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After a decade of therapy and a stint in a psychiatric ward to treat suicidal depression, Arianna Rebolini was “better.” She’d published her first book, enjoyed an influential, rewarding publishing job, and celebrated both a marriage and the birth of her first child—but none of it was enough to keep the desire to die at bay. One night, grappling with overwhelming debt and a prolonged depression, she composed goodbye letters to her husband and son while they slept just feet away.

“There is no good way to state these facts, which must be acknowledged. My husband and I had two children and lost them both: Vincent in 2017, at sixteen, James in 2024, at nineteen. Both chose suicide, and both died not far from home.” There is no good way to say this—because words fall short. It takes only an instant for death to become fact, “a single point in a timeline.” Living now on this single point, Li turns to thinking and reasoning and searching for words that might hold a place for James.

If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know that you are not alone. When you're suffering, life can feel overwhelming and even insurmountable. This guided journal offers a safe space to help you process these difficult thoughts, soothe emotional pain, and create a crisis plan if needed. Grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this journal provides gentle writing prompts to help you safely explore your thoughts and feelings, understand symptoms and triggers, and identify your reasons for living.