Come Together
The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
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Narrated by:
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Emily Nagoski PhD
About this listen
From the New York Times bestselling author of Come as You Are and co-author of Burnout comes an illuminating exploration of how to maintain a happy sex life in a long-term relationship.
“Emily Nagoski is a national treasure—helping us all understand how to finally build true, joyful, confident sex lives.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed
In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships.
Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true.
So, what is true? Come Together isn’t about how much we want sex, or how often we’re having it; it’s about whether we like the sex we’re having. Nagoski breaks down the obstacles that impede us from enjoying sex—from stress and body image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex “should” be—and presents the best ways to overcome them. You’ll learn:
• that “spontaneous desire” is not the kind of desire to strive for if you want to have great sex for decades
• vocabulary for talking with partners about ways to get in “the mood” and how to not take it personally when “the mood” is nowhere to be found
• how to understand your own and your partner’s “emotional floorplan,” so that you have a blueprint for how to get to a sexy state of mind
Written with scientific rigor, humor, and compassion, Nagoski shows us what great sex can look like, how to create it in our own lives, and what to do when struggles arise.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of visuals and resources from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Emily Nagoski, PhD (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Come Together is wise and deeply comforting. Once again, Emily Nagoski is dismantling myths about sexuality and giving everyone permission to discover what is already true and love what they discover.”—Angela Chen, author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
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By: Shari Franke
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The 5 Second Rule
- Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
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How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in five seconds. Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears. What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?
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I turned it off after an hour.
- By Zac on 04-08-17
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Beautiful Ugly
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Author Grady Green is having the worst best day of his life. Grady calls his wife to share some exciting news as she is driving home. He hears Abby slam on the brakes, get out of the car, then nothing. When he eventually finds her car by the cliff edge the headlights are on, the driver door is open, her phone is still there. . . but his wife has disappeared. A year later, Grady is still overcome with grief and desperate to know what happened to Abby. He can’t sleep, and he can’t write, so he travels to a tiny Scottish island to try to get his life back on track. Then he sees the impossible.
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Yawn
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-25
By: Alice Feeney
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James
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When the enslaved Jim overhears that he is about to be sold to a man in New Orleans, separated from his wife and daughter forever, he decides to hide on nearby Jackson Island until he can formulate a plan. Meanwhile, Huck Finn has faked his own death to escape his violent father, recently returned to town. As all readers of American literature know, thus begins the dangerous and transcendent journey by raft down the Mississippi River toward the elusive and too-often-unreliable promise of the Free States and beyond.
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Can we ever be free
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Project Hail Mary
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Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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Bazinga
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The Women
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Women can be heroes. When twenty-year-old nursing student Frances “Frankie” McGrath hears these words, it is a revelation. Raised in the sun-drenched, idyllic world of Southern California and sheltered by her conservative parents, she has always prided herself on doing the right thing. But in 1965, the world is changing, and she suddenly dares to imagine a different future for herself. When her brother ships out to serve in Vietnam, she joins the Army Nurse Corps and follows his path.
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WOW. Just Wow
- By Joanne DeVuono on 02-08-24
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Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old
- Thoughts on Aging as a Woman
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Brooke Shields has spent a lifetime in the public eye. Growing up as a child actor and model, her every feature was scrutinized, her every decision judged. Today Brooke faces a different kind of scrutiny: that of being a “woman of a certain age.” And yet, for Brooke, the passage of time has brought freedom. At fifty-nine, she feels more comfortable in her skin, more empowered and confident than she did decades ago in those famous Calvin Kleins. Now, in Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old, she’s changing the narrative about women and aging.
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I was torn on this one
- By Catamaran on 01-18-25
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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
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For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F*ck positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let's be honest, shit is f*cked, and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn't sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is - a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is his antidote to the coddling, let's-all-feel-good mind-set that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
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A book for 20-somethings, but not me
- By Bonny on 09-22-16
By: Mark Manson
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What listeners say about Come Together
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah
- 02-11-24
Amazing presentation of such a helpful roadmap
Emily is a great narrator and you can hear her underline certain concepts so they really pop out. After listening to this, now I’m buying the hardback so I can underline it myself. Astounding compilation of work. Well done.
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- Garry B.
- 06-19-24
Everyone should read this.
This is a must-read for everyone. Dr. Emily is extremely articulate and delivers complex and fraught topics in a way that is approachable, compassionate and humorous. I
Love how inclusive the book is as well.
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- Inquiry Mama
- 05-16-24
Outstanding relationship book
I liked how utterly surprised I was that this book was only about sex about 50%. All of it was about our relationship to ourselves, partners and society. I adored the author reading her own book. I might turn right around and relisten. I did buy a paper copy too because I wanted access to some of the more technical.descriptions, like the Emotional Floorplan and the Handbooks, Boy and Girl.
I also look forward to reading her co-authored book soon.
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- Judy J
- 11-27-24
Best Sex Educator
Come Together is a stunning and in-depth guide of what you and your partner(s) can do to spice things up. Emily Nagoski, PhD does such an amazing job of making the research relatable. I knew I wanted to read this because of her other wildly popular book, Come as You Are. After reading this, I will now be turning to her first book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.
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- Sarah B.
- 03-02-24
Great read
A thoughtful reflection on gender dynamics and their influence in the bedroom. 10/10 would recommend 🙂
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- KAC
- 03-13-24
Great life advice, not just sex advice!
Like all of Emily's books, this book offers great info on living human life, in a human body, in relation to other humans. The sex info is wonderful (pleasure is the measure!) but the chapters on emotional understanding, gender, living in changing bodies make the book invaluable (and applicable to ALL areas of life).
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- K. Fee
- 02-02-24
Very Informative and an Easy Listen
Nice balance of research and explanation. It was easy to listen to, and the information is so well presented. It gives me a lot to think about and consider for myself. I appreciate the inclusivity.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-13-24
Soul and Body Freeing
What an incredible journey this book takes you on. The science is insightful and well researched. my favorite part about all of her books is that she's her authentic self in regards to own experiences no bullishit fooder in order to fill her books. she includes other resources such as other great authors as well.
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- Victor Vanzinetti
- 10-03-24
Remarkable!
Absolutely valuable life changing advice. My connection with my woman has become more enjoyable and better se.ually.
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- Sil
- 04-19-24
Good but
Definitely insightful but I feel like could have been much much shorter than it is.
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