Secrets of Sex and Marriage
8 Surprises That Make All the Difference
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Narrated by:
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Shaunti Feldhahn
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Michael Sytsma
About this listen
Let's Talk about Sex
Most people are curious about sex and would love a few answers. "Are we normal?" "Why isn't my spouse as interested in sex as I am?" "I don't want to feel pressured, but don't want to disappoint my spouse either—what do I do?" "How do we handle the impact of medication, menopause, porn, ED, pain . . . ?"
Most importantly: "How can we get on the same page and create a thriving intimate life?"
Sex is one of the most common marriage issues (for example, almost 80% of couples are mismatched in how often they want it), but it doesn't have to be that way.
Relationship researcher Shaunti Feldhahn and renowned sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma have identified eight simple, transformational factors to help you move from disconnection to delight. This is knowledge you can trust, based on vast clinical experience and their breakthrough research, including the largest nationally representative study ever conducted with married couples about sex. This book is not a "sex manual"; it is a fascinating, practical field guide that will help you intimately understand your spouse and create the marriage you've always wanted.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Veritas Enterprises, Inc., and Michael Sytsma (P)2023 eChristianListeners also enjoyed...
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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated
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For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
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Usless!!!
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Erotic Intelligence
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- Narrated by: Esther White
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Enjoyable, exciting sex is possible after sex addiction. As a sex, marriage, and family therapist, Alexandra Katehakis introduces a successful program for sufferers and their loved ones that will help them hone their erotic intelligence by making sense of the past, creating healthy habits in the present, and looking toward a more intimate relationship that nurtures honesty and closeness. With Katehakis's help, sex addicts can get in touch with their healthy sexual side and embrace true intimacy and acceptance in themselves and in their mates.
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Care for Self Recovery
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Very insightful & evokative for introspection
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
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Very insightful
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Great Book for marriage.
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Painful, shortsighted and limited on actual new information
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Sheet Music
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For married couples and those engaged to be married, Sheet Music is a practical guide to sex according to God's plan. In his characteristic style, Kevin Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse. Using frank descriptions, this audiobook has a warm and friendly tone that will help couples overcome awkwardness in discussing an issue important to all married couples.
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Christian sex advise, but he doesn't hold back
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Loving Him Well
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A must read for any wife!
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Internationally best-selling author and relationship expert Arielle Ford offers the keys to rediscovering love, passion, respect, and renewed commitment years after the simple act of falling in love and getting married. It's one thing to fall in love and get married. It is quite another thing to have a marriage you love. This is the true purpose of Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate.
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SO Hard To Listen To!
- By froglover on 12-03-16
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Over 90 percent of couples experience some level of tension around money. In fact, money issues are the number one stressor in relationships. So many books try to fix the surface problems, such as how to budget and what to prioritize when it comes to finances, but the issues go much deeper than just a simple spreadsheet. How do men and women view money differently? What do most couples fight about? How can they get on the same page?
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No matter how hopeless you feel about the state of your marriage, we believe you can rekindle intimacy with your spouse. Because it happened to us too. We used to be just like you, missing that deep connection, meaningful conversations, and excitement we had when we first met. However, we have used what we share in this audiobook to reconnect, grow together, and rekindle intimacy in our marriage; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, physically, sexually, and much more.
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Basic tips you could find on any website.
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You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths? For too long, our confidence in marriage has been undermined by persistent misunderstandings and imperfect data. This landmark audio book will radically change how we think and talk about marriage - and what we can dare to hope from it.
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well done
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What listeners say about Secrets of Sex and Marriage
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Matt
- 03-11-23
Great Book. I highly recommend.
Touched on subjects no other author or counselor has touched on. One being that sex isn’t a need. Second it offered so much great advice about the different types of desires of people, and how to work with the desires within the marriage. I highly recommend it.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-10-24
Every Married Couple Should Read!!!!
This book was so insightful and so helpful! My husband and I have really good sex life, but this book brought to our attention some deficits that we had, and the steps that we needed to make everything better. I highly suggest all married couples and engaged couples read this, it’s great advice and you won’t regret the time spent reading it.
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- Parson Opinion
- 03-17-23
Insightful & Understandable
An excellent resource for improving married couples sex life. Well researched & shared on a real persons level.
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- Shaffer
- 05-03-23
My new fav from Shanti (& now Sytsma too)
Poignant, informational, and relatable. Interesting topics based on data for 3/4th's of the book, and then Christian grace wrapping up towards the end. Thank you to the authors and supporting staff, friends, and family (oh, and those surveyed).
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- PinkW
- 03-08-23
Immense help with understanding each other
I eagerly waited for this release since finishing For Women Only and then For Men Only. This audiobook used the same statistical approach to common marital problems as the previous books while structuring all the points with a counseling approach from an actual marriage counselor. That being said, I felt that listening to this book was a real up front and truthful examination of where things go wrong with our own feelings. The narrating was clear and pleasing to listen to, as Shaunti Feldhahn brings a great energy with her voice. If you enjoyed the other two books I mentioned, you will enjoy this one
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- Kevin Cooksey
- 11-01-24
One of the best books I have read on this subject
As a marriage and family therapist I have read a lot of books about sex. This is definitely one of the best books I have read!
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- AC
- 02-29-24
Felt too vague
I felt like the book touched on a lot of important topics, but skimmed them and in my opinion could have provided more specific information. I’m enjoying reading her other book “for women only” much better.
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- Cpt-blitz
- 03-29-23
An Interesting Conclusion
This book starts out strong but then fizzles at the end as it loses solidarity and focus on its main intent. Let me attempt to explain what I mean.
The beginning chapters start out with helpful information that refer often to longitudinal studies and how to identify a high-drive spouse from a low-drive spouse and what type of initiator they are. It does offer some useful scenarios, and at times cringey “real life” examples that supposedly happened. The policeman high-fiving a dude for banging his wife out on the soccer field (illegal by the way)… come on. Zero chance it played out or happened like that without total embellishment… but I digress.
No, where the book fell apart was in chapter 9 where you are, in a nutshell, told to “accept” and “grieve” your spouse for who they are, or the lack thereof. A low-drive, non initiating, spouse who is fine with sex just once a month is going to rejoice here. A high-drive, stressed out, spouse who feels like they are carrying the weight of the sexual intimacy in a relationship will be extremely frustrated. Being told there is nothing you can do other than change your perspective? You’re married. You’re stuck. Accept it. That’s going to come off pretty flat for a lot of folks.
After all, sex and intimacy were created by God, for the purpose of binding spouses and bringing children in to the world. It’s supposed to be an act only shared within a loving, caring relationship, where partners should want to do their best and be their best. To look for ways to please and serve their spouse. The problem with chapter 9 is it leaned way to heavy on telling the spouse to accept their spouse as they are, rather than persuade both spouses to reach and seek for compromise. After all, sex is not a bad thing. It should be strengthening and enhancing the intimacy within a marriage. Simply accepting your spouse for how things are, especially when one of them is not happy, will only lead to resentment and hurt. They claim this “grief” will allow you to move on. But how can you when you know it could be better. After all, you feel these feelings for your spouse, why are they not reciprocated or at least being attempted to be reciprocated? This chapter would have been much more effective it provided real scenarios, conversation starters, and methods on how different types of spouses could approach reaching compromise, peace, and ultimately, lasting intimacy.
Overall I thought the book was going in the right direction, but missed the mark at the end. The “I’m me, this is how I am mentality”, rather than “I should be communicating with my spouse, asking how they like to receive intimacy and being open to their ideas, wants, needs… especially if they are meeting mine” would do much better here. It’s a compromise - an invitation to love your spouse how they are, of course - but inviting you to go further and actually CHANGE for the betterment of your marriage. What a Novel idea right?
Compromise. Meet your spouse in the middle. Strive to build a beautiful, adventurous, loving, and intimate sex life. It will only increase and deepen your love for one another.
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