Master of Trickery

“Must be slim, able to stand for long periods of time, and be impervious to the cold.” The headline caught my attention. “Hours are negotiable, pay is minimal, clothing absolutely forbidden.” The second line piqued my curiosity. “Able to hold your bladder and tongue, refrain from opinions or suggestions, and be the perfect living canvas.” The third made me scowl. I should’ve kept scrolling past the advertisement. I should’ve applied for the boring receptionist job at minimum wage. I should’ve clicked on any other job where I got to keep my clothes on. But I didn’t.

"Must be brave, stubborn, and impervious to the tempers of loved ones". The first line hissed with history. "Hours are endless, pay is non-existence, quitting absolutely forbidden". The second line ached with truth. "Able to function on no sleep, refrain from running when times get hard, and be more than just a living canvas but a lover". The third thrummed with honesty. "Other attributes required: forgiving, opinionated, and not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. Must also enjoy being touched and kissed at any time of my choosing".