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Narrado por:
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Tucker Max
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De:
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Tucker Max
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What do you do after you write a number-one best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- De Jonathan Placek en 03-02-16
De: Bonnie McFarlane
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- De: Lauren Weedman
- Narrado por: Lauren Weedman
- Duración: 8 h y 33 m
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- De Ajules29 en 04-02-16
De: Lauren Weedman
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- De: Amber Tozer
- Narrado por: Amber Tozer
- Duración: 5 h y 15 m
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Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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Author's voice unbearable
- De Kylee en 12-09-16
De: Amber Tozer
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The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy
- De: B. T. Gottfred
- Narrado por: Alex McKenna, Maxwell Glick, B. T. Gottfred
- Duración: 11 h y 12 m
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Everyone assumes that Zee is a lesbian. Her classmates, her gym buddies, even her so-called best friend. Even Zee is starting to wonder. Could they be on to something? Everyone assumes that Art is gay. They take one look at his nice clothes and his pretty face and think: well, obviously. But there's more to Zee and Art than anyone realizes.
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Just WOW!
- De L. Caplan en 09-07-18
De: B. T. Gottfred
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- De: Corey Taylor
- Narrado por: Corey Taylor
- Duración: 7 h y 54 m
- Versión completa
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- De jeremy en 09-22-15
De: Corey Taylor
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- De: Julie Klausner
- Narrado por: Julie Klausner
- Duración: 6 h y 23 m
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- De Pamela Harvey en 01-02-13
De: Julie Klausner
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- De: Sarah Colonna
- Narrado por: Sarah Colonna
- Duración: 6 h y 21 m
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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clearance shelf material
- De lisa martinez en 04-28-15
De: Sarah Colonna
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Single State of Mind
- De: Andi Dorfman
- Narrado por: Andi Dorfman
- Duración: 8 h y 59 m
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- De c63989 en 01-10-18
De: Andi Dorfman
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- De: Artie Lange
- Narrado por: Oliver Wyman
- Duración: 6 h y 32 m
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- De B. Wenners en 08-24-18
De: Artie Lange
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- De: Charles McDowell
- Narrado por: Kirby Heyborne
- Duración: 8 h y 1 m
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- De Elle W en 11-05-13
De: Charles McDowell
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Hyena
- De: Jude Angelini
- Narrado por: Jude Angelini
- Duración: 3 h y 38 m
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Hyena is a collection of autobiographical stories by Jude Angelini, which takes the listener on his journey of heartbreak, depravity, and hilarity, deftly moving between his adult life and his childhood growing up in a factory town outside of Detroit. Each story is told with brutal honesty yet maintains a gallows humor that will leave you shaking your head in disbelief.
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Awesome book, would steal it
- De Dylan S en 09-20-17
De: Jude Angelini
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A Bad Idea I'm About to Do
- True Tales of Seriously Poor Judgment and Stunningly Awkward Adventure
- De: Chris Gethard
- Narrado por: Chris Gethard
- Duración: 7 h y 13 m
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Chris Gethard has often found himself in awkward situations most people, including you, probably would have safely avoided. The good news is now, thanks to this book, you can enjoy the painfully funny consequences of his unfortunate decisions at a safe distance. A Bad Idea I'm About to Do invites listeners to join Chris as he navigates an adolescence and adulthood mired in hilariously ill-fated nerdom, and to take comfort in the fact that - as his experiences often prove - things could always be much, much worse.
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Loved it!!!
- De Amber G en 10-02-20
De: Chris Gethard
Las personas que vieron esto también vieron...
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I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
- Unabridged Selections
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 5 h y 43 m
- Versión completa
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"My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world."
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I don't think he should have narrated the book...
- De Nils J. Rasmussen en 08-20-13
De: Tucker Max
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Hilarity Ensues
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 9 h y 38 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Here's Tucker Max's third and final book in his series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole," and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
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Unbearable.
- De Angie en 04-10-13
De: Tucker Max
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Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 3 h y 20 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest" and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like an audiobook version of deleted scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.
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Slightly Disappointing
- De Alex en 05-08-12
De: Tucker Max
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Mate
- Become the Man Women Want
- De: Tucker Max, Geoffrey Miller PhD
- Narrado por: Geoffrey Miller PhD
- Duración: 12 h y 43 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20-plus years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
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Essential Reading for any man!!
- De Raul Vargas en 03-14-16
De: Tucker Max, y otros
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The Scribe Method
- The Best Way to Write and Publish Your Non-Fiction Book
- De: Tucker Max, Zach Obront
- Narrado por: Ryan Hicks
- Duración: 10 h y 1 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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The Scribe Method is the tested and proven process that will help you navigate the entire book-writing process from start to finish–the right way.
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the flow
- De cindy fox en 06-01-24
De: Tucker Max, y otros
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Sh-t My Dad Says
- De: Justin Halpern
- Narrado por: Sean Schemmel
- Duración: 3 h y 8 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
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Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- De Michael en 05-08-10
De: Justin Halpern
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I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
- Unabridged Selections
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 5 h y 43 m
- Versión completa
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General
-
Narración:
-
Historia
"My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world."
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I don't think he should have narrated the book...
- De Nils J. Rasmussen en 08-20-13
De: Tucker Max
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Hilarity Ensues
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 9 h y 38 m
- Versión completa
-
General
-
Narración:
-
Historia
Here's Tucker Max's third and final book in his series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole," and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
-
-
Unbearable.
- De Angie en 04-10-13
De: Tucker Max
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Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers
- De: Tucker Max
- Narrado por: Tucker Max
- Duración: 3 h y 20 m
- Versión completa
-
General
-
Narración:
-
Historia
As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest" and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like an audiobook version of deleted scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.
-
-
Slightly Disappointing
- De Alex en 05-08-12
De: Tucker Max
-
Mate
- Become the Man Women Want
- De: Tucker Max, Geoffrey Miller PhD
- Narrado por: Geoffrey Miller PhD
- Duración: 12 h y 43 m
- Versión completa
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General
-
Narración:
-
Historia
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20-plus years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
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-
Essential Reading for any man!!
- De Raul Vargas en 03-14-16
De: Tucker Max, y otros
-
The Scribe Method
- The Best Way to Write and Publish Your Non-Fiction Book
- De: Tucker Max, Zach Obront
- Narrado por: Ryan Hicks
- Duración: 10 h y 1 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
The Scribe Method is the tested and proven process that will help you navigate the entire book-writing process from start to finish–the right way.
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the flow
- De cindy fox en 06-01-24
De: Tucker Max, y otros
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Sh-t My Dad Says
- De: Justin Halpern
- Narrado por: Sean Schemmel
- Duración: 3 h y 8 m
- Versión completa
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General
-
Narración:
-
Historia
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
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Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- De Michael en 05-08-10
De: Justin Halpern
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Assholes Finish First
Con calificación alta para:
Reseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- Jose Adolfo Vela
- 05-04-23
Hilarious, A great writer!!
Tucker has a way of describing moments and makes them funny. I had a friend in N.y who was similar to Max so the book made me kind of reminisce my teen and early 20's. who need to listen to this book you ask, well it's the really nice guys who finish last and from Max perspective you can see why he always finishes first, just like my friend in N.Y he never gave a F@ck and women just gravitated to him. if you listen carefully there's allot you can learn , like how girls play you when they get pregnant from other guys and tell you the kid is yours, this happened to me and some of the other situatuons Max found himself in. I wish I would have had Tucker Max info available to me when I was younger to have avoided some situations. I do want to thank Tucker Max for writing this book.
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- Kindle Customer
- 06-23-17
SMH...HUGE balls Tucker!!!!!
Oh. My. God! This book is so funny. I actually bought the paperback at the Goodwill for like 75 cents or something. I read the first chapter and waited two days to get the free audible. I laughed my butt off. This guy is such a douche. But, to be honest how many times have you actually just said and did what you felt and didn't worry about the consequences? I can honestly say that, yes, he was an asshole, but, I'm married to an asshole that's just as bad so I can honestly say that I enjoyed Tucker's asshole tendencies. I absolutly loved his sex stories, it takes HUGE balls to admit to some of what Tucker has admitted to. But, hey, like he said, there wouldn't be a book without them. He says what he thinks, does what he wants, consequencies be damned. I loved it.
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- Angelina
- 12-31-14
LOL!
What made the experience of listening to Assholes Finish First the most enjoyable?
I read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and it was HILARIOUS. Just up my ally. I looked up Tucker Max to see if he had any other books, and I hit the jackpot. I downloaded all of them and listened to them back to back. It helped that i read them in order.
What did you like best about this story?
Hilarious. Just hilarious. I have a foul sense of humor that not many people may share, so this book was perfect. I would have a beer or two with Tucker Max.
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- Hanna
- 08-20-13
Don't Know If I Love Him Or Hate Him
Would you consider the audio edition of Assholes Finish First to be better than the print version?
100% .. having him narrate it made the book even funnier!
What about Tucker Max’s performance did you like?
He is such an asshole, and it works!
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No but I listened to all his audio books back to back, and didn't get bored!
Any additional comments?
If you like him you should definitely listen to Chelsea Handler's My Horizonal Life, she is the female version of Tucker Maxx!
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- Dave
- 12-01-16
great stories
hard to understand this guy at times, but we'll worth the effort to listen to. just great.
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- James Moyse
- 11-08-15
Decent if you liked the first book
Only read this if you read I hope they serve beer in hell and you really, really, liked it. This book is almost as funny
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- Alex Gallagher
- 07-29-19
Kindred Spirit
Best series of fucked up stories I've heard. Tent City bend the the fucking knee and obey the legend that is Tucker Max.
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- Jonathan H
- 04-28-18
this was fuckin epic oh my God
i read i hope they serve beer in hell a few years ago, and for some reason dismissed this book for a long time. oh my God i loved it
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- zhanna lyashchuk
- 08-11-18
Great stories
Enjoyed the audiobook except a few stories were missing from the audiobook that were in the book.
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- Katheryn
- 07-08-15
Awesome
Everything I expected. Raunchy, lewd, and offendingly hilarious. Tucker max is the stuff of dreams.
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