A Well-Trained Wife

My Escape from Christian Patriarchy

De: Tia Levings

Narrado por: Tia Levings

This gripping audiobook is a strong choice alongside books about high-demand religion, overcoming odds, and finding inner strength in impossible situations."—Booklist (Starred Review)

This program is read by the author.

“Today it hit me when he hit me, blood shaking in my brain. Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. Maybe it was up to me to save me.”

Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”

Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn't risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

©2024 Tia Levings (P)2024 Macmillan Audio

Reseñas de la Crítica

“In this brave memoir on domestic violence within Christian patriarchy, Tia Levings vulnerably shares her story of survival. With devastating detail, she reveals the many shades of abuse that happen within the world of evangelicalism, a world that was supposed to protect her. The many women who have walked this path from oppression to freedom will find solidarity in these pages.”—Cait West, author of Rift

"I've never given a book a standing ovation until this one. A Well-Trained Wife is a prayer, for all of us. The world is lucky Tia Levings found her freedom and her voice. A reckoning for those who sanction abuse in the name of salvation."—Ashleigh Renard, author of Swing

"With unflinching honesty and relentless self-reflection, Levings’ debut memoir is a portrait in courage."—Julie Bogart, author of The Brave Learner and Raising Critical Thinkers

A review from a chronic non-reviewer

Despite listening to around three audiobooks a month, I rarely leave reviews. Tia’s book was so exceptional that I felt it would be a disservice to her potential readers not to leave one.

Tia’s book is a heart-wrenching personal exploration of the abuse and silencing that occurs in the fundamentalism movement that has been gaining ground in the United States. Beginning with her childhood, Tia unpacks and explores how her sense of self and worth were chipped away at and placed her in the vulnerable position of believing her only worth as a woman was through being a dutiful, god-fearing wife.

As she detailed her marriage and the numerous abuses and losses she survived, my heart broke for her and for the other women in my family and life who have been trapped. Her descriptions, though not gratuitous, are detailed and may be triggering for those of us who have witnessed and experienced IPV, so be mindful of that. That being said, I never felt that the details were excessive or unnecessary to the unfolding narrative.

Another area where Tia excelled was in the sections and moments where she interwove the broader fundamentalism into her individual experience, highlighting that her story is not an isolated “flaw” but an intentional design of the system. This smooth oscillation between the micro and macro demonstrates not only Tia’s skill as a writer but her profound journey and healing from fundamentalist teachings. In this way, Tia has surpassed other novels of deconstruction that have emerged in the past several years. Stories like hers hurt to write and read, and I hope to read more from her in the future.

So impressed, moved and proud

I’ve followed Tia on social media for quite a while and have been eagerly awaiting this book release…and what a triumph it is! Always rich, evocative and raw, I smiled/wept every time she mentioned one of the writers who helped light my own path to freedom (David Richo, Mary Oliver, Liz Gilbert, etc.). We can all add the name Tia Levings to this list, in hopes that our friends, mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins will reclaim their true Self and voice too. Brava, beautiful! Thank you for shining your light.

Powerful. Moving.

Wow. Amazing story that felt relatable and cathartic for me! Tia Levings has written a timely retelling of her experience not only within the stifling confines of some religious societies but also her struggles with loving someone who is profoundly wounded. Unexpectedly powerful for me and a story I will not soon forget.

The author’s honesty stood out the most.

Tia’s bruttal honesty about her life in the ways of the IBLP/SBC shines a light on the anuses engrained in patriarchy.

Beautiful, deep, insightful writing.

Tia Levings is a gifted writer sharing and bringing light to an unknown world for many.

Putting words to things I never knew how to say

Thank you for writing this, and for narrating it. Your story reflects those of countless others, myself included. I didn’t have the words for some aspects of my journey but your book has inspired me to find them.

Bold truth telling.

This was a deeply moving and emotional read. I feel tremendous gratitude to the author for sharing her unvarnished experiences.

Gripping. Soulful. Necessary.

I found and started following Tia several years ago on instagram when she started speaking on the effects of patriarchal norms found in fundamental Christianity. As someone who grew up in a subculture of Christianity bordering fundamentalism that at times lurched into the grips of Gothard's teachings, I have always found her insights to be spot on. To learn more about her past and how she is practically walking towards healing was an incredible ride. And for her to not only be doing the very heavy work of healing herself but ALSO sharing resources, offering insight, and shining a light into the dark places cruel, power-hungry, extremist religious leaders don't want illuminated is one of the bravest things I can imagine.

Tia is a fantastic author, an excellent orator, and a kick-ass story-teller. There may be triggers in this story for those with spousal, religious, or familial abuse in their history. But her story and especially the ending chapters are metaphorical light in the darkness of abuse.

Keep it up. Stay strong. You are worth it. Your voice matters. You are valued. Fight for you, because no one else will.

It showed me a horror of culture close to me

I knew it was terrible for women raised in fundamentalist communities. I knew husbands could be cruel. But as a father to a daughter and a man who is husband to a wife, I never imaged it like this. I am grateful to know this story/

Inspiring

Tia Levings writing and story are both incredible. Her gentle voice makes the depravity of her trauma slightly more digestible. Thank you for sharing your story