residential therapy center for young men in Utah, talks to a wide range of psychologists and other experts, and gets boys of all backgrounds to open up about sex, consent, porn, body image, mental health, cancel culture, screens, friendship, and loneliness. Along the way, she finds her simple certainties about male privilege seriously challenged.

With wit, honesty, and a refusal to settle for easy answers, BoyMom charts a new path to give boys a healthier, more expansive, and fulfilling story about their own lives.

©2024 Ruth Whippman (P)2024 Random House Audio

Reseñas de la Crítica

“Provocative and probing . . . Ruth Whippman investigates the changing orthodoxies of American manhood. She discovers loneliness and failed good intentions but also a longing for connection and moments of grace. Whippman shows us that we ought to think harder about who we want our boys to become.”—Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé

“Weaving her moving journey as a mother to three sons through a remarkably lucid review of child development and masculinity literatures, Whippman offers a powerful critique of our contemporary model for raising boys.”—Michael Reichert, author of How to Raise a Boy

“This book challenged and educated me, gave me hope while refusing easy answers. . . . A necessary addition to the canon of motherhood books.”—Amanda Montei, author of Touched Out

Great read!

I appreciate Whippman’s balanced perspective here. She touched on how patriarchal norms hurt boys and girls, women and men.

Completely Changed my Perspective of my Two Boys

Anyone that has a boy needs to read this book. It is insightful, enlightening, and honestly mind blowing. It brought up stereotypes that are so ingrained I had no idea that I subscribed to them. The research behind this book is incredible, all of the interviews, places she ventured to, and boys online she talks to is so interesting. I cannot recommend this book enough. I will be rereading this book every few years while I raise my boys to keep all of the information fresh. Oh and I loved that the author read it, she has a great accent and voice that is fun to listen to.

Outstanding analysis

Anyone who is raising a boy or wants to ensure our nation’s boys thrive should read this book.

The Most Impactful Parenting Book I’ve Read

Do not miss this book. It is truly transformative, and will provide you with profound insight into how to be the best possible feminist mother to your sweet boy.

Fantastic

This is a book that everyone should read, whether you’re a Boy Mom or not. Thank you to Ruth Whippman for starting this conversation!

Amazing book - relevant for all

This is one of the best books I have read in a long time. I am a mother of two young boys so was drawn to this, but as I begin listening I really felt everyone should read this book. I have five brothers who have struggled in various ways, one of which died by suicide about 10 years ago. I deeply related to a lot of the things she describes, from folks being sympathetic that I have two boys, to the crucial human connection that boys often miss out on in this life. I felt her accounting was very honest, nuanced, and straightforward. Highly recommend!

Relatable.

All of my thoughts, concerns, wonders, worries, emotions, and motivations about raising a boy were validated in this book. It gave me an opportunity to listen, reflect, question, and put thoughts into action. There was a sense of community listening to the stories within. Thank you.

A different perspective

As a masculine conservative female mother, I struggle to see the issue with masculinity and did a lot of wincing while listening to this book. Overall it was a good book with a lot of self reflection. I think the author fails to realize that men and women are desperate to separate ourselves from one another. Feminism has created a smaller gap between the sexes and we are trying to set ourselves apart from one another. As a very masculine woman, I struggled to find a masculine man. I want to feel like a woman, just like a man wants to feel like a man. I cannot help but think how all of these issues she discusses would be solved if women were allowed to stay home and raise their children, like they are meant to be. Yes, you read that right, meant to be. That is coming from a woman who works in a male dominated field. I have more important job at home that I cannot do since it takes two incomes to survive. Who thought it was a “lesser” role in society raising the next generation? Women have lost the “choice” to stay home and we are seeing the consequences. Who needs friends when u family?

Some good points that take too long to come up

I wanted to read this hopping that would provide insights based on something. although there are some valid points, the author takes too long describing her own experience, but also painting a general picture that just seems too exaggerated and with no support apart from hear say.

"consent is a murky concept"

I was looking for practical advice about raising emotionally intelligent boys and I got none of that from this book. The author goes into lengthy deliberations about whether "the men are ones who are now oppressed" as a result of feminists' work. She interviews incels and convicted rapists and somehow comes to a conclusion that consent is now a murky concept that became too hard for modern boys to grasp, among other ridiculous statements. I will be asking for a refund and I wish I could get my time back after listening to this.