Behind the Dress

One Woman's Life in a Religious Cult, and the Healing That Came After

De: Christine Faour

Narrado por: Alex Picard

Have you known someone who was in a cult? Do you think you know your neighbors pretty well? You really don't know what's going on behind the smile, the dress, and the doors of the house down the street.

This is the story of a Canadian woman who was in the Advanced Training Institute, run by Bill Gothard, for fourteen years. The amazing thing is that she never knew she was in a cult until several years after she was out. That's what happened to Christine in 2014. She has spent the past nine years trying to deprogram and change the way she sees the world. The Advanced Training Institute had all the hallmarks of a cult, it even fit Bill Gothard's definition of a cult, but Christine and her family believed they were God's cream of the crop. Join her as she navigates the cult, goes through a divorce, finds out she was in a cult and subsequently has to unlearn all she believed to be true. Interestingly, this is the same cult the Duggar family of 19 Kids and Counting is a part of.

Written with humor and candor, her story is both heart wrenching and humorous at the same time.

©2022 Christine Faour (P)2024 Tantor

Interesting but not what I expected

I enjoyed this pretty well, since I find inside looks at cults an interesting topic; however, it wasn't really what I expected or hoped for. Other memoirs I've read have focused more on drawing the reader into the story through novel-like storytelling that helps readers vicariously experience the story. Commentary takes a back seat, at least until the end. This memoir is more like a book-length personal essay with much more introspection and reflection and less immersion into the world of the author's story. In addition, much of the book is about the author's life after escaping the ATI, as she tried to rebuild her life and become her own person again.

I can see how this may be just what some readers need, but I was more interested in the cult itself. I also really wanted to know how her religious beliefs and convictions changed after leaving the cult. It seemed that she still doesn't really know God or Jesus after all these years, that her religious ideas are more centered on the world's ideas of what's right and true and not authentic Christianity. This discussion seemed of prime importance to me, yet she didn't discuss her relationship with God at all post-cult. Only at the very end does she merely hint that she still attends church.

I also found myself a little frustrated by the writing. The author repeated herself a lot and moved forward and backward in time in a way that made me wonder if the chapters were originally written out of order or even as separate essays. She also spent a lot of time lamenting her decisions, almost as if she felt she needed to convince the reader that she recognizes her mistakes as well as the reader can. It wasn't quite virtue-signaling but got pretty close, which I found tedious.

Overall, though, I think this is an important addition to cult memoirs, and I'm glad to learn about it. It is gratifying to see that healing can be real and that there can be a healthy life for former members. For some people, I can see how Faour's story may even be a lifeline.