It’s Valentine’s Day, and Megan has taken this opportunity to spill her feelings to her friend Alice in a very intimate card. She’s nervous, but fortunately it appears Alice could make the same romantic admission first. There are two candy hearts held within Alice’s envelope, each one of them featuring a startlingly explicit phrase. But is this a message from Alice, or from the candies themselves? The truth is quickly revealed when these sentient bisexual treats reveal their true desires.

A terrifying scream rings out through the woods of Sleepy Butthole. Could this be the work of the Headless Buttwoman, a sentient pumpkin who’s always giving head but never receiving it? If your butt is already tingling as ferociously as ours, then this is the collection for you. Presenting Scary Stories to Tingle Your Lesbian Butt, a seven book collection of the most toe-curling tales to ever get you off.

A heatwave in Southern California is bad news, and when Amanda’s air conditioning unit breaks down, things quickly go from bad to worse. It’ll take a full day to repair, sending Amanda on a desperate mission to keep cool.

When a strange tear in the cosmos appears within Earth’s annual path, the consequences are disastrous. For one night a year, the vast majority of humans now undergo a frightening mental change, transforming into hateful, rage-fueled zombies who will stop at nothing to satiate their desire for brutality. While not much is understood about this horrific mass hysteria, the demographic it effects is very specific: cisgender straight people.

Welcome to Neverton, Montana: home to a God-fearing community with a heart of gold. Nestled high up in the mountains is Camp Damascus, the self-proclaimed “most effective” gay conversion camp in the country. Here, a life free from sin awaits. But the secret behind that success is anything but holy. And they’ll scare you straight to hell.